Category: Teaching

Unrelenting Battles and Unfinished Business

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Absalom is dead, David is being taken across the River Jordan, the land has just been through civil war, but feelings of jealousy are strong between Israel and Judah.

Unrelenting Battles:

In chapter 19 we smelled the smoke of trouble and now we see the fire. As the people begin to bicker (2 Samuel 19:41, 42, 43), they provide an opportunity for a worthless fellow, a slick troublemaker, to rise up (2 Samuel 20:1).

When Amasa, David’s new commander of the army, returned, Joab was waiting for him (2 Samuel 20:5, 8, 10). Joab just won’t clean out his desk and fade into the background. Power was so important to him that he would kill his own relatives (Amasa was Joab’s cousin – 1 Chronicles 2:16-17, and also David’s cousin – 2 Samuel 17:25).

  • What in the previous chapter fuels the fire of Sheba’s revolt? (2 Samuel 20:1, 19:41-43)
  • Why does David treat these concubines the way he does? (2 Samuel 20:3, 16:21-22)
  • Why does David bypass Joab (twice)? First with Amasa and then with Abishai? (2 Samuel 20:4-6)
  • What is it that galls Joab about Amasa’s appointment? (2 Samuel 17:25, 19:13)
  • From where comes the phrase, “I’ve got you by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin?” (2 Samuel 20:9, 10)
  • Here we find the first reference to rubber-necking in the Bible. (2 Samuel 20:12)
  • How does this unnamed wise woman bring peace and spare the city? (2 Samuel 20:16-22)

Personal Questions:

  1. Who do you know who risked everything by getting involved and it made a difference?
  2. At what point in your life have you ever felt the desire to revolt against your King?
  3. What kept you from going AWOL?
  4. When your status or authority is diminished or given to someone else, how does that make you feel?
  5. When resentment builds up, how do you keep that in check? Where might resentment be building in you right now?

Unfinished Business:

These events in chapters 21-24 are non-chronological, but they tie up the book as an appendix, taken from events earlier in David’s reign. There is a three-year famine in the land because of a broken vows made to God (2 Samuel 21:1). The Gibeonites were a sneaky bunch (Joshua 9) and eventually received protection from God’s people. An oath was made and God was holding them to it. Saul sought to destroy the Gibeonites and he and his sons paid the price for the father’s sins.

  • What caused this severe famine in the land? (2 Samuel 21:1, 2, Joshua 9:3-4, 9, 14, 15, 19, 20-23)
  • Saul whips the Gibeonites in his zeal but David seeks to uphold the vow, how does this show the difference between the two men? (2 Samuel 21:1, 2, 3)
  • How serious are we to take the vows we take? (2 Samuel 21:4, 7) How serious does God take a vow? Why would it please God to see Saul’s descendents executed? (2 Samuel 21:14) The sheer horror of what the Gibeonites do should help us see how serious God takes a vow (2 Samuel 21:9, 14).
  • Why does David spare Jonathan’s son yet allow the Gibeonites to kill the rest of the house of Saul? (2 Samuel 21:5, 7, 9)
  • Rizpah pulls several “all-nighters” (April to October), but what does she hope to achieve?

Personal Questions:

  1. How do we see natural disasters in the land today? Do we ever see them as God’s judgment?
  2. How are we to react when treaty rights are violated?
  3. How casually does our society take making a vow or an oath? (True Love Waits, marriage, promises, an oath of office)
  4. When times get bad, how long does it take for you to seek the Lord? (2 Samuel 21:1)

Rather than continue in disobedience, God would have us repent and recommit. After David sought the Lord and dealt with the Gibeonites, so times of refreshing may come (2 Samuel 21:14). Regarding the bodies of Jonathan and Saul, the king had some unfinished business. They needed a proper burial (2 Samuel 21:11, 12, 13, 14).

What unfinished business do you have in your life? What old scores need to be settled in a Christ like manner? God’s weapons of love, mercy and forgiveness are more effective that guns and tanks. Who needs your forgiveness, acceptance, release? We will suffer as we allow unsettled issues to fester. It’s time for some battles to end. Rebellion leads to famine in our relationship with God.

Return of the King

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Absalom is dead, David is back in charge, and he needs to make his way back to Jerusalem. Today we need to take a look at forgiveness, starting over, getting back to where you belong, and rewards for faithfulness in 2 Samuel 19.

  • When have you felt motivated to ask for someone else’s forgiveness? Or to grant forgiveness?
  • Over the past year, have you received more favors or granted more favors?
  • In politics and sporting events, do you tend to support:
    • Whoever is ahead at the start?
    • Whoever is behind at the end?
    • Whoever’s victory favors you the most?
    • Whoever wins, that person was your choice all along?

Let’s dig into the text for today:

  1. If you had previously backed Absalom, why would you now reconfirm David as king? (2 Samuel 19:8-10) Notice that the king was once more accessible to the people (2 Samuel 19:8)
  2. What was the quarreling about? (2 Samuel 19:9, 10) Judah was hesitant about David’s return, perhaps because of the part they played in Absalom’s insurrection (2 Samuel 15:10-11)
  3. What is it about David’s appeal (2 Samuel 19:11-13) that secures your vote of confidence? What major change is listed in 2 Samuel 19:13? (David hopes to secure allegiance of those who followed Absalom and Amasa, especially Judah, but also the animosity of Joab for taking his position, 2 Samuel 20:8-10).
  4. Why did the men of Judah come to Gilgal? (2 Samuel 19:15)
  5. Why do you think Shemei behaves the way he does? 2 Samuel 19:16-20; 16:5-14
  6. Compare 2 Samuel 19:21 and 2 Samuel 16: 9. Abishai, Joab’s brother, was looking for a way to kill Shemei for what he did (2 Samuel 16:5-8).
  7. Shemei confessed his sin and is spared (2 Samuel 19:16) What eventually happens to him? (1 Kings 2:8, 9, 36-46)
  8. How and why does David’s response vary from Abishai’s? (2 Samuel 19:21-23, 16:9-12) What did David mean by his remark in 2 Samuel 19:22?
  9. How does Mephibosheth’s story line up with what Ziba’s (2 Samuel 19:24-30, 16:3)
  10. Who do you find more credible, Mephibosheth or Ziba? Who does David believe, or does it matter? Name a time when you were totally misunderstood, or misrepresented.
  11. Why does David seek to reward Barzillai, to stay with David in Jerusalem? (2 Samuel 19:24-30) Why is that offer refused? (2 Samuel 19:34-37)
  12. What face-saving alternative is then proposed and accepted? (2 Samuel 19:38)
  13. As Chimham is singled out for a special favor, how would you feel toward your two benefactors? Who was this guy? (1 Kings 2:7, Jeremiah 41:17)
  14. Why are the men of Israel so upset? (2 Samuel 19:41-43) What’s at stake besides hurt pride? What is the problem between Israel and Judah? (Israel complained that Judah had kidnapped David from them. This hostility leads to the rebellion of Sheba and eventually the division of the kingdom (1 Kings 12:1-24).

Returning to a former relationship is not always easy. Switching to another side is not easy either. Going home isn’t always fun when infighting awaits you. David is still God’s chosen leader; he’s back in the Promised Land, and doing the right thing is not always the easy thing. Next week we will look at some unfinished business.

Traitors, Friends and Regrets

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The end of Absalom is getting closer… notice the correct advice of Ahithophel (2 Samuel 17:1-4), he urges Absalom to attack David’s troops immediately while David is still weary and weak. Then came the crafty advice of Hushai (2 Samuel 17:5-14, 23). He advises that the attack be delayed until a large number of soldiers throughout the land can be assembled, and then Absalom himself should lead them into battle (2 Samuel 17:11). Hushai’s plan is accepted, causing Ahithophel to go home and hang himself. This leads us to the main chapter for today.

  1. Why did David want to go into battle? (2 Samuel 18:2, 5)
  2. How has David benefitted from the delay in Absalom’s attack? (2 Samuel 18:1-2)
  3. Why didn’t Joab and the people want him to go into battle? (2 Samuel 18:3)
  4. What are David’s specific instructions to Joab? (2 Samuel 18:5)
  5. What do you make of the reoccurring phrase, “the young man, Absalom?” (2 Samuel 18:5, 12, 29, 32), perhaps the youthful rebel could still be forgiven.
  6. How do you think this sounded to Joab, Abishai, and Ittai? (2 Samuel 18:5)
  7. With all the betrayal going on, why does David trust these three generals? (2 Samuel 18:5)
  8. How did Absalom die? (2 Samuel 18:9, 14, 15)
  9. What irony do you see in Absalom’s getting hung up? (2 Samuel 18:9, 14:24, 25)
  10. How does the man reporting to Joab respond to Joab’s rebuke? (2 Samuel 18:11, 12, 13)
  11. What do you make of Joab disobeying King David’s order? (2 Samuel 18:5, 12)
  12. What does Joab’s treatment of Absalom reveal about him? (2 Samuel 18:14)
  13. What do they do with Absalom’s body (2 Samuel 18:17, 18) Notice the irony; a heap of stones and a monument to himself (similar to 1 Samuel 15:12). His death as a traitor remains far more memorable than his self-absorbed life. (Deuteronomy 21:20, 21, Joshua 7:26, 8:29)
  14. Why did Ahimaaz want to run back to David, and persist in his request? (2 Samuel 18:19, 22, 23)
  15. What did Joab fear if the truth be known? (2 Samuel 18:21, 31, 32), perhaps killing the Cushite was better than killing one of his soldiers.
  16. Why did Ahimaaz lie when he was in front of the king? (2 Samuel 18:29, 20, 29)
  17. What did David have on his mind when the got the word that they had won the war? (2 Samuel 18:24, 25, 26)
  18. Why is David so preoccupied with Absalom’s safety more than his own? (2 Samuel 18:29)
  19. Why did Ahimaaz waffle in his answer after being so eager about running to tell the king? (2 Samuel 18:28, 29)
  20. Why didn’t the Cushite just say, “Absalom is dead”? (2 Samuel 18:31, 32)
  21. How did David celebrate the victory? (2 Samuel 18:33) But David should have cried these tears long ago, intervening after the rape of his daughter.
  22. This section sends a chill up the spine of any parent. Death would be easier than a life without our children.
  23. How does David feel after Joab’s rebuke? (2 Samuel 19:5, 6, 7) Was Joab right in doing so?

Here are a few life application questions:

  1. Why do you believe that our King is worth ten thousand of us? (2 Samuel 18:3)
  2. These men were pawns in the hands of King David, what will you do tangibly to demonstrate your belief that Jesus is absolutely worthy of our sacrifice?
  3. What news or information or sin are you hiding from the King? What will bring this hidden truth into the light?
  4. From what enemies has God delivered you? Like David, what has preoccupied your mind from the reality of your current situation? What role does your faith and this small group play in your victory?
  5. Think back over this long story. How could David have avoided this eventuality?
  6. What regrets do you think David had at this point?
  7. What is the lesson of this story for our lives? What break in relationship is happening in your family right now? Act quickly to make reconciliation, before it all spirals out of control.

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Assurance of Salvation

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This section is part of a class that I am teaching called Discipleship 101, the Lost Art of Disciple Making, where we are going to cover the basics of the Christian faith. I have in my class those who have never been discipled as well as those who have been with Christ for a long time, but are seeking tools and strategies for helping or mentoring others toward becoming disciple makers.

This is a brief section of reasons to believe and trust, and several verses to look up, which is done easily on this site.

Assurance of Salvation
We find direct statements in God’s Word: John 5:24, 1 John 5:13, Titus 1:2

But can We Believe the Bible?
The Bible claims to be the Word of God: expressions in the Bible, like “and God said…” or “Thus says the Lord…” and “God spoke to Moses…” – Genesis 1:3, Exodus 20:1, Joshua 14:5, Luke 24:27, 44, John 10:35, Acts 1:16, 17:2, 2 Timothy 3:16, 2 Peter 1:21

The Bible is proved to be the Word of God.

  1. Unity: recorded over 1600 years, three languages, men and women from different countries and ages, with a unified message, it is one Book.
  2. Fulfilled Prophecy: hundreds of Old Testament prophecies about Jesus, the Jews, the Gentiles.
  3. Archaeology: always proves the Bible’s story, if it hasn’t, just wait.
  4. The Test of Time: through sword and flame, atheism and paganism, cold indifference and false prophets, it’s still here.
  5. Universal Demand: the world’s bestselling book.
  6. Denunciation of Sin: evil is never tolerated, but is dealt with openly, nothing in secret, characters are recorded as fallen, never perfect (Exodus 17:5-7, Numbers 20:7-13).
  7. Power to Change Lives: George Muller of Bristol, as an example.

The Witness of the Holy Spirit – Romans 8:16.

  1. What That Means:
    1. He is a Person, not a force.
    2. He is a Trinity, co-equal with the Son and Father.
    3. We are His temple, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, 1 John 4:13
  2. How This Happens:
    1. He is the believer’s teacher – John 14:26, 15:26-27, 16:12-15
    2. He is the believer’s comforter – John 14:16, paraclete, John 14:26, 15:26, 16:7
    3. He is the believer’s guide – John 16:13, to lead the way (Matthew 15:14), Romans 8:1, 14
    4. He is the believer’s helper and intercessor – Romans 8:16
  3. A New Life – Transformation, 2 Corinthians 5:17
    1. A new attitude toward sin: Romans 7:19-20, they hate it, a new heart.
    2. New desires and new friends: new primary fellowship, community and growth.
    3. Fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23, Matthew 7:20, Acts 4:13
    4. Assurance through Christian growth: Titus 3:5, Philippians 3:14, 1 Corinthians 3:11-15

Family Secrets

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This is a story of a dysfunctional family, passive parenting, sexual sin and cover up, revenge and murder; all the great stuff movies are made of, but this is real life for the family of David, found in 2 Samuel 13. Amnon rapes his half-sister, Tamar. Absalom avenges Tamar (his full sister) and flees to his maternal grandfather’s home. Then later, David permits Absalom to return to Jerusalem but bars him from the palace. David eventually meets with Absalom and is reconciled to him for a time.

Here are a few points or lessons that men are able to take away…

  1. We need to keep our sons away from, or at least discourage them from choosing “friends” that are no good for them, or will offer them poor advice (2 Samuel 13:3, 5).
  2. We need to walk the walk, because Absalom followed in his father’s footsteps; ploting to kill another person, and even bringing in other people to do our dirty work (2 Samuel 13:28).
  3. We need to protect out daughters from worthless men, and stand up for them when they have been wronged (2 Samuel 13:7, 20, 21).
  4. We need to spend time with our sons to get to know them and guide them in life (2 Samuel 13:5, 6), perhaps David did not spend much time even when he seemed to visit Amnon regularly.

Questions for your Consideration:

  • Whom did you consult regarding your love life back in school?
  • What was some of the worst advice, or best advice?
  • From what you know of blended families, what complicated love-hate relationships could occur?
  • How are blood ties stronger than anything else that binds a family?

The Main Characters in Our Story:

Tamar – A daughter of David raped by her half brother, Amnon (2 Samuel 13:14). The act was avenged by her full brother, Absalom, when he had Amnon murdered (2 Samuel 13:28, 29). These acts were part of Nathan’s prophecy that the sword would never depart from David’s house (2 Samuel 12:10).

Amnon – meaning, “trustworthy, faithful.” He was the firstborn son of King David (2 Samuel 3:2). He raped his half-sister Tamar. Tamar’s brother Absalom avenged this outrage by killing Amnon (2 Samuel 13:1-20). This incident marked the beginning of the decline of David’s family following his adulterous relationship with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah.

Absalom – meaning, “father of peace.” He was the third son of King David, who rebelled against his father and was murdered by Joab, David’s commander (2 Samuel 3:3; 13–19). Absalom apparently resented being ignored by his father and resented his brother Ammon going unpunished for raping Tamar, Absalom’s full sister. Being overindulged and ambitious, Absalom became the spokesman for the people (2 Samuel 15:1-6). They, in turn, gladly proclaimed him king in Hebron (2 Samuel 15:10), where David was first crowned (2 Samuel 2:4). Battle ensued. David left Jerusalem and sent his army to find Absalom but not to hurt him (2 Samuel 18:5), but Joab murdered him (2 Samuel 18:14). David’s lament over Absalom shows the depth of a father’s love over the loss of a son as well as regret for personal failures which led to family and national tragedies.

A few chapters from now, we will be reading of Absalom’s rebellion, civil war, and eventual death. As you read this passage look for how it all started.

Questions for Class This Sunday:

  1. How were Amnon, Tamar and Absalom related?
  2. How do you account for Amnon’s “lovesickness” regarding Tamar (2 Samuel 13:1-4)?
  3. At first blush, does this strike you as innocent “puppy love,” perverted, or what?
  4. Did Amnon have a choice as to whether or not to fall in love with Tamar?
  5. What advice does Jonadab offer to woo Tamar (2 Samuel 13:5)? Summarize Amnon’s scheme for getting Tamar?
  6. What was he thinking? What kind of good out come could he have possibly imagined?
  7. How does David unknowingly collaborate in the charade (2 Samuel 13:6-7)?
  8. Had David been visiting with Amnon regularly (2 Samuel 13:5)?
  9. Why did Amnon seek to deceive his father? How was Tamar’s statement about David (2 Samuel 13:13) a rebuke to this?
  10. What was Tamar’s suggestion? Was it a good one?
  11. How did attraction turn to hatred so quickly (2 Samuel 13:15)?
  12. Why does Tamar refuse to be banished (2 Samuel 13:16)? What greater wrong has she just experienced (Deuteronomy 22:28, 29)?
  13. How do you think Absalom knew (2 Samuel 13:20)?
  14. How does Absalom react to his sister’s rape, now (2 Samuel13:20) and two years later (2 Samuel 13:23, 28)?
  15. How does David respond? What did he feel? What did he do (2 Samuel 13:21)?
  16. Why does he not do what any self-respecting king and father would have done? Why did David do nothing but get angry? What should he have done (Leviticus 20:17)?
  17. Was it right what Absalom did?
  18. What did David do about what Absalom did?
  19. What character flaw in David do you see from this story? How might David’s character and credibility have been compromised (2 Samuel 11:4, 15, 12:9, 10, 11)?
  20. What can hyper-passivity cost us?
  21. Why do we sometimes slip into passivity when we need to take action?

Personal Meaning from This Lesson:

  • When someone wrongs you or someone close to you, what is your typical reaction? Does your reaction look more like that of David, Tamar or Absalom?
  • In what ways have you been impacted by sexual sins in the past (yours or another’s)?
  • How have you managed to control the damage? Forgive the sinner? To be forgiven?
  • Who have you ended up hating when you started out loving? How do we account for this total and sudden reversal in the relationship?
  • How can you be more reconciled with this person in your past?
  • As a parent, how do you evaluate your present example for future generations?
  • How do you identify with “David the dad” in this passage?

If We Have Time:

  1. How did Absalom arrange for Amnon’s death?
  2. Why does Absalom ask David, his officials and his sons to join him (2 Samuel 13:23, 24, 25)?
  3. Why was sheep-shearing a big event (1 Samuel 25:7, 8)?
  4. If you were David or Amnon, would you be suspicious of Absalom’s invitation (2 Samuel 13:26, 27)?
  5. Why is revenge still on Absalom’s mind? What is significant about the timing (“two years later” or when “he was in high spirits”)?
  6. What do you think of his tactics? How parallel are these tactics like Amnon and Jonadab two years earlier?
  7. Over whom was David mourning after the first report (2 Samuel 13:30)? The second report (2 Samuel 13:32, 33)? The third report (2 Samuel 13:35)?
  8. Where does Absalom go (2 Samuel 13:37, 3:3)? What might he get from his grandfather that he dare not ask for from his father?

Application:

  • How has conflict affected your family and relatives? What long-term grudges have taken their toll on your family?
  • With whom are you not on good speaking terms right now?
  • How can you bury the hatchet instead of using one?
  • From what hurts do you feel like running away? Where would you go?

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Did That Just Happen?

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Men, if you’re like me, you catch the news fairly regularly.  Then perhaps you’ve heard about or seen Kanye West’s wildly inappropriate outburst at the MTV Video Music Awards. This is not what you would call a great career move, but I guess the silver lining for Kanye is his honorable mention in the Urban Dictionary for September 17 (be warned that the language on that site is appalling):

Imma let you finish [eye-ma-let-yoo-fin-ish]:

1. Obnoxious way to interrupt someone and steal their moment, while wryly mocking that media train wreck that is Kanye West.

Based on West’s instantly infamous interruption of Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards for Best Female Video with his insane microphone-stealing shout out to Beyonce.

Bob: Thank you Mr. Brown for having us in to give this sales presentation. We’d like to talk to you today about…

Alfred: Yo, Bob, I’m really happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but I just got to say our product is one of the best products there is!

I guess West did let Taylor finish…sort of, but the cool part was the moment Beyonce recognized Swift and gave her a chance to have her moment of glory.

Have you ever been completely and rudely interrupted? I’m thinking that most of us can relate, but how about being interrupted during an extremely important moment in your life by someone who obviously doesn’t care about you or your mission at that moment?

Think about it…have you ever stopped to take time to pray, and suddenly your thoughts are bombarded with anxiety or unpleasant memories? Or have you planned your devotional time to read the Bible, and suddenly the phone rings, or you remember something you just have to take care of first? What about sharing the gospel with someone and then other people start cutting into the conversation which distracts this person from hearing the best message on earth?

This is not a coincidence…we have an enemy (Satan, meaning, the adversary) who is completely dedicated to stopping any efforts on your part to connect with God, like through prayer and reading the Bible, and he is literally hell-bent on halting even a single word about Jesus Christ from escaping your lips.

Just check out a few descriptions of this from God’s Word:

    1. Satan, who leads the whole world astray… (Revelation 12:9).
    2. Satan disguises himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14).
    3. We wanted very much to come to you, and I, Paul, tried again and again, but Satan prevented us (1 Thessalonians 2:18).

      See what I mean? Satan just sits back and waits until you try to take the stage for Jesus Christ, then he jumps in and steals your microphone and your chance to glorify God.

      Oh get this – Satan doesn’t let you finish.

      Here’s the great news though. If you can see an interruption coming, you can usually prevent it or ignore it. When you know that spiritual disturbances are headed your way whenever you try to connect with God or share the gospel of Jesus Christ, you can be more prepared.

      First, recognize the interruption for what it is and take it to God. That way, what Satan meant for evil will actually focus your thoughts more on God! Pray something like: “Father, I know that what’s happening right now is an attempt to keep me from connecting with you. Please help me keep my thoughts and spiritual eyes focused only on You.”

      Second, resist Satan, and you can be sure of this promise: Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you (James 4:7-8).

      Here’s the way The Message version of the Bible puts it: Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time.

      Finally, refuse to give up. When you stop praying, you miss out on God’s peace and blessing. When you stop reading the Bible, you lose out on God’s truth and strength. And when you stop sharing the gospel, you trash the opportunity to lead someone to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

      Bottom line: stay the course, connect with God, read His word, and share your faith. Refuse to be interrupted and never give up. On Judgment Day, God will call you back on stage and you’ll hear the words from Jesus that are more valuable than any earthly praise: “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:21). Now that is how you should finish.

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      Another Moral Failure?

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      Over the past month, I have come across a couple of articles written by pastors reacting to a moral failure in a fellow pastor. My first reaction was disbelief. Leaving the theological and moral arguments aside, what pastor who is doing his job even has time for adultery?

      I read Chuck Swindoll just this morning, regarding occupational hazards in the ministry. He warns against four “occupational hazards” that can easily bring down people who serve the public as God’s representatives… silver, sloth, self and sex.

      Trace the reasons great men and women have fallen… search for the common threads in the tapestry of tragedies. You will find most often a breakdown in the realm of personal morality.

      It’s important for us to remember that a moral breakdown never occurs suddenly. It comes about slowly, almost imperceptibly, like a slow leak in one of your tires. Some things are tolerated that were once not allowed. We lose the edge… we begin to slip… we shrug it off and smile instead of facing the truth. Time passes. By and by, sneaky acts of disobedience slip in, but because they are hidden and rationalized, we deny how far we’ve drifted.

      It’s a slow fade into darkness. None of us would have this destination on our itinerary. Swindoll continues:

      Some time back I came across an excellent list of questions a small group of men regularly asked one another. Read the questions slowly. I think you’ll agree that they are on target.

      1. Have you been with a person of the opposite sex this week in an inappropriate way?
      2. Have you been completely above reproach in all your financial dealings this week?
      3. Have you exposed yourself to any sexually explicit material this week?
      4. Have you spent time daily in prayer and in the Scriptures this week?
      5. Have you fulfilled the mandate of your calling this week?
      6. Have you taken time off to be with your family this week?
      7. Have you just lied to me?

      Before you pass over it too quickly, answer each one for yourself. If you do it often, it will help you avoid the four pitfalls. All of them are addressed in those questions.

      Men of Steel, the statistics are against us; in America…

      • Ten out of ten of us are struggling with how to balance work and family.
      • Nine will have children that will leave the church.
      • Five will have a serious problem with pornography.
      • Four will get divorced; affecting over one million children.
      • Only one has a biblical worldview.

      We are in a battle for our souls, for our marriages, for our purity, for our children, for our integrity, for our witness in the world. Don’t let the enemy have a foothold in your life and don’t give the devil an opportunity (Ephesians 4:27). Don’t allow Psalm 69:2 to become a reality in your life.

      My Sunday Bible study lesson from this past week was about David and how he walked down the pathway of heartache with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). So on Saturday, let’s discuss where David went wrong.

      1. He was not where he was expected to be – 2 Samuel 11:1 (he was at home rather than in battle)
      2. He put himself in a vulnerable position – 2 Samuel 11:2 (he got up from his bed, opening himself to boredom and temptation).
      3. He failed to protect himself with a network of accountability – 2 Samuel 11:1, 4 (answering to no one; he grew accustomed to wanting and getting).
      4. He was lonely and made a plan, rather than falling into sin.
        • Sinned in thought – 2 Samuel 11:2
        • Sinned in word – 2 Samuel 11:3
        • Sinned in deed – 2 Samuel 11:4
      5. Could Bathsheba have prevented this from happening? This is a moot point to a man who is out of control.

      I look forward to seeing you all on Saturday at 7:30 in the Welcome Center, and then several of us are going to the Game Plan for Life with Joes Gibbs, randy Alcorn, Tony Evans and Ravi Zacharias, leaving at 8:30.

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      David was After God's Heart?

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      This Sunday we continue in the life of David with this somewhat humorous episode of what happens to David’s servants as they deliver condolences to the Ammonite king; then we will look at the wages of sin from the Bathsheba era in his life. 

      1. Why does David send his servants to Hanun, king of the Ammonites? 10:1-2
      2. How does Hanun treat the servants? 10:4 (too funny, we can laugh now, such a picture), but we can learn…
        • Lesson 1 – David shows active sympathy for the suffering, 10:2
        • Lesson 2 – David’s intentions were misunderstood, 10:3, 5
        • Lesson 3 – David is fiercely loyal and protective to his people, 10:5
        • Lesson 4 – David took on their enemy himself, sending Joab and his mighty men, 10:7
      3. What is the outcome of the inevitable battle? 10:13, 14
      4. Introduction:
        • What is your favorite springtime activity?
        • How soon do you believe people begin sunbathing in Virginia Beach?
        • Who was your “girl next door” or “big man on campus?”
      5. What significance do you see in the timing of David’s sin? 2 Samuel 11:1, 2
        • What was he supposed to be doing? 2 Samuel 11:1
        • What three specific actions did David take toward his sin? 2 Samuel 11:3, 4
      6. Where did David go wrong?
        • Lesson 1 – He was in the wrong place at the wrong time 2 Samuel 11:1, 2 (he was at home rather than in battle, and he got up from his bed, open to boredom and temptation.
        • Lesson 2 – He failed to protect himself with a network of accountability, answering to no one, he grew accustomed to wanting and getting.
        • Lesson 3 – He was lonely and made a plan (note the three actions of #5. b.)
          • Sinned in thought – 2 Samuel 11:2
          • Sinned in word – 2 Samuel 11:3
          • Sinned in deed – 2 Samuel 11:4
      7. Could Bathsheba have prevented this from happening?
      8. What superior character qualities do you see in Uriah? 2 Samuel 11:9, 11, 13 (Deuteronomy 23:9-10).
        • What does this reveal about David?
        • Where do you see the first hint of fear in David? About Uriah? About Joab?
        • Have you ever felt someone was faking an interest in you for an ulterior motive?
        • How did David involve Joab in his sin?
        • How would you describe David’s heart at this point? 2 Samuel 11:25
      9. How far away is David’s heart? God’s commentary is 2 Samuel 11:27
        • Lesson 1 – He resisted opportunities to repent, but chose to stay in this revolving door of deception. 
          • How could he have repented or acted with integrity?
          • Why did he NOT repent
        • Lesson 2 – He was unmoved by Uriah’s integrity.
        • Lesson 3 – He tried to cover his own sin, rather than confess it. (Psalm 32:1)
        • Lesson 4 – He involved a lot of others in his sin.
      10. What is Bathsheba feeling as her identity changes from Uriah’s wife, to David’s lover, to Uriah’s widow, to David’s bride? 2 Samuel 11:26-27
      11. Why does Nathan the prophet speak to David using a parable? 2 Samuel 12:1, 2, 3, 4
        • Why did he use a sheep in his story?
        • Why does the absence of justice and mercy in Nathan’s story enrage David? 2 Samuel 12:5-6
        • What is Nathan’s perspective on gratitude? 2 Samuel 12:7-9
        • What three sons will meet a violent death in this prophecy? 2 Samuel 12:10
          • 2 Samuel 13:28-29
          • 2 Samuel 18:14-15
          • 1 Kings 2:24-25
      12. How did the prophecy of 2 Samuel 12:11, 12 come to pass? 2 Samuel 16:21, 22
      13. What toll did this sin take on David? Psalm 32:3, 4, 5
      14. How does David’s response to rebuke compare to Saul’s response in a similar situation? 2 Samuel 12:13, Psalm 51 (1 Samuel 13:11-12, 15:13-26).
      15. How did David respond to the child’s sudden illness? 2 Samuel 12:15-25
      16. Notice God did not do what David asked (2 Samuel 12:16) but died (2 Samuel 12:18). Since prayer did not change the child’s health, what did change?
        • Lesson 1 – David’s plea forced him to a place of dependence on God.
        • Lesson 2 – David’s plea satisfied his spirit (the child did not die because he did not ask God to spare him).
        • Lesson 3 – David’s plea ensured his survival through this tragedy he and his wife would suffer (enabling him to comfort his wife 2 Samuel 12:24-25).
        • Lesson 4 – David’s plea touched God’s heart, He disciplines those whom He loves (Hebrews 12:6). Solomon was called, Jedidiah, which means “beloved of the Lord,” the successor to the throne.
      17. No relief like repentance – Psalm 51
        • Psalm 51:1 – have mercy, according to Your love and compassion
        • Psalm 51:2 – wash and cleanse from sin
        • Psalm 51:3 – I know my sin, you can live without it, give it up
        • Psalm 51:4 – sin is against God alone; the biggest heartbreak
        • Psalm 51:5 – sinful at birth; it is a part of me
        • Psalm 51:6 – God desires truth; even when we don’t want to believe it
        • Psalm 51:7 – cleanse me with hyssop (Exodus 12:22-23) I’ll be whiter than snow
        • Psalm 51:8 – let the bones You have crushed rejoice; the pain of confessing and repenting will bring healing
        • Psalm 51:9 – hide Your face from my sin; our total depravity keeps us from looking to God, shame, embarrassment, He wants to forgive
        • Psalm 51:10 – create in me a pure heart; create is bara, like in Genesis 1:1, which only God can do for us
        • Psalm 51:11 – don not take the Holy Spirit from me; a fate worse than death
        • Psalm 51:12 – restore the joy of Your salvation
        • Psalm 51:13 – I will teach others and they will return to God; the forgiven become evangelists to God’s goodness

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      Life Lessons From David

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      The Men of Steel get together on a regular basis for fellowship, service projects, biblical inspiration and sharing life. We can become better men, husbands and fathers by holding each other accountable and encouraging one another. I thought about King David, since he is the current topic of my Sunday Bible study class, and thought I’d share these insights from Second Samuel: 

      1. How many times has David been anointed king? 2 Samuel 5:3, (see also 1 Samuel 16:13 and 2 Samuel 2:4)
      2. How long does David rule over Israel and Judah together? 2 Samuel 5:5
      3. Who occupies Jerusalem before David takes the city? 2 Samuel 5:6
      4. How does David get in to the city? 2 Samuel 5:8 (I love how he takes the fortress)
      5. Why does Uzzah die during the March to Jerusalem? 2 Samuel 6:6-7
        • How does David respond to Uzzah’s death? 2 Samuel 6:8-10
        • What changes are made in bringing the ark for the second time? 2 Samuel 6:13 (notice the “bearers” and the sacrifice, compared to 2 Samuel 6:3)
      6. How does David’s wife react to his dancing before the Lord with all his might? 2 Samuel 6:16 (What might this suggest?)
        • Lesson 1 – The King was not immune to marriage troubles.
        • Lesson 2 – Other people cannot limit our expression of love and devotion toward God.
      7. Who was Nathan? 2 Samuel 7:2
      8. What does David say to Nathan? 2 Samuel 7:2 (sort of a, “what’s wrong with this picture” moment)
        • How is Nathan presumptuous? 2 Samuel 7:3
          1. Lesson 1 – Don’t assume every bright and noble idea is from God.
          2. Lesson 2 – Don’t assume that a godly leader (whom God has chosen) is always right.
        • What does the Lord promise David? 2 Samuel 7:10
      9. Who does the Lord say will build God’s house? 2 Samuel 7:12-13
        • Why not David? 1 Kings 5:3 and 1 Chronicles 22:8
        • An interesting twist: instead of David building a house for the Lord, the Lord builds a house for David! 2 Samuel 7:11, 16
        • Is this Davidic Covenant conditional or unconditional? 2 Samuel 7:13-16
        • How does David respond? 2 Samuel 7:18
      10. Who does David conquer during his reign over Israel and Judah? 2 Samuel 8:11-12 (this is called the expansion of the kingdom) How often did the Lord help David? 2 Samuel 8:6,14
        • Lesson 1 – God would give rest when the nation was obedient on the battlefield.
        • Lesson 2 – There was hope in that the nations where to be subservient, not totally destroyed or wiped out.
        • Lesson 3 – David never forgot the source of his strength. 2 Samuel 8:11
        • Lesson 4 – Fulfillment of his calling, 2 Samuel 8:15, the Christ nearly 1000 years later.
      11. Can we conclude that David had an adequate judicial system? 2 Samuel 8:15
        • Debatable, the lack of a system is the main reason for Absalom’s revolt, 2 Samuel 15:4
        • David’s sons were chief ministers. 2 Samuel 8:18
      12. Who was the royal recorder during David’s reign? 2 Samuel 8:17 (I love this guy’s name)
      13. Who is the servant of Saul that David locates? 2 Samuel 9:2
      14. How does she help David? 2 Samuel 9:3, then what does David demonstrate…?
        • David shows kindness, 2 Samuel 9:1, 7 (Romans 2:4)
        • David initiates the relationship, 2 Samuel 9:4 (Romans 5:8)
        • David accepts the son, just as he is, 2 Samuel 9:3, 7 (Philippians 1:6)
        • David demonstrates a calming spirit, 2 Samuel 9:7 (Ephesians 2:14)
        • David offers reconciliation and restoration, 2 Samuel 9:9, Psalm 23:3 (2 Corinthians 5:17-18)
        • There’s always room for more in the palace, 2 Samuel 9:10 (2 Peter 3:9)
      15. Why does David send his servants to Hanun, king of the Ammonites? 2 Samuel 10:1-2
      16. How does Hanun treat the servants? 2 Samuel 10:4 (too funny, we can laugh now, but such a vivid picture), but we can learn…
        • Lesson 1 – David shows active sympathy for the suffering, 2 Samuel 10:2
        • Lesson 2 – David’s intentions were misunderstood, 2 Samuel 10:3, 5
        • Lesson 3 – David is fiercely loyal and protective to his people, 2 Samuel 10:5
        • Lesson 4 – David took on their enemy himself, sending Joab and his mighty men, 2 Samuel 10:7
      17. What is the outcome of the inevitable battle? 2 Samuel 10:13-14

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      The Truth About Life Change

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      My Bible study class studied for several weeks a book by Chip Ingram on the Miracle of Life Change. I recently discovered nine foundational truths about life change (from Pastor Rick Warren):

      1. Understand that the goal of all change is Christ-likeness. God doesn’t want us to be happy; he wants us to be holy. We become holy as we become more like Jesus. When you see people, remember this – God’s goal for the people you see isn’t balance, happiness, or comfort. He wants nothing less than for them to become like Jesus.

      Paul tells us in Romans 8:29, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” We have a phrase here in America, “Like father, like son.” God wants nothing more than for us to become like Jesus, in how we act, how we talk, how we relate to others, how we relate to God, and every aspect of our lives. This is always the goal of biblical change.

      2. Realize that both you and God have a part to play in changing. You can’t do God’s part in the change process, but you must do yours. You can see this clearly when Paul writes in Philippians 2:12-13, “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” Notice Paul says, “Continue to work out …” That’s your part. Then he says, “for it is God who works in you …” That’s God’s part. We both have a part to play.

      The Bible doesn’t say to work for your salvation. It says to “work it out.” There’s only one way you can find salvation – by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9). Think about it, you don’t work out in the gym to create muscles you don’t have; you work out to strengthen the muscles God has given you. When you “work out” your salvation, you don’t earn it. Instead, you strengthen what God has already given you. You can’t transform or change yourself, but – because of the cross – the Holy Spirit can. But you have a part to play.

      3. Accept that lasting change starts with choice. Whatever hurt, habit, or hang-up you have, change begins with a choice. Choice is one of the greatest gifts that God gives us. In the Bible, God tells us to make healing choices (Deuteronomy 30:19), “I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.”

      4. Change requires truth. Jesus said in John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” The truth may set you free, but first it makes you miserable. The reason most of us aren’t free is that we don’t want to face the truth about our sin. We don’t want to face the truth about others, our relationships, our parents, or our past. The Bible says our hearts are “desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9).

      That deceit has to be balanced with the truth of God. Why does truth set us free? Because the way we think affects the way we feel. The way we feel then affects the way we act. If you want to change the way you act, you don’t want to start with your behavior, you start with your thoughts. The battle over sin always begins in the mind. You can’t stop the thoughts that come into your mind, but you need to know how to divert them. Change happens when we’re honest about what is in our heart and then we challenge it with the Word of God. The truth is, behind every self-defeating behavior in your life is a lie that you believe to be true.

      5. Lasting change happens in community. God has wired us to only get well in community, not a cocoon. Koinonia (the Greek term for fellowship or community) simply means being as committed to each other as we are to Jesus Christ, and sharing a common life.

      Change happens when you open up and share your hurts, habits, and hang-ups. It’s the only way to get over them. James 5:16 tells us to, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” Revealing your feelings is the beginning of healing. If you want to see true life change, you need to develop Christian community or fellowship in your life.

      6. Lasting change is a step-by-step process. The kind of change that we really long for won’t happen by accident or by chance. Change happens intentionally and incrementally. The Message paraphrases 2 Corinthians 3:18, “Our lives are gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.” When God enters our lives, we become gradually more like Jesus. That is sanctification.

      7. Lasting change requires multiple reinforcement. You’ve got to get truth in a lot of different ways to make the way for lasting change. How can people listen to Pastor Skip’s sermons for years and not grow? People just don’t grow by listening. James tells us not to merely listen to the Word of God but to obey it (James 1:22). He goes on to say that the one who “looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he will be blessed in what he does” (James 1:25).

      It’s the person who remembers the Word of God and does it who is blessed. Leaders must teach people the Bible in multiple ways to make that happen in their lives. God loves variety. He wired some people to learn through what they hear. Others learn from they see or read. Others learn by doing. Those who participate in worship will hear the Word. They talk about it in their small group Bible studies. They read about it in a book.

      8. Lasting change requires new habits. I’ve heard it said that you are the sum total of your habits. You’ve got both good and bad habits, but what you do habitually is what you are. You don’t have to think about taking a shower, brushing your teeth, or shaving. You just do it. Those are habits. You’re not an honest person unless you are habitually honest. You’re not faithful to your spouse if you’re only faithful 98% of the time.

      For 2,000 years Christians have been developing good habits. We often call them spiritual disciplines, such as prayer, quiet time, Bible study, solitude, fasting, service, journaling, etc. These are building blocks of spiritual growth. Not many believers have been to a boot camp for spiritual growth because. We just did not know that we needed it.

      9. Real change changes others. A lot of people come to marriage counseling and say they wanted to change their spouse, when what they really needed to do was change themselves. You can only change someone else by changing yourself. When you change, you force the other person to change because they can’t respond to you the same old way. When God changes you, he’ll use you to change others.

      How do you know someone’s life has been changed by God and they’re spiritually mature? You know the same way that you know if someone is physically mature – reproduction. Spiritually mature people reproduce. As people experience real life change, they’ll help others find the same hope.

      God says life is a choice. Jesus says, “I came so that you might have life and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10). Life is a choice, but most people are just existing. They get up in the morning, go to work, come home, watch TV, and go to bed. Then they get up in the morning, go to work, come home, watch TV, and go to bed… over and over, repeating that same pattern. One day they wake up and realize there is more to this life than just existing!

      The kind of life that God wants us to have is not automatic. Spiritual growth is not automatic. You have to make choices to help yourself grow.