Tag: Love

How Do You Spell Love?

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How’s your summer going? Bethany is on the MFuge trip to Phillly this week and I stopped to think about how fast the summer is passing by. There are only a few weeks left until she heads back to school.

That got me thinking…

Now would be a good time for the Men of Steel to consider how much time we’ve spent with our kids this summer, and how important it is to them that we do. I’m talking about personal, individual time.

Has it been minimal, or have you intentionally put your work and personal interests on hold so that you can invade your child’s world?

Have you spent time reading together? Talking together? Gone on walks, hikes, bike rides? Taken a family vacation together? Gone swimming together? Taken your daughter out on dates? Gone fishing, canoeing, or a ton of other fun outdoor activities with your son?

I read a great quote this week: “The thing our children need most is often in the shortest supply — our time.”

They don’t care or need the “stuff” that a good paying job with long hours can provide. Children of all ages spell love T-I-M-E.

So, before you begin this mental review of your summer schedule, watch this brief video. Hold on to the very end, it’s powerful.

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Do You Love God Enough?

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My Sunday morning Bible study is taking a fresh look at Peter and how his life often mirrors our own at various times in life. This week we are looking at the denials during of Peter on that dreadful Good Friday, and the restoration that took place after the resurrection.

BTW, have you ever considered why that day is called “Good Friday,” knowing what happened to Jesus, the crucifixion and all? Long ago I saw a B.C. cartoon that put is perfectly. BC and Grog were pondering the meaning of the term: “Why do you call Good Friday, “good” — a term oft misunderstood. You who were saved by the blood of his cross — you can call Good Friday good.”

There are important times in our lives when we either stand up for what we believe or cave in to the pressure around us. Peter saw himself as the kind of man who stands firm, but he overestimated his commitment on at least one occasion where he denied even knowing Jesus.

Though there is often a heavy price to pay for being uncompromising about our faith, the price of caving in is heavier. The good news is that even when we fail, God doesn’t give up on us. In fact, those who fail are exactly the kind of people Jesus came to redeem and restore.

Pledge: Matthew 26:17-35
The disciples were as human as anyone, and one night they got proud and jealous. When Peter declared that he would never deny Jesus, even if everyone else in the room did, he probably didn’t cultivate many warm, fuzzy feelings among the disciples. In fact, the text implies he was saying he was more faithful than the other disciples, which was likely quite offensive.

Peter could have simply said, “I will never forsake you,” but he didn’t. He compared himself with all the others and affirmed that he would be the strongest and most faithful of the disciples. As Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” And Peter would soon land hard.

In 1 Peter 5:5, Peter quotes an Old Testament passage about God opposing the proud but giving grace to the humble (Proverbs 3:34). He then urges his readers to humble themselves under God’s hand in order that they might be lifted up at the proper time (1 Peter 5:6).

  1. In what ways did Peter experience the realities of this passage? In what ways have you?
  2. How have you seen spiritual pride manifested in Christianity in general? In our church? In your life?

Denial: Luke 22:54-62
In a time of trouble and fear, Simon the Rock denies ever knowing Jesus, three times. Fear of people’s opinions or their swords tend to do that. It diminishes God’s power and messes with our perspective, and then makes us unwise.

Luke records an interesting detail of Peter’s three denials. When the rooster crowed, “the Lord turned and looked straight at Peter” (Luke 22:61). Remember the first time Jesus gazed at Peter was when they first met (John 1:42) when followers were gathering around this Messiah. Jesus saw Peter’s potential underneath his rough exterior and called him a rock. Now, on a cold night years later, as disciples are scattering and abandoning this Messiah, Jesus again gazes into Peter’s soul. And Peter leaves and weeps bitterly (Luke 22:62).

  1. If Jesus stood before you right now and gazed into your eyes, what do you think he would see?
  2. Knowing that your heart is laid completely bare before him, how would you feel about being in his presence? Why?

Restoration: Mark 16:7; 1 Corinthians 15:5; John 21:15-17
Peter’s denial of Jesus was dramatic and devastating. Perhaps more than any other disciple besides Judas, he failed. Not only did he abandon Jesus in a crisis moment, he vocally disowned him. His confidence in his complete faithfulness had proven unfounded.

In at least three instances, Scripture provides a glimpse of God’s mercy toward Peter after his failure.

First, there is a small but important mention of Peter in Mark 16:7. When three women arrive at the tomb to anoint Jesus’ body, an angel tells them Jesus has risen and then gives them instruction: “Go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’” Clearly, God had plans.

Next, Peter is apparently the first disciple to see Jesus after the resurrection, alone. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:5 that Jesus first met with Peter before meeting with the rest of the disciples, as though the two of them had an important matter to discuss apart from the group.

Finally, toward the end of John’s gospel, Jesus appears to the disciples on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. Three times (John 21:15, 16, 17), perhaps once for each denial, he asks Peter if he loves him. Peter takes advantage of the opportunity to counter each of his denials with a confession of love and loyalty. He is not only forgiven but fully restored.

I wonder if Jesus is asking Peter if he loves him enough. I suppose it is one thing to love Jesus enough to believe in him, but it is a whole new level of commitment to love Jesus and do something about it. Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me?” and the response is affirmative, but if loving him is true, a command follows, “Then tend my lambs, shepherd my sheep and tend my sheep.”

  1. What’s the difference between forgiveness and restoration?
  2. Have any of your failures caused you to doubt God’s willingness to restore you? Why or why not?
  3. Under what conditions do you normally forgive someone? Is there any failure too great for you to forgive?
  4. Do you love God enough? I mean enough to risk getting out of your comfort zone and do something great for his kingdom?
  5. What might Jesus be asking you to do to demonstrate your love for him?

Only 40 Days to Live

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At the Men’s Breakfast last weekend, Terry Rae, Executive Director of Africa for Christ, gave a challenging talk, hitting the hearts of men. He asked a blunt question, “What would you do if you knew you had only 40 days to live?” I thought a hard sell evangelistic message was on the way, but I really appreciated the insight he shared directed toward men. He pointed our attention to Jesus, between his resurrection and his ascension… 40 days, and what Jesus did with the time he had left.

Jesus expressed love to people: he found Mary at the tomb and expressed love for her and the others. She did not recognize him at first; she thought he may be the gardener (John 20:14-16). How often do we not see those around us who are in need of an encouraging word, a thoughtful deed, or a random act of kindness? Men need to express love to those around them, especially to your wife and children. Rae said that the essence of love is giving. If we open our hearts to God’s love, then we will be able to receive it and share it with others.

Jesus healed broken relationships: Peter had denied Jesus in the temple courtyard, something he strongly denied he would ever do. Once the predicted event happened, Peter was in turmoil over what he had done (Matthew 26:33-34). After the resurrection, Jesus finds the disciples fishing and invited them to the shore for a little breakfast in Galilee. Peter was asked if he loved Jesus, three times, and he was able to be restored into good relationship with his Savior (John 21:15, 16, 17). What relationships do you have in our life that need extra attention and reconciliation?

Jesus left a memory box: As the two men were on the road to Emmaus, Jesus caught up to them and asked the topic of their discussion. They did not recognize Jesus all day, until the time of the evening meal, when Jesus took the bread and blessed it. Then they recognized their guest to be Jesus. The memory box was the Lord’s Supper, to be done as often as we remember the sacrifice of Christ (Luke 22:19, 1 Corinthians 11:24, 25). It is a memorial. For men, husbands and fathers… what will you leave to your family? What legacy are you building in your children? For what will your family remember of you after you’re gone? May I recommend a letter? This summer I intend to challenge each of us to become letter-writers; one each to your wife, children, parents and finally one to be left behind when you leave this world. I’ll share more about writing letters this spring.

Jesus spoke about the kingdom: He had a message of life after death, and he spoke about declaring this message throughout the whole world… it is called the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 1:8). We must also ask how we are personalizing this final word of Christ, and how we might help others to understand the reality of the Christian faith.

Jesus paid out debts: On a spiritual level Jesus sacrificed himself in order to bring salvation to a lost and dying world (2 Corinthians 5:20-21). Practically, how can we make sure what we leave behind to our family is debt free? I dare say this will also involve sacrifice of our personal desires for more toys and pleasures. We need to also pass on to our kids the passion to stay out of debt… a worthy goal having been through Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University! (see Proverbs 22:6, 7)

Next time I intend to address the issue of a father’s blessing on his children. Have a great week, our next get together is on Saturday, March 27 at 7:30.

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Ten Questions to Ask Your Wife

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Do an Internet search on the “ten questions” and you can find them listed, but here I can add some commentary! I was working at the home office of the International Mission Board when Dr. Tom Elliff came to be the Special Assistant to the President for Spiritual Formation (I doubt that title will even fit on a business card). Tom Elliff  is now former president of the IMB. Tom’s original position was a rewarding one for the staff. I remember hearing quality teaching, not only out of the Bible but also flowing out of his extensive life experiences as a missionary, pastor and teacher. On one occasion, during our Spiritual Emphasis Week, Tom shared these ten questions.

Since the Men of Steel are “in it to win it,” we intend to be the best husbands and fathers we can be, not working in our own strength but in the strength found only through our connection with Christ. The base line challenge today comes out of 1 Peter 3:7 where Peter says,

“…husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

Did you get that? Our relationship with God can be hindered by the way we treat our wives! You know, the Bible records that Jesus asked a lot of questions. So, it might be good for us to ask a few questions as well. These are the 10 questions we should ask our wives every year. Ask, and let her respond. The goal is to know her heart:

  1. What could I do to make you feel more loved and cherished? The emphasis is on feeling and not knowing. Think about verbal affirmation of your love. She knows you love her, but does she feel that you love her?
  2. How can I best demonstrate my appreciation for you, your ideas, and your role as my wife? We may speak to others about our wives being the “better half,” but do they feel that their ideas, concerns and input is really up to half in the relationship? Do you brag about her to others? What do her friends tell her about what they heard you say about her?
  3. What could I do to assure you that I hear and understand your heart? Maybe her answer might be, “Asking me these questions is a good start!” A lot of couples have very little understanding of the other. Often times we build walls around us to protect ourselves from pain or shame. We don’t want our wives to know the truth because deep down we believe they will respect or love us less if they only knew the truth.
  4. What could I do to make you feel absolutely secure? How do you protect your wife? Physically is one way, providing a safe place to live without fear, but how about emotionally, spiritually or even morally? Tom told us a story about a husband who was watching TV and the wife watched him watch TV. The point was, watching a television program is one thing, watching TV (flipping channels looking for stuff) is something else. Can our wives see our moral integrity and the marriage relationship going down for the count?
  5. What can I do to ensure that you have confidence and joy in our future direction? The key word in this question is “our.” Does your wife feel that you are both together looking forward to and building the future, or is she just following you? Each cannot be just “doing their own thing” and living under the same roof.
  6. What attribute or practice would you like me to develop or improve? Is there something in my life you would prefer I eliminated? Face it, life means always seeing the opportunity for improvement.
  7. What attribute would you like me to help you develop in yourself? How can I help you in the best possible way? Not all problems can be solved with words. She can now help you to get the picture! How can you be a true partner with your wife?
  8. What achievement in my life would bring you greatest joy to your heart? The Bible is filled with examples of people whose lives were not over until it was over; like Caleb and Joshua, the spies and the Promised Land. The goal kept these two going through 40 years of wandering. A husband needs clear and positive objectives for the second half of life. Nothing encourages a man more than the privilege of accomplishment.
  9. What would indicate to you that I really desire to be more like Christ? Perhaps a deeper prayer life, full commitment to learning the Word of God, sensitivity to sinful activity, elimination of bad habits, friends, practices, a life marked by the Holy Spirit (bearing fruit – Galatians 5:22-23), that Christ is running the show rather than you.
  10. What mutual goal would you like to see us accomplish? Marriage is not about me, it’s about us. How can we make the most of our time spent on this earth?

Tom and his wife set aside a weekend retreat each year. Will you commit to ask these questions of your wife?

PS: if wives are looking for ten questions to ask her husband, check out what Tom’s wife asks him every year.