Tag: Isolation

Destructive Consequences of Porn

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Here is a post from Craig Gross, the founder and president of xxxChurch, which is too good to not pass on. He attributes this information to Jay Dennis:

26 Destructive Consequences Porn Viewing Has on a Man:

The following destructive consequences are the result of a Christian man viewing pornography. The A to Z format covers the wide range of negative results that porn has on a man who is a follower of Jesus.

Alienates You from God. You no longer feel close to God. You don’t experience the power of God. You no longer have the joy of your salvation.

Blinds You to the Consequences. It temporarily turns off your walk with God, your relationships with your wife, your children, and others. It blinds you to what is going to happen to you spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, vocationally, and relationally.

Creates Unrealistic Expectations. Men begin to think this is what every woman should look like and that this is what your relationships with your wife is to be like.

Distorts Your View of Sex. It makes you believe that sex is solely for the pleasure of a man and that women are simply objects to be used rather than God’s creations to be honored and respected.

Enough is Never Enough. Pornography has an escalating effect. Like a drug you need more and more to satisfy the lust. It takes you further down a destructive path and further away from peace, joy, and healthy relationships.

Freedom Over What You Think and Do is Lost. You become enslaved to your sinful thoughts which lead to sinful actions.

Guilt Comes Upon You After You Look at Porn, but the guilt is not enough to prevent you from doing it the next time.

Healthy Sexuality is Numbed Through Porn. Healthy sex is married sex only that includes regular sex, unselfish sex, and loving sex.

Isolates You, and makes you feel you are all alone and are the only one who struggles with porn and lust.

Jeopardizes Your Relationship With Your Wife or Future Wife (if you are single), your witness for Jesus Christ, and everything in your life that is important to you. You put it all on the line for pornography.

Keeps You In a Cycle Of Self Destructive Behavior. It may appear to medicate the pain in your life, but it only adds to the pain with more pain. Porn leads you to do things you never thought you would do. Sin will take you further than you want to go. It will keep you longer than you want to stay. And it will cost you more than you want to pay (Unknown Author).

Lust—Sexual Sinful Lust—Leads to Sexual Sinful Actions. Porn put in your mind is like putting fuel on the fire of wrong sexual desire resulting in destructive thoughts and actions.

Masks The Real Wound, that you are seeking to heal and makes things worse.

Never a Neutral Experience. You cannot look at porn and not be affected by it. That experience is always inconsistent with God’s Word.

Objectifies Women. It makes them a sexual object. Porn hijacks a man’s ability to see an older woman as a mother figure, a same-aged woman as a sister figure, and a younger woman as a daughter figure.

Porn Initially Brings a Very Short-Lived Pleasure, followed by pain and more pain.

Quitting Becomes the Struggle of a Lifetime. Once you allow porn in, there is a raging battle with Satan and your old nature to keep looking. Once you have allowed porn into your life, there will always be a battle. It is a winnable battle, but a daily battle.

Remains Imbedded in Your Mind Forever. Satan uses that image to replay in your mind to create a cycle of sinful lust again and to drive you back to looking at porn. You become bound to an image and a not a person.

Shame Enters Your Life. Guilt is feeling badly for something you have done, shame, however, is based on feeling badly about who you are. Pornography brings shame. God never brings shame. Satan always brings shame.

Trust Is Broken With, the people you love and respect the most.

Unlocks the Door to Every Sexual Sin. Porn is a portal, a gateway that leads to nothing good and everything painful such as compulsive masturbation, affairs, dangerous sexual practices, visiting adult-oriented businesses, paying for sex, perverted sexual practices and sexual abuse.

Violates Women. How? You are putting your stamp of approval on an industry that degrades and dehumanizes women.

Wandering Eyes Toward Other Women are Invited .

Xtinguishes Truth. Pornography promotes lying. You lie to others, you lie to God, and you lie to yourself. You lie more to cover up past lies. You become a living lie.

Yokes You to an Image. You become bound and attached to the image instead of your wife or future wife if you are single.

Zips Your Lips to Praising God, speaking about your faith, and telling others how they can experience God.

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American Men in Need

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It doesn’t take much to see that American men are in crisis. There’s little peace at home, no satisfaction in work, feelings of uselessness and discouragement are commonplace. The cry of the preacher (teacher) in Ecclesiastes sounds very familiar to us:

“Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!” What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? … I devoted myself to search for understanding and to explore by wisdom everything being done under heaven. I soon discovered that God has dealt a tragic existence to the human race. I observed everything going on under the sun, and really, it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind. (Ecclesiastes 1:2-3, 13, 14)

I found a good description of what seems to be happening to American men, husbands and fathers.

American men are confused. They’re confused over what it means and doesn’t mean to be a man. Every ten years, the model changes. For a while it was the John Wayne “tough guy.” Then it was the James Bond “womanizer.” Then the Phil Donohue “sensitive male.” Then the Michael Douglas “Wall Street climber.”

American men are friendless. The average man over thirty-five doesn’t have one close friend he can call in the middle of the night.

American men are sexually addicted. With the Internet making this addiction private, men spend more and more time in front of the computer staring at touched-up images of “perfect” women. And Christian men haven’t escaped this addiction.

American men are emotionally isolated. When asked what he’s feeling, the average guy will say either “good” or “bad.” The problem is, neither of these is a feeling. Men struggle with identifying and expressing their emotions in a healthy manner. Most funnel every emotion through anger. So whether they’re sad, scared, frustrated, fearful, or joyful, they still kick the cat when they get home.

American men are searching spiritually. In the midst of this gloomy picture of men, one thing is true: They’re looking for something beyond themselves to make sense out of the world they live in and the problems they face. For this reason, men need a place they can go to deal with life’s issues. They desire a place of safety and refuge where they can be who they are and accepted as they are. In his book, Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them, John Ortberg says that we’re all born with a tag on us that reads, “As Is.”

Lowes has a great slogan, “Let’s Build Something Together.” Building is in the male DNA, something indicates our quest, and together is what the church is all about. Men don’t have to go through this life searching all alone. There are answers to a better marriage, help in raising our kids and finding satisfaction at work. The Home Depot used to tell us that, “You can do it, we can help.” King’s Grant stands here with that same offer! That’s what King’s Grant and the Men of Steel can become, a Home Depot for men; encouraging, equipping, training, leading, reaching, uniting, practicing, impacting and sharing life together, for the kingdom’s sake.