Tag: Relationships

Why the Steve Jobs Biography?

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I recently discovered that Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of the Apple empire, spent a lot of time toward the end of his life allowing research for his own biography. Why you might ask? Check out this article, re-posted here:

When Steve Jobs official biography was announced, everyone wondered why the notoriously private Steve Jobs would let Walter Isaacson interview him over 40 times, let Isaacson talk to family and friends and pretty much have unprecedented access to Jobs’ entire life. Turns out Jobs had a very personal reason.

Isaacson saw him a few weeks before Jobs passed and finally asked him that very question, “Why had he been so eager, during close to 50 interviews and conversations over the course of two years, to open up so much for a book when he was usually so private?” Steve Jobs responded:

“I wanted my kids to know me,” he said. “I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did.”

With all the things Jobs did in his life, it’s nice to see his heart was in the right place at the end.

Another writer in the Daily Mail (from the UK) goes on to say that the book is ultimately a love letter to his family. He wasn’t there for his family, but now his children will be able to read all about him in this posthumous biography in order to get to know their dad.

Steve Jobs left behind over $6 billion in personal assets. That’s more money than many of us will ever see in our lifetimes combined, but none of his huge fortune will buy a relationship with his children now. Steve Jobs made choices which earned him a lot of money, but apparently he alienated his family in the process. How sad.

Can you imagine the regret you would feel if you spent your last days apologizing to your family for not being there? With all of the advanced technology, Steve Jobs never created an app that would build a relationship with his children.

This story is shared for only one reason: don’t buy into the lie that your job, hobbies, money, financial success, business, fame, pleasure or prestige are worth sacrificing your relationships with your wife and children.

Too many of us fathers make these same poor choices. Maybe your father made poor choices as well, so you are merely passing on the family tradition.

Steve Job’s position at work has already been replaced, and Apple will continue to grow and develop new products for our enjoyment and productivity, but his family lost an irreplaceable person. Don’t be that guy.

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Christian Spirituality in America

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Our church is going through a church-wide campaign called, “r12 – True Spirituality According to Jesus.” This has the potential to transform people who simply profess Christ or attend church into authentic followers of Jesus; true disciples.

I was reading the September 13, 2011 Barna report on American Christians and the lack of spiritual depth and found the information troubling, if not totally accurate. Take a look at this information:

The ceremonies conducted last weekend on the tenth anniversary of the tragic events of September 11, 2001 raised important questions for people to ponder: What does it mean to be an American? What are the duties and obligations of people who call themselves citizens of the United States?

Perhaps churches and other ministries throughout the nation would benefit from similar exercises that pose parallel questions for their adherents: What does it mean to be a follower of Jesus Christ? What are the duties and obligations of someone who calls himself/herself a Christian or claims to be a citizen of the kingdom of God?

While everyone is on a lifelong journey, the Barna research revealed that a relatively small proportion of individuals stick with the process long enough to become the mature Christ-followers and world changers that they are meant to be. The nationwide studies indicate that there are several barriers to overcome before many people are likely to persevere and maximize their connection with God.

Obstacle 1: Commitment

  • 81% say they have made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that is still important in their life today.
  • 78% strongly agree that spirituality is very important to them.
  • 18% claim to be totally committed to investing into their own spiritual development.
  • 22% claim to be “completely dependent upon God.”
  • Those figures help explain why 52% believe that there is much more to the Christian life than what they have experienced. Without a full determination to live like Christ and for Him, the path to complete transformation is blocked.

Obstacle 2: Repentance

  • 64% say that they have confessed their sins to God and asked for His forgiveness.
  • But the evidence is quite clear that relatively few self-identified Christians are serious about abandoning the lure of sin and handing total control of their life to God. Only 12% admitted that recognizing and grasping the significance of their sins had been so personally devastating that it caused them to crash emotionally.
  • Only about 3% of all self-identified Christians in America have come to the final stops on the transformational journey (the places where they have surrendered control of their life to God, submitted to His will for their life, and devoted themselves to loving and serving God and other people).

Obstacle 3: Activity

Mired in a culture that rewards hard work and busyness, it’s not surprising that tens of millions of self-identified Christians have confused religious activity with spiritual significance and depth.

  • 39% have participated in a combination of three “normal” religious activities in the past week (i.e., attending church services, praying, reading the Bible).
  • But far fewer have engaged in another trio of deeper faith expressions: less than 10% have talked about their faith with a non-Christian, fasted for religious purposes, and had an extended time of spiritual reflection during the past week.
  • Various spiritual disciplines (including solitude, sacrifice, acts of service, silence, and scriptural meditation) are also infrequently practiced.

Obstacle 4: Spiritual Community

Most self-identified Christians note that they feel comfortable and connected within their church, however, various measures show that there is not much vulnerability and accountability occurring within the context of those faith-based connections.

  • Many self-identified Christians do not take their faith community seriously, whatever type it may be, as a place to which they should be open and held to biblical principles.
  • 21% believe that spiritual maturity requires a vital connection to a community of faith.
  • 35% claim to have confessed their sins verbally to another believer at some point during the past quarter.

The Big Picture
According to George Barna, there are several church-wide concerns that could be addressed toward helping self-identified Christians experience a more fulfilling and robust relationship with and faith in Christ.

  1. The first challenge has to do with tools and expectations: Barna noted that most churches encourage people to engage in an increasing amount of religious activity, asking them to pour themselves into efforts related to the “core six” spiritual dimensions: worship, evangelism, discipleship, stewardship, service, and community. While growth in those areas is important, Barna expressed two related concerns.
    1. The first was that people often fail to realize that the end game of spiritual development is godly character, not worldly accomplishments.
    2. And, sometimes people get so wrapped up in church programs or producing specific religious results that they lose sight of the purpose of their faith, which is to have a life-changing relationship with Jesus.
      1. It becomes easy to substitute religious activity for intentional and simple engagement with God.
      2. American Christians, in particular, have become known for doing good works and religious exercises rather than simply being friends and imitators of Christ.
  2. A second challenge is to help believers embrace the necessity of sacrifice and suffering in order to surrender and submit themselves fully to God: Unfortunately, in a society that disdains purposeful sacrifice and suffering that leads to growth and depth, brokenness is an unappealing and rare objective. Until such brokenness occurs, people’s transformation is hindered.
  3. A third challenge was the importance of perceiving and experiencing a faith community as a vital support system in the pursuit of a deeper relationship with God: Today, the ultimate product of small groups is a combination of knowledge and comfort more often than it is commitment and application. Knowledge is a crucial step in the growth process, but without transparency and accountability the information rarely gets converted into personal, congregational, or cultural transformation.

Wow. Looks like we need to get back to the mission and get serious about our faith. How do we as church leaders bring up the subject without seeming “holier than thou?” Perhaps it is a matter of investing into one another. Jesus modeled and lived it out in the presence of the Twelve; perhaps we must really grasp the meaning of Christian community and embrace our mission in the world.

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When Confession is a Good Thing

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I have always heard the phrase, “Confession is good for the soul.” In my case, I suppose it was in the context of my parents knowing what I did anyway so I might as well fess up. The “good for the soul” part might have come from the Catholic church where one of the seven sacraments is confession, but my confession was good for my back end.

What I want to address today is confession and how it relates to our marriage. The Bible talks about confession quite a lot, for instance James write:

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. (James 5:16)

Consider for a moment the last time you hurt your wife. An unkind word, impatient gesture, or a harsh tone from you that did some damage. Something in the last day or so will do just fine. Let’s assume for a moment that you have not resolved that offense. What would be easier to do?

  1. Go to your wife and say, “You know when I said or did that thing that hurt you? Well, I’m sorry.”
  2. Go to your wife and say, “You know when I said or did that thing that hurt you? I was wrong, will you forgive me?”

Granted, we may have to admit that we would find either statement hard to say, but if we want to promote a healthy relationship, does it make a difference how we “confess our sins to each other?”

Most people find it much easier to say, “I’m sorry,” than to say, “I was wrong, will you forgive me?” Why is that? Are they interchangeable expressions, or do they approach an offended person with very different messages? Consider for a moment that the first is actually a non-confessional statement quite capable of causing further offense, while the second is an example of genuine confession.

“I’m sorry” states a feeling but gives the other person no opportunity to respond. It’s not much more that a vague report of being uncomfortable. It doesn’t really take responsibility or accept the vulnerability of confession. It’s not even clear: Am I sorry you got hurt or sorry that I hurt you? The phrase, “I’m sorry,” doesn’t risk having the other person say, “I don’t forgive you.” That’s why we say, “I’m sorry”–because we’re really not.

“I was wrong. Will you forgive me?” is scary, because:

  1. It lets down our defenses.
  2. It gives your wife a clear opportunity to retaliate.
  3. It forces us to reverse positions, and we might get hurt.
  4. It allows the depth of the offense to become clear, perhaps your wife isn’t ready to forgive.

“I’m sorry” doesn’t ask for forgiveness, but “Will you forgive me” recognizes that forgiveness isn’t something we can take for granted.

Application: So, do you want to be healed? Do you want your marriage healed? Are you willing to take the risk of becoming vulnerable in order to visualize God design for your marriage? What do you need to do TODAY as far as confession? Is there repentance that needs to take place? How many bridges have you burned? Too many? Did you violate a trust or do you leave your underwear on the floor all the time? Confession and repentance is the key with our relationship with God, think about how that works with your wife, too.

The statement above says, “When confession is a good thing.” I dare say it is always the best policy; from the heart and done quickly. Don’t allow anger and bitterness to build up.

Hey, take a look at this testimony of Joel and Susan. Well worth your time to see this.

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Reflecting on Valentine’s Day

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Today is Valentine’s Day. A young lady asked me at church yesterday if Valentine’s Day is for girls or for guys. I said I thought that it was for girls because they need to hear how much they are loved by the ones who love them. Men are rocks and don’t need to be on the receiving end of flowers, chocolates, cards and hearts. My wife and daughter are the treasured women in my life, so my goal is to let them know how much they are loved. But men also need to hear how much they are loved, in spite of their faults, failures and denials. I am reminded of the words of Jesus in Luke 6:27-36 regarding that we are to love our enemies. Here is the key portion of Scripture for me:

“If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them!” (Luke 6:32)

Valentine’s Day is a day set apart for celebrations of romantic love, but let me offer my thoughts on this passage that focuses on love.

The origins of this holiday are somewhat unsure. Several men named “Valentine” (Valentinus) were recognized as martyred saints by the church. One of these was buried near Rome on February 14. Medieval tradition held that this particular Valentine, a priest, was marrying Christian couples in a time when the Roman emperor prohibited young men from marrying. For this crime, he was arrested and killed by the Roman government. In recent times, an addition to this story claims that Valentine, before his death, sent a love note to a young girl whom he loved, signing it, “From your Valentine.”

Unfortunately, there is little reason to believe that any of the historical saints named Valentine actually did any of these actions that might be associated with romantic love. Apparently, the connection between St. Valentine and romance was popularized by Geoffrey Chaucer, the 14th-century English writer and poet. Later writers on the saints embellished Chaucer’s story, leaving us with the Christian saint who honored marriage and sent the first Valentine’s Day card.

I grew up hearing very little about St. Valentine. February 14 was simply a day when we did special things to express affection for our friends and family members. The “big event” happened at school, when we would exchange valentines with our classmates. As soon as I got home after school, I’d dump out my pile of valentines to see if any of them included special notes from any of the girls in my class or perhaps finding those little candy hearts.

At this point, you may be wondering what any of this has to do with Jesus’ call to love. Our Valentine’s Day traditions seem to be completely disconnected from what we read in Luke 6:32: “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them.”

Yet, in a way, my childhood Valentine’s Day practice did express love like that of Jesus. I did not give valentines only to my friends or to the girls I hoped would like me in return. My fellow students and I were expected to give valentines to every person in the class, including those whom we didn’t care for, those whom we judged to be “weird,” and those we might have considered to be our “enemies” on the playground. We even gave cards to the kids who did not participate. Ironically, our valentine exchange was more a reflection of the kind of love Jesus commends in Luke 6 than it was a celebration of exclusive, romantic love.

I think it’s fine to be reminded to express love to those who are most special to us. If Valentine’s Day encourages spouses to say “I love you” to each other and friends to celebrate their friendship, that’s great. Certainly the world would be a better place if people expressed their love more often. But Jesus encourages us to love, not just those who love us back, but also those who do not love us at all. We all have people in our lives, at work, in the store, perhaps even in our families or our church. Our calling, as followers of Jesus, is to love them and do good to them, not in order that they might respond, but so that we might live each day in obedience to our Savior who loves us.

God help us to express our love for those who are closest to us, but, even more pray that God help us to love others as he has loved us.

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The Sad Goodbye

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Paul intentionally sails past Ephesus and requests the elders to meet him in Miletus (Acts 20:15, 16). There was a deep affection for the people in Ephesus and their leaders. When they met, notice the attention he pays to them:

You know that from the day I set foot in the province of Asia until now I have done the Lord’s work humbly and with many tears. I have endured the trials that came to me from the plots of the Jews. I never shrank back from telling you what you needed to hear, either publicly or in your homes. (Acts 20:18-20)

He was attentive to them because he became involved with them emotionally and spiritually. They saw his humility, which is the confession of sin and a deep realization of his unworthiness to receive God’s grace. He was open about his past. They also saw his heart, not hiding the pain of his hardships and the risk he took in developing friendships with others. They knew Paul was genuine.

Paul held nothing back (Acts 20:27) but preached the whole message God wanted them to know, even the hardships of being a follower of Christ. He even told them about his immediate future and going to Jerusalem (Acts 20:22, 23). Paul had been warned about what lay ahead for him, but was drawn toward the mission like a moth to a lamp. If he received such opposition in all these other cities, why would Jerusalem be an exception?

Paul has an assumption, too. He believed he would never see the Ephesians again, you can see this as you read the whole farewell speech (Acts 20:38).

Paul also had one ambition, one life verse that kept him going (Acts 20:24), that he would finished the race and complete the task God had given him. Nothing would move him off course.

Fear is a powerful tool, but Paul’s love for Christ and others far exceeded his fear of suffering and death. He knew the task was given to him, and he was not supposed to finish the task given to Barnabas, Peter or Timothy. I am reminded of Paul’s challenge in Ephesians 2:10, that we are His workmanship created for good works, which God prepared in advance. God desires for us to encourage others (Hebrews 10:24, 25) but we are responsible for completing our own task.

Now Paul gives them an admonition, to expect wolves to creep into the fold and devour the flock (Acts 20:25-31). They are told to guard two groups, “themselves and God’s people” (Acts 20:28). One cannot guard others if you cannot guard yourself. The word used to “keep watch” or to guard is prosecho, a nautical term that means to veer off course. Leaders cannot lead people beyond where they themselves have been led. Leaders can have a difficult time staying on course, and can even get caught up in sinful activity, but the admonition of Paul is to stay on course.

The only way to stay on course is to know the Word of God. In Acts 20:30 Paul tells them that men will rise up and distort the truth; twisting it to suit themselves, just like Adam and Eve back in the Garden (Genesis 3:1).

Paul also showed his affection for them (Acts 20:36-38). This same Paul taught that love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8 NASB), perhaps at this moment he would also testify that love never fails to hurt. We become vulnerable when we choose to enter into relationships. It is a risky thing to open yourself up to the potential hurt that can come when we genuinely care for another person. Was it hard for Paul to leave them? Just read the opening verse of the next chapter (Acts 21:1 NIV). I think that Luke, who was waiting on the boat (Acts 20:13), had to literally go ashore to tear Paul away from them.

Application: Are you willing to make friendships that go beyond discussions about the weather or football? In what ways are you sharing life with other people, and I’m not talking about spending time at work with co-workers (unless you’re intentionally investing time as well as emotional and spiritual energy into the relationship). Do you talk about the deep things of life, marriage, raising children, God’s plan, and God’s will? Take a risk and invest yourself into another man until he is ready to invest himself into the life of another man. Who sees your humility and who knows your heart? With whom are you holding back? Have you discovered the task God has given to you, and to you alone? Express that to someone else today. Have you embraced a life verse that keeps you on track? Have you veered off course and need to get back on course? With whom are you accountable and therefore have guarded your life from the enemy?

Act on Your Thankfulness

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Years ago in college I was a part of a musical called Bright New Wings, and was able to play the character of the healed leper. The story is in Luke 17, where Jesus heals 10 lepers, yet only one returns to thank Him:

As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. As he entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!” He looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy. One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!” He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” And Jesus said to the man, “Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you.” (Luke 17:11-19)

This story illustrates the importance of being thankful for things that others may take for granted. To me, it also speaks of the importance of living in the moment. How many times do we carry on about our business, neglecting the wonder of the moment we are in? Perhaps that is what happened to the other nine lepers. Selfishness and a casual attitude toward Christ kept them from returning to give thanks.

I believe that during this time of Thanksgiving, we need to put into practice what we have learn learned. Act on it. How about today, each of us finding five people and thanking them for something specific. Not around the thanksgiving table, but now. Will you pick up the phone, get on Facebook, or write a note to someone you are truly thankful for? Tell them specifically why you are thankful for them (and no, just for “being you” isn’t specific enough). Your Thanksgiving weekend will get off to a fantastic start, and maybe have more to talk about around the table.

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The Seven Checkpoints

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The Seven Checkpoints: Seven Principles Every Teenager Needs to Know
(Stanley and Hall)

What I have found is that although this book is aimed at guiding teenagers, these principles allow people of all ages to progress toward faithfulness in the task of becoming authentic followers of Christ. Take a quick look…

1. Authentic Faith. This principle helps us to understand the difference between a second-hand and a first-hand faith. This is a primary reason many people abandon Christianity later in life. True faith has confidence in who God is; that He can be trusted and will do as He promised.

2. Spiritual Disciplines. How is your devotional life? How do you get to know God? How much time is spent desiring God? Spiritual transformation begins with a renewed mind. When you see God for who He is, you will do as He says.

3. Moral Boundaries. Clear moral limits are essential in any life stage. We must learn to protect our bodies and emotions by honoring God’s plan for morality (in relationships, movie choices, personal reading). The depth of intimacy with God and others is dependent on this principle. Purity paves the way.

4. Healthy Friendships. Our associations have a direct impact on our decisions and the standards we choose. Do friends build us up or drag us down?

5. Wise Choices. This principle will help apply godly wisdom to everyday choices between right and wrong. This principle will affect our goals and future dreams.

6. Ultimate Authority. There is often a disconnection between freedom and authority, but the Bible teaches that true freedom is found under authority. Freedom is not always doing what you please (saying “yes”) but having the strength and character to wisely choose “no.”

7. Others First. Selfishness comes naturally to all people, but selflessness has to be learned. This principle focuses on the nature of humility and service. So, how do you see yourself aligning with these principles in your own life? How will you impact eternity for those around you? At the gym? The people in our church and community? Or those with whom we have a business relationship?

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Ways to Influence People

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Leadership can be defined as exerting influence over people; which puts just about all of us into a leadership position. We influence people all the time; thus making us leaders. There is an art and a science to leading others; and the best example of leadership is Jesus himself.

Quotes:

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. — Henry Drummond

We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what they do or what they have–for their usefulness. — Thomas Merton

Top 10 Ways to Influence People:

  1. Respect other people’s time, space and values.
  2. Listen beyond words to someone’s heart.
  3. Ask questions in order to get to know someone.
  4. Be vulnerable with people closest to you.
  5. Make time for people, not just projects.
  6. Spend time in prayer with people you love.
  7. Go beyond chit-chat to real issues.
  8. Know your friends’ real dreams and intimidations.
  9. Take a road trip to build a friendship.
  10. Have fun together in spontaneous ways.

Trust and Faith

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The essence of the Christian life is faith and trust. It’s one thing to simply believe the right stuff about Jesus but it totally another thing to live a life worthy of being called a Christian. Trusting God that He wants the best for you and any restrictions are for our benefit. Trust is a learned skill, and is something that is earned. The most we trust God, the more we come to realize that He is worthy of our trust (Jeremiah 29:11).

Quotes:

Jesus says that the root of anxiety is inadequate faith in our Father’s future grace. As unbelief gets the upper hand in our hearts, one of the effects is anxiety. The root cause of anxiety is a failure to trust all that God has promised to be for us in Jesus. — John Piper

The one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible. — Thomas Aquinas

Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted in spite of your changing moods. — C. S. Lewis

Top 10 Places in Life That Require Trust:

  1. Prayer: knowing that He’s there and hears every word. Even the ones you have not said.
  2. Friendships: knowing that He can sustain the ones that matter.
  3. Parents: knowing that He can bring understanding and respect.
  4. Children: knowing that they are held by stronger arms than yours.
  5. Church: knowing that God is bigger than problems and messes.
  6. Personality: knowing that He is changing you and unlocking your true self.
  7. Career: knowing that God is preparing you for important things.
  8. Finances: knowing that God is absolutely committed to your supply.
  9. Destiny: knowing that your journey has a good destination (John 14:3).
  10. Your life: knowing that God will finish what He has started (Philippians 1:6).

Just Lead Me

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There is a great debate on roles within a marriage. The issue probably causes more conflict than anything else since people will often enter marriage with differing expectations. Those more conservative tend to focus on the leadership of the husband and father and the submission of the wife; those more egalitarian see the marriage as a partnership with no one person being the head or the leader. A partnership is a great way to go (Philippians 2:3-4, Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:25, 28, 31, 33), the two becoming one. I heard an old preacher once say that “anything with no head is dead and anything with two heads is a freak.” So without getting into that debate, (although I probably opened myself up for one) I have discovered that leadership is often misunderstood.

If a wife and mother says to her husband, “I wish you would take on more of a role of spiritual leader in our home,” I can guarantee she is not saying that she desires for him to be the boss over her, make decisions for the family, or tell her what she can do or where she can go, what to believe, what to cook, how to dress, how to raise the children, or how often she needs to make time for him. If a husband really leads and loves his wife as Christ loved the church, there is no way to lead with such abuse, bossiness or selfishness.

Look at the context of her statement. How many wives attend church alone and bring the children into God’s house without her husband? Or maybe when he comes, he’s thinking more about the game this afternoon than about how the truths he is hearing can change his life, his marriage and his kids? I suspect that what she desires is that her husband lead spiritually by taking the initiative to pray together, to go to church together, to demonstrate the love of God in the home and set the pace for her and the children.

I’m haunted by the lyrics of this Sanctus Real song and thought you all might allow God to speak to you through these lyrics. If you want to hear the song, [ Click Here ]

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying…

Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They’re just children from the outside
I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine
They’re in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying…

Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone

Father, lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone.

Men, that last section is addressed to the Father. Read it again, we cannot do this alone. Don’t leave you wife and kids hungry for love. Don’t let them stand alone because people stumble and fall when they are alone. Remind your wife that she is the love of your life. Tell your kids just how important they are to you. Make time for the important things in life.

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