Tag: Fathers

The Bible and Fatherhood

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The greatest commandment in Scripture is this: “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5). If we go back a couple of verses we read,

“So that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life” (Deuteronomy 6:2).

Following Deuteronomy 6:5, we read,

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).

Israelite history tells us that the father was to be diligent in instructing his children in the ways, works and words of the Lord for their own spiritual development and well-being. The father who was obedient to the commands of Scripture took this task seriously.

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

To “train” means the first instruction that a father and mother give to a child, (we would call this, early education). This training is designed to make clear to children the kind of life they are intended to live.

Paul gives a summary of instructions to the father, in both a negative and positive way.

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”(Ephesians 6:4).

The negative part of this verse indicates that a father is not to foster negativity in his children by severity, injustice, partiality, or unreasonable exercise of authority. The word “provoke” means “to irritate, exasperate, rub the wrong way, or incite.” This is done by a wrong spirit and wrong methods—severity, unreasonableness, sternness, harshness, cruel demands, needless restrictions, and selfish insistence upon dictatorial authority. This provocation will produce adverse reactions, like reducing their desire for holiness, or obedience, and making them feel that they cannot possibly please their parents. Wise parents seek to make obedience desirable and attainable by love and gentleness.

The positive part of Ephesians 6:4 is expressed in a comprehensive direction—educate them, bring them up, develop their conduct in all of life by the instruction and admonition of the Lord. This is the whole process of educating and discipline. The word “admonition” carries the idea of reminding the child of faults (constructively) and duties (responsibilities).

The Christian father is really an instrument in God’s hand. The human father should never present himself as the ultimate authority in determining truth and duty. It is only by making God the teacher and ruler on whose authority everything is done that the goals of instruction can best be attained.

Instruction comes from the Lord, and is learned through Christian experience, and is administered by the parents—primarily the father. Christian discipline and instruction are needed to enable children to grow up with reverence for God, respect for parental authority, knowledge of Christian standards, and habits of self-control.

“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

A father’s first responsibility is to acquaint his children with the Bible. The father is charged to be faithful in role modeling what children learn about God, which will put them in good standing throughout their lives.

Application: Dads, it is so important for you to lead your children in the way they should go.

  1. While no dad is perfect, the goal for all of us is to take this leadership responsibility to heart. Do not abdicate this task to the mother. While she is a partner is the bringing up of your children, the father has tremendous influence over children.
  2. Is there a need for growth in the area of fatherhood? Study up on our heavenly Father and seek to conform to that image.
  3. Do you need to ask forgiveness for any failure in this area? talk about the need in your family and your desire to be the father your kids need.
  4. Pray and seek God together as a couple. Forgive each other. Encourage one another. You need to be the greatest advocate of your wife and she needs to be your biggest fan and supporter. A man needs respect, so commit now that you will earn it.

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The Son of a Pharisee

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It’s probably a verse you have come to know over the course of your Christian life. We quote it around Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and use it to remind parents of their responsibility to raise godly children; it does not happen just because we take our kids to church.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6

For the parents of the apostle Paul, these were not simply words of a short verse worth memorizing; they were the foundation of family life. In a Jewish home, it was not the job of the mother to teach spiritual things to the kids, it was the father’s responsibility, who learned it from his own father.

Philippians 3:5 tells us a bit of Paul’s early childhood: circumcised on the eighth day, a part of the children of Israel, the tribe of Benjamin, and even a “Hebrew of Hebrews.” The readers understood that Paul meant nothing but Jewish influence surrounded him in those early years.

The Code of Jewish Law states that “it is the duty of every father to train his children in the practice of all the precepts, whether biblical or rabbinical” and “to guard his children against any forbidden act.” Paul’s father took this responsibility very seriously.

Looking back through New Testament eyes, we tend to put Pharisees in a negative light, since Jesus had so much conflict with them and they ultimately schemed the crucifixion of Christ, but in the first century the Pharisees held a position of great honor. I wonder if Paul spoke from experience when he penned the words to the Ephesian church that fathers must not exasperate their children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

The Jewish historian Josephus (under contract with the Roman Empire) wrote the Jews lay greater stress on the training of children than on anything else; as one of the most important duties.

Being a Hebrew was not just about religion, or a way of life, but it defined who you were, how you thought and how you felt about life. It affected how you dressed (even the wearing of phylacteries – Exodus 13:9) to what you celebrated (the regular ritual and feasts).

So men, has there been a time in your life when you delegated the task of spiritual instruction to your wife, thinking that religious stuff was for women, or raising the kids is primarily woman’s work? I challenge you to make sure you rethink that position and learn from the life of Paul that religious instruction is the father’s role in the family. There is a phrase that should haunt each of us, “Like father, like son.”

While I don’t want to discount a miracle of God working in our kids lives, but how can we expect our children to mysteriously be right with God one day, or stand up for godly principles, if we ourselves are not right with God? We must model what a relationship with God is all about and train our kids in the way they should go. They might choose another path later on, but it won’t be for a lack of instruction on the father’s part when they were young.

So, what do you need to do to better model what a relationship with Jesus is all about? How well do you know the Bible and the teachings of Christ? Can you pass on the stories and teachings at appropriate times throughout the day, helping your kids know that Christianity is not just something we do on Sundays? Can you quote Scripture in front of your kids, and challenge them to memorize verses as well? How can you relate the teaching of the Bible to the struggles and situations in their daily lives? Have you set up a time each day to read Scripture, a devotional thought and pray? It’s never too late to get on the right path.