Tag: Leadership

Profile of a Small Group Leader

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I feel that small groups are the key to developing people into fully devoted followers of Christ. They are the place where people make connections to God and to one another. The Great Commission is a command of Christ that is given to individual believers, not to the church at large (Matthew 28:18, 19, 20). If we really believe that, it is an insult to our faith if we don’t seriously ask the question, “What can I do to help fulfill the Great Commission?” I submit to you that nearly anyone can learn how to lead a small group.

The key is not to focus so much on the teaching part. We all feel inadequate to teach others the Bible concerning spiritual things; after all, we are all just sinners saved by grace, no one is perfect. But do not let that false humility keep you from obeying the commands of Christ. I feel the better role of a small group leader is that of a shepherd more than a teacher (read here about the difference). God uses our weaknesses to bring himself glory (1 Corinthians 1:25, 27, 4:10, 2 Corinthians 12:10).

So, here is a brief summary of what I expect out of a small group leader:

Purpose:

To host or facilitate a small group to love God, love others and make disciples.

Qualifications:

  • Has a heart for God.
  • Has a teachable spirit.
  • No addiction or moral issues (drugs, alcohol, cohabitation, etc.) that would set a bad example for others to follow or bring shame on the name of Jesus Christ.
  • No current marital struggles (i.e. infidelity, separation, divorce in process, etc.).

Commitment:

  • Will dedicate enough time to adequately facilitate the small group (average of three hours/week).
  • Will communicate updated group roster information to me (or a small groups coach).
  • Will participate in leader training meetings provided by KGBC.

Priorities:

  • Cultivate Relationships: Build a sense of community within the group through interaction, mutual prayer, and follow-up outside the group meeting time.
  • Promote Shared Ownership: Every group member should contribute to the group in some way (discussion leader, activity planner, follow-up calls, food, host home, etc.).
  • Identify Potential Group Leaders: Keep an eye out for others within the small group who may be candidates to host or lead a small group down the line.

Leaders and Decision-Making

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The organization is paralyzed with an indecisive leader. Indecision is caused by one thing: fear. In leadership, passivity is not an option.

Steps to decision-making:

  1. Take time to see the impact of the decision.
  2. Procrastination can be avoided by setting a self-imposed deadline; nail it down.
  3. Write it on the calendar and be ready to pull the trigger.
  4. Gather options, then gather more options. 90 percent of making the correct decision is gathering information.
  5. Train your team to bring you several solutions, not just the problems. Options and walking through worst-case scenarios can help eliminate fear.
  6. What do your guiding values tell you about this issue? (Golden Rule, ethics). Don’t let your principles change, change your processes.
  7. Who are the people impacted by the decision? Don’t be a respecter of persons; treat kings and sinners alike.
  8. There is a way to minimize risk by making bite sized decisions; test before a full launch.
  9. What are the financial implications of the decision? Never go all in and bet the bank.
  10. Decisions are liberating because you don’t have to carry the burden of questions.
  11. Decisions are a form of confrontation and sometimes instigate confrontation. Confrontation is best served fresh and get it over quickly.
  12. Principled people are forced to recognize evil, inequity and integrity problems, and act against evil.
  13. Ask the experts (someone who has done it lately, not someone with an opinion); find several people who know more than you.
  14. Ask your spouse.
  15. All else fails, write yourself a report describing the problem, the solutions and time-line.

Never quit when God calls you:

As a boy, Prime Minister Winston Churchill was told he would never amount to anything. If he quit, we would all be speaking German right now. His “never give in” commencement speech in October 1941 (see the closing remarks).

Opening Remarks: Almost a year has passed since I came down here at your Head Master’s kind invitation in order to cheer myself and cheer the hearts of a few of my friends by singing some of our own songs.

Body of the Speech: The ten months that have passed have seen very terrible catastrophic events in the world–ups and downs, misfortunes, but can anyone sitting here this afternoon, this October afternoon, not feel deeply thankful for what has happened in the time that has passed and for the very great improvement in the position of our country and of our home?

Why, when I was here last time we were quite alone, desperately alone, and we had been so for five or six months. We were poorly armed. We are not so poorly armed today; but then we were very poorly armed. We had the unmeasured menace of the enemy and their air attack still beating upon us, and you yourselves had had experience of this attack; and I expect you are beginning to feel impatient that there has been this long lull with nothing particular turning up!
But we must learn to be equally good at what is short and sharp and what is long and tough. It is generally said that the British are often better at the last. They do not expect to move from crisis to crisis; they do not always expect that each day will bring up some noble chance of war; but when they very slowly make up their minds that the thing has to be done and the job put through and finished, then, even if it takes months – if it takes years – they do it.

Another lesson I think we may take, just throwing our minds back to our meeting here ten months ago and now, is that appearances are often very deceptive, and as Kipling well says, we must “…meet with Triumph and Disaster. And treat those two impostors just the same.”

You cannot tell from appearances how things will go. Sometimes imagination makes things out far worse than they are; yet without imagination not much can be done. Those people who are imaginative see many more dangers than perhaps exist; certainly many more than will happen; but then they must also pray to be given that extra courage to carry this far-reaching imagination.

Closing Remarks: But for everyone, surely, what we have gone through in this period, I am addressing myself to the School, surely from this period of ten months, this is the lesson:

Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never, in nothing, great or small, large or petty, never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

We stood all alone a year ago, and to many countries it seemed that our account was closed, we were finished. All this tradition of ours, our songs, our School history, this part of the history of this country, were gone and finished and liquidated.

Very different is the mood today. Britain, other nations thought, had drawn a sponge across her slate. But instead our country stood in the gap. There was no flinching and no thought of giving in; and by what seemed almost a miracle to those outside these Islands, though we ourselves never doubted it, we now find ourselves in a position where I say that we can be sure that we have only to persevere to conquer.

You sang here a verse of a School Song: you sang that extra verse written in my honor, which I was very greatly complimented by and which you have repeated today. But there is one word in it I want to alter – I wanted to do so last year, but I did not venture to. It is the line: “Not less we praise in darker days.”

I have obtained the Head Master’s permission to alter darker to sterner. “Not less we praise in sterner days.”

Do not let us speak of darker days: let us speak rather of sterner days. These are not dark days; these are great days, the greatest days our country has ever lived; and we must all thank God that we have been allowed, each of us according to our stations, to play a part in making these days memorable in the history of our race.

Quotes:

  1. Aristotle said there is only one way to avoid criticism; do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
  2. Carl Jung said that error is just as important a condition of life’s progress as truth.
  3. Ask yourself, “is this something Jesus would do?”
  4. Get the opinion of someone outside the problem. If you can’t see the forest for the trees, call a lumberjack.
  5. Where there is no counsel, the people fail (Proverbs 11:14).
  6. God will guide with his counsel (Psalm 73:24).
  7. Jim Rohn said that indecision is the greatest thief of opportunity.
  8. A double-minded man is unstable in his ways (James 1:8).
  9. Fear of decision will get you killed, think of that squirrel in the road.
  10. Seth Godin said that when you fall in love with the system (religion) you lose the ability to grow. He also said that the secret to being wrong isn’t to avoid being wrong.

Team Addition and Subtraction

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Proper hiring creates a good team; and a good team lowers turnover. Team members leave or are let go because they should not have been hired in the first place. Take time to fill positions. Turnover is expensive in lost productivity and morale within the team.

When posting jobs, give enough information for candidates to rule you out before wasting your time. Word your posting in such a way to attract the personality and character you want. Never sell the job, always have the opportunity that is available; people desire work that matters.

If the person is all about money and benefits, they won’t last long on your team, you will never satisfy them. Listen more than speak. Never hire with only one interview. Working for a Christian company is not a code for lazy.

Twelve Steps to Hiring:

  1. Pray – God must send the right people.
  2. Key Results Area – describe what winning looks like in your company.
  3. Resume – they’re useless, unless you use them to start a conversation.
  4. Personality test – DISC is a good tool.
  5. Do you like them? Lot of talent is not good enough.
  6. Do they light up when they talk about the position?
  7. Compensation calculation, policy, benefits review.
  8. Personal budget – so they know they can live on the salary you are offering?
  9. References – they are useless, unless you do the phone interview.
  10. Spouse interview – this will change your life.
  11. Mission statement (company and personal) – Dave’s company doesn’t sell books, they sell hope.
  12. 90-day probation for the company and the person.

When team members fail:

Team members have to perform in the company or they have to leave.

Determine the root of the performance failure:

  1. If the problem is your leadership, fix it.
  2. Did you hire someone who didn’t fit the position?
  3. Were they given the tools to win?
  4. Were you there to mentor them?
  5. Were the objectives clear?
  6. Were conflicts unresolved?

When the problem is personal: quantify (child with the flu is different from child with cancer).

  1. Can you tolerate the poor performance until the problem passes?
  2. Do you need to bring in a professional to help?
  3. Does the personal problem put the company in jeopardy?
  4. Does the team need extra support while the recovery occurs?
  5. There must be incremental progress or they need to go.
  6. Make errors on the side of giving too much grace.

When the problem is incompetence:

  1. Use the Golden Rule, treat them gently.
  2. Incompetence is not evil; we are all incompetent at something.
  3. Can incompetence be solved with mentoring or education?
  4. Is the incompetence a character issue?
  5. Is there an integrity issue?
  6. Is the character issue laziness?

Steps toward resolution:

  1. Is a reprimand in order? This is a frank discussion of the performance shortfall and your analysis of the lack of performance.
  2. A good reprimand is short, uncomfortable for everyone, the problem is attacked (not the person), done in private, and is gentle.
  3. One Minute Manager: sandwich method (praise, hit, praise).
  4. Attack the problem but reaffirm the person.
  5. Deal with conflict or it will build.

Firing:

  1. They will be asked to leave immediately when there is a moral or integrity failure.
  2. Deal with them carefully, prayerfully, over time and never in anger.
  3. The issue causing you concern should be the subject of frequent reprimands.
  4. Reprimands should become increasingly formal with clearly defined changes required.
  5. The last reprimand must be in writing with deadlines of performance.
  6. It must never be a surprise as to why someone was fired.
  7. Some people will become aware that they do not fit the organization, and they leave on their own.
  8. Sanctioned incompetence demoralizes the rest of the team.
  9. You must have the courage to pull the trigger when it is time for someone to leave.
  10. Seth Godin says, “defending mediocrity is exhausting.”

The Finances of an EntreLeader

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Financial Peace University is mainly for individuals and families but the principles apply to business as well. There must always be a budget, and money is kept in separate accounts (personal vs company). At least 25 percent also must be set aside for taxes, in a separate account that will not be touched.

Debt: The borrower is always a slave to the lender (Proverbs 22:7)

  1. Borrowed money always increases risk.
  2. Borrowed money always magnifies mistakes.
  3. Borrowed money always hurts and even destroys cash flow.

Myths about Finances, Debt and Credit:

Myth: Borrowed money is needed to start or expand a business.
Truth: Starting or expanding gradually increases cash flow and reduces risk. Dave reminds us that the tortoise always wins. Build your business with a crock pot rather than a microwave.

Myth: A line of credit is needed to cover cash flow fluctuations.
Truth: Cash flow fluctuation can be predicted with forecasting and budgeting, and having cash saved will help cover your needs. If you have a seasonal business you can plan for fluctuations in cash flow, and still not go into debt.

Myth: A credit card is needed for online and phone purchases and travel.
Truth: A debt card will do everything that a credit card will do, except create 18% debt.

Myth: A credit card will help me keep my expenses organized.
Truth: Use an accounting system, so a debit card does the same thing.

Myth: Large purchases require a business to use a credit card.
Truth: Avoid risk and mistakes by renting, outsourcing, buying used and paying cash.

Kids and allowance? Children learn about welfare with an allowance but they learn about a paycheck when they work. When the son comes to you and says he needs money, Dave says that he doesn’t need money, you need a job.

Never by anything that is not designed to make a profit. Don’t rationalize your wish list. Never purchase anything because you think you need a tax write-off. It’s a myth.An item that costs $10,000 that is an allowable deduction saves someone in a 30 percent tax bracket $3000 in taxes. So buying something that isn’t needed is like trading $10,000 for $3000. If your CPA suggests buying something you don’t need purely for the write-off, fire them.

Dave says that 60 percent of all small businesses start up with $5000 or less. Never make your decisions based on fear. Caution is OK, because that can bring peace.

In Good to Great, the author advises that we get the write people on the bus, then get the right people in the right seats on the bus.

A worthy goal in business is to shamelessly make money to benefit others. Churchill said that we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. In a book called, Thou Shalt Prosper, the author says that business is serving; work is a higher calling.

Dreams, Visions and Goal Setting

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Dreams are wishes that seldom happen. Life does not hand you your dreams. Dreams can only become a reality when they become a part of your vision. The leader must do something about his dreams and vision. You must also cast your vision to others if your vision is big enough. If there is no vision, the people scatter (Proverbs 29:18).

Helen Keller said the most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but no vision.

Vision that is ready to go to work is called a goal. A great Scripture on reaching your goal is 1 Corinthians 9:24, 25. Dave Ramsey says that opportunity knocks at your door wearing overalls.

From your vision and goals to have long-term positive impact, they must include goals for: Career, Financial, Spiritual, Family, Intellectual, Physical, and Social. Imagine each area as a piece of the pie. Ziglar calls it the wheel of life.

Gossip: talking to someone about something or someone who is not in a position to fix it.

Plan on problems: you are employed to solve problem, or you are not needed.

Goals are bite-sized visions: Goals convert vision into energy. You cannot be vague with your goals. Do the activity that brings the results (like a salesman making 30 calls a week is the base line). You cannot reach the goal if you do not do the work.

Goals work SMART if they are:

  1. Specific: create precise behaviors and outcomes, linked to rate and frequency. Each objective must have only one desired outcome.
  2. Measurable: too “improve” is far too vague, mention steps toward the desired outcome.
  3. Achievable, and yours (not someone else’s goals): stretch, but make it reasonable.
  4. Results oriented: and in writing
  5. Time bound: when will the results be expected?

Break everything down into smaller parts and time frames.

For your team to have goals, you must have goals. Sharing goals and selling goals is called casting a vision. Shared goals create communication and unity. A positional leader pushes you into goals (go make your quota), while a servant leader pulls you into goals. Goals for a team are shared when they are developed together. Individual team members cannot have goals dictated to them; instead, help people to develop their own goals.

Management by objectives: when team members set goals within general company guidelines. Coach Carter (the movie) said that if you have no vision to college, you cannot win a national championship. Napoleon said that leaders are brokers of hope. Ziglar said that if you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time. Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.

We can spend a ridiculous amount of time avoiding the things that are outside of our comfort zones. The movie, Castaway, shows us there is a sin of losing time. Steven Covey (the 7 Habits guy) has an interesting matrix on establishing priorities:

If you don’t do Q2, you will always move to Q1. Recognize that you are being productive when you are in Q2. Scott Peck said that “until you value yourself, you cannot value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything about it.” Good verses (Proverbs 16:9, Isaiah 30:1). If the leader must ask “where do I start?” you have not broken the goal into measurable action plans (like if I want to drive home, what do I do first?).

Leaders and Entrepreneurs

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I was able to participate in a one-day Dave Ramsey event back in November 2010; held at Regent University here in town. I wanted to pass on a few of my notes, which by the way, helps me to review and remember all that great information. If you have ever been to a Ramsey event, he is high energy and quite entertaining.

It Began with Definitions:

  1. Leader: Servant, humility, integrity, ethical, visionary, communicator, mobilizer, inspiring, perseveres, mentor, consistency, compassionate, faithful, confident, and decisive.
  2. Entrepreneur: Visionary, organized, inspired, mobilized, committed, focused, student/learner, bold, driven, creative, ambitious, risk taker, responsible, and tenacious.

A good leader brings others on board to cover over one’s own weaknesses. If you are not all these thing mentioned above, you suck as a leader. High quality people will follow a high quality leader.

  1. Leader: the one who rules, guides and inspires others.
  2. Entrepreneur: a person who organizes, operates and assumes risk for a venture.
  3. EntreLeadership: the process of leading to cause a venture to grow and prosper.

Organizations and teams are never limited by their opportunity; they are limited by their leader. The enterprise will never outgrow its leader. An organization is limited only by the leader’s capacity, intelligence, education, character, ability and vision. John Maxwell calls this the leadership lid.

To lead, the boss needs to understand the difference between positional power and persuasive power. The traditional model has a triangle with the point at the top, with a positional boss. The servant model has the point at the bottom with a servant leader. The servant-leader inspires and casts a vision while the other has authority because he “writes the checks” and “because I said so.” Anyone can be a boss, but not everyone can be a leader.

Patrick Morley states in The Man in the Mirror, that we as leaders should:

  1. Take divinely inspired risk.
  2. Depend upon God.
  3. Take responsibility.
  4. Expect opposition.

Passion: the one with passion cares deeply about the outcome. The most untutored person with passion is more persuasive than the most eloquent without. The movie Braveheart embodies the essence of passion; they fought with passion, and that no one could take away their freedom. He learned about leadership, it is not about the position. “They will follow you, not the nobility or leaders with the title.”

Zig Ziglar said that you get what you inspect, not what you expect. Upward mobility is dependent on downward availability.

The Conductor Illustration: A concert is not about the conductor, it’s about the music. The conductor doesn’t make a sound but makes it all come together. He empowers others to do what they were trained to do. Leaders must awaken the possibilities in other people, brighten their shining eyes. Success is defined by how many eyes are shining around me. Who am I if those around me are not shining?

The Christian Life is to be Shared

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I love the stories found in the book of Nehemiah. He was a brilliant example of leadership, devotion, prayer and faith. In the midst of difficult times he was able to motivate people in the direction that led to peace, strength and security. After inspecting the situation and seeing the city of Jerusalem in ruins, Nehemiah addressed the people:

But now I said to them, “You know very well what trouble we are in. Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire. Let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem and end this disgrace!” (Nehemiah 2:17)

Did you notice the words we and us in this verse? In order to motivate the people of Jerusalem to rebuild the wall, Nehemiah had to personally identify with their problem, their need, and their future. It was no longer their problem;  Nehemiah saw the broken wall as our problem. Imagine the kind of response Nehemiah would have received if he had said, “You folks have gotten yourselves into a bad mess. You know what you need to do? You need to rebuild that wall. If you need me, I’ll be in my office. After all, I wasn’t part of the problem. You people will have to get busy and do the work. Let me know how it turns out.”

Identifying with the problem encourages motivation.

When Lee Iacocca became chairman and CEO of Chrysler at the height of the auto giant’s problems in 1979, he knew he would have to ask employees to take a pay cut to keep the company out of bankruptcy. Although he persuaded Congress to guarantee the company loans, he was still deeply distrusted by Chrysler’s union members. He knew that he had to find a way to persuade these workers that he had Chrysler’s best interests at heart.

Iacocca called a meeting of key management and union executives. He announced that for the next year his salary would be $1. The plan worked. By sacrificing his own salary, Iacocca proved that he placed the welfare of the company over personal gain. He identified with the workers. He was saying, “We are in this together, and together we can make it through.” He knew that people will accept a lot of pain when everybody is going through the trial together. If the followers know that the leader is in with them, together they can move a mountain or, in Nehemiah’s case, rebuild a wall.

So Nehemiah did it right. Did you know the meaning of his name? Nehemiah means, “Yah (or God) comforts or encourages.” I see that the best leaders are not the ones who tell others what they need to do for the leader, but are able to inspire others to get done what is best for the people.

Not everyone was happy. Trouble arose from without and from within. Sanballat and his friends tried to stop the work, but without success (Nehemiah 4:1, 2, 7, 8, 16, 17, 20). Trouble from within was economic. Building the walls caused a labor shortage; farms were mortgaged, and high rates of interest were charged (Nehemiah 5:2, 3, 4, 5). Nehemiah said, “The thing you are doing is not good” (Nehemiah 5:9). He corrected the problem and even gave financial aid to those in need (Nehemiah 5:10, 11, 12, 1518, 19). Again Sanballat and other non-Jews made several attempts to lure Nehemiah away from the job and shut it down, but they failed (Nehemiah 6:2, 5, 6, 8, 10, 14). Nehemiah proved to be a person of strong will and unusual boldness. “So the wall was finished… in fifty and two days” (Nehemiah 6:15).

Application: In what ways can you identify with the people you lead? How can you say to them, “We are in this together?” Have you come to terms that not everyone will be happy and excited about your leadership? But notice that Nehemiah remained connected to God in the midst of trouble (Nehemiah 1:5-7, 8-11, 2:4, 4:4-5, 9, 15, 6:9, 12). He was a man of prayer and faith. The Christian life is to be shared, all of us are in this together. Leaders and followers are in this together. That is what the Bible calls koinonia, which is fellowship, or sharing a common life.

I like the model of leadership that Ken Blanchard has promoted all over the country, the Lead Like Jesus model, he says, “Great leaders lead like Jesus.” The essence of this style of leadership is servanthood; we are to be servant-leaders. I will be leading a small group on this in the spring of 2011.

Leadership is an influence process – any time you influence the thinking, behavior or development of another person, you are demonstrating leadership behavior. So if you are a parent, CEO, pastor, Sunday School leader, electrician, accountant, then you are a leader and following the greatest leadership role model only makes sense. We should desire to be a Jesus-like leader, where God is glorified, people are served, and organizations are more effective in impacting the world for the Kingdom of God.

Commercial: Over the next eight weeks, Skip and I will facilitate a John Maxwell video series called, “Developing the Leader Within You.” It is designed for all of us to become the leader that God intends for his children. We all have influence over others at some point throughout the day, let’s become the best leaders we can be. Click Here to get more information.

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Is Your Life in Balance?

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I read a book by a physician named Richard Swenson, The Overload Syndrome: Learning to Live Within Your Limits. Years ago I actually was able to be a part of a corporate retreat where Dr. Sewnsen was the speaker, talking about Margin in life. Perhaps you’re tired of running around wondering about what ever happened to your “spare time?” Do you dread going to work? Are your relationships strained from stress? Do you wish you could check into a hospital just to get some sleep?

Busyness. Stress. Overload. We all know the struggle of trying to handle the load of life in the American context. You don’t have enough time to do the things you have to, let alone those things you’d like to do. You feel tired, worn out, and burned out. These symptoms are signs that you’re suffering from a disease that affects millions of people, he calls it, The Overload Syndrome.

What can be done? A few of Swenson’s suggestions include:

  1. Make solitude a priority for resting and thinking.
  2. Deal correctly with possessions so they do not possess you.
  3. Combat media overload.
  4. Deal with information overload.
  5. Make wise choices.
  6. Lower expectations.
  7. Slow down and enjoy life.

I see much of our problem as being out of balance. Notice in this verse how Jesus grew in several ways:

Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and all the people. (Luke 2:52)

A balanced life is characterized by order, peace, and wholeness. The parts of our life are as they should be and where they should be. Each part of the balanced life gets the right amount of time and effort at the right time. It’s not giving each part of life the same amount of time that makes life balanced; it’s giving each part the necessary amount of time.

The life of Jesus is a great example concerning balance. Throughout his life, Jesus was under constant pressure. Friends and enemies pursued him, yet when examining his life as recorded in the Bible, we see that he never hurried, that he never had to play catch up, and that he was never taken by surprise. He managed time well, bringing it under control, because he knew the importance of balance. Jesus’ life was well rounded. According to the Luke passage, he grew intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially.

  1. Does your life reflect balance?
  2. Do you make time for intellectual growth? If you are too busy to read a book or engage in study that stimulates your mind, you are too busy.
  3. Do you make time for physical health? Many people burn out because of improper personal maintenance. Don’t be another fatality on the emotional highway. Take care of your physical self.
  4. Do you make time for your relationship with God? You always spend time with the ones you love. 
  5. Do you feel too busy for prayer, Bible study, meditation, or personal devotion? Psalm 46:10 can be translated, “Take time and know that I am God.” The question is, “Will we do it?”
  6. Do you make time for primary relationships? Is adequate time provided for your spouse, family, and friends?

Only you can answer those questions honestly, and only you can take the necessary steps to bring order, harmony, and balance back in your life. Why not start today?

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Connectors Live What They Communicate

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When someone new steps up into a leadership position, the people have hope. They will listen, believe and follow, but this honeymoon does not last long. Here’s how it works: the first six months, communication overrides credibility; the next six months, credibility overrides communication. Credibility is currency for leaders and communicators. With it they are solvent, without it they are bankrupt. Think of elected officials and you might see this in action.

The Truth Test: Steven Covey said, “Trust earns confidence” because trust erases worry and frees you to get on with other matters. Low trust allows for others to have hidden agendas. Lack of trust inhibits innovation and collaboration. Lack of trust will disconnect you form others quickly.

You Are Your Message: Eventually who you are will shine through. You must become the kind of person you seek to connect with.

Connecting with yourself: If we are uncomfortable with who we are, others will not be comfortable with us. If we don’t know our own strengths and weaknesses, attempts to connect with others will misfire. A spiritual gift inventory is a great tool to know yourself.

Self-talk is a powerful influencer of what we believe about our selves. If we are critical and negative in our self-talk, we cannot be confident with ourselves or with others.

Right your wrongs: How do you maintain credibility when you make a mistake? It depends on how you handle mistakes. Failure to admit mistakes causes the message to be questioned which causes the integrity of the leader to be questioned.

  1. Acknowledge: You own people an explanation when you make a mistake
  2. Apologize: It may be a painful moment but it is the right thing to do. Apologize as wide as the infraction. Get the incident behind you.
  3. Amends: Make it up to the people you have wronged.

Be accountable: Deliver on your promises. When you make a commitment, you create hope. When you keep a commitment, you create trust. We often need accountability in the areas of our weaknesses.

Lead the way you live: You cannot speak about that which you do not know. You cannot share that which you do not feel. You cannot translate that which you do not have and you cannot give that which you do not possess. Where some see a message as a lesson to be given, connector see the message of a life to be lived. For connectors, the message is an extension of who they are. You have to be what you strive others to be.

Tell the truth: Edward R Murrow once said, “To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; to be credible we must tell the truth.” Credibility is not perfect but a willingness to admit to imperfection.

Be vulnerable: We often think that the teacher is to have all the answers; and we want to believe that and not appear weak. We all know that perfection is a mask, and we don’t trust people hiding behind these masks. They are not being honest with us and therefore are not connecting. Do we really think that people don’t already know our weaknesses? They do, and by admitting them you are letting others know they you know your weaknesses. We only win when we take chances; the hardest risk is being honest with ourselves.

Follow the Golden Rule: Maxwell writes that some organizations are like a tree full of monkeys. If you’re on the top looking down, all you see is smiling face looking up at you. If you’re on the bottom, the view is not so pretty. People can learn a lot by observing what leaders do with their power; when they interact with others who don’t have power, position or strength. The Golden Rule challenges us to treat others as we would want to be treated.

Deliver results: Peter Drucker once wrote, “Communication always makes demands. It always demands that the recipient become somebody, do something, believe something, it always appeals to motivation.” Connectors encourage others to deliver results. To expect results from others, we must deliver results ourselves. This may be the consultant syndrome. Some have never really accomplished in what they profess to be an expert. They sell a promise without a track record.

Summery:
Connecting Practice: Connectors live what they commutate.
Key Concept: The only way to keep connecting with people is to live what you communicate.

Practical Steps:

  1. Does you character emphasize that you have to teach, or does it undermine it?
  2. Do you follow through on your commitments?
  3. Where to you need to improve?
  4. Are you doing what you ask your students to do?
  5. Does your track record support your teaching?
  6. Can your students depend on you to follow through on your promises?

Connectors Inspire Other People

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Bill Hybels once said, “Motivated employees are 87 percent less likely to leave an organization compared to an unmotivated employee.” There is no doubt that everyone benefits from motivation. Think back to a teacher or coach who inspired you to something greater. The fact is that some people inspire us more than others do.

It all Adds up to Inspiration: As someone begins to communicate with them, people ask questions. They want to know what’s in it for them. Maxwell gives an Inspiration Equation:

What they know + What they see + What they feel = Inspiration

What People Need to Know: When non-connecting teachers think about what their students needs to know, they focus on information. Maxwell states that in the context of connecting, people need to know you’re on their side. Aristotle wrote about pathos, a communicator’s ability to connect with the feelings, desires, wishes, fears and passions of their listeners.

That you understand them and are focused on them: No one is inspired by people who are concerned about themselves. Self-centered people don’t generally connect with others. Good connectors get to know their students. They need to know that you are for them and in their corner. People do things, like making changes in their lives, for their own reasons, not for the reasons of the teacher.

Maxwell writes that a gossip is someone who talks about others, a bore talks about himself, but a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself. What are people thinking? What are their dreams? About what do they worry?

  1. What are people saying? The most called upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear. Good leaders are good listeners. Maxwell has this pattern: listen, learn then lead.
  2. What are people doing? Watch them and their behavior; including their body language.

That You Have High Expectations of Them: Abraham Lincoln once said of a sermon that it was brilliantly conceived, biblical, relevant and well presented; but it failed because it did not ask us to do something great. Inspiring communicators always expect a lot from their students. Maxwell says that management is about getting people to do what they do not want to do, while leadership is inspiring people to do what they never thought they could.

What People Need to See: If these are not present, people will simply turn you off.

  1. Your Conviction: Conviction is something you cannot fake. If the teacher does not have conviction about his subject, why should the students?
  2. Your Credibility: When people trust you, they will listen to you. If you walk does not match your talk, credibility will be lacking.
  3. Your Character: They need to see evidence of your character. A mediocre teacher tells, a good teacher explains, a great teacher demonstrates. As teachers and leaders we must strive to be the message. Connecting has a lot to do with letting who you are influence everything you do. The decision of your students to listen every week is based on a deeper perception related to the teacher’s credibility.

What People Need to Feel: This is the most important factor in the Inspiration Equation. People may not remember what your said or what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel.

Your passion for the subject and them: Vision alone does not inspire change; it must be strengthened by passion. Your teaching will be nothing if it does not come from your heart. Teaching is not just going through the motions and showing up Sunday to lead the lesson. Ask these questions each week:

  1. Do I believe what I teach?
  2. Has it changed me?
  3. Do I believe it will help others?
  4. Have I seen it change others?

You will do more than light a fire under people, you will ignite a fire within them.

Your confidence in yourself and them: Passion motivates because the questions asked is, “Is it worth it?” People must also see your confidence and ask, “Can I do it?” If you don’t have confidence in a speaker, are you likely to follow that person?

Your gratitude for them: This may be the most neglected and least expressed virtue. Silent gratitude is not good for anyone. Matthew Henry once wrote in his diary about being robbed, “Let me be thankful first because I was never robbed before; second, although they took my purse, they did not take my life; third, because although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed.”

Action – Inspiration at the Highest Level: Often we encourage people, make them feel good, help them to feel confident, but they never more on toward action. Action changes lives.

Say the right words at the right time: Timing is often the difference between success and failure.

Give people an action plan: For most people, their knowledge far outweighs their follow-through. A motivational speaker wants you to feel good; while the motivational teacher wants you to do good. Make lists of what you have learned by using this ACT plan:

  1. Put an A next to the items you want to apply.
  2. Put a C next to the items you need to change.
  3. Put a T next to the items you need to teach to others.

Make a Commitment to Continually Inspire Others: One linguist notes that in 20 primitive languages, the word hearing and doing is the same word. Actor Will Smith once said, “The way I like to measure greatness is: How many people do you affect? In your time on earth, how many people can you affect? How many people can you want to make better? Or how many people can you inspire?” The true test of inspiration is action.

Summary:
Connecting Practice: Connectors inspire people.
Key Concept: What people remember most is how you make them feel.

Practical Steps:
Character, above all else, will make the greatest impression on people.

  1. A heart to serve.
  2. A person of good values.
  3. A helping hand.
  4. A caring spirit.
  5. A believing attitude.

People want to know what you have done, this adds credibility.

  1. That you can lead by example.
  2. That you will only ask them to do what you have done or are wiling to do.
  3. That you will teach them only what you have already done.
  4. That their success is more important than your success.
  5. That they will get credit for accomplishments.
  6. That you will celebrate their success.

Your students need to know that you enjoy being with them and want to help them; that you are a friend, that you are not perfect, but growing, that you are conversing with them, not talking down to them, that you believe in them and they can believe in themselves.