Category: Men’s Ministry

How to Spot Overload in Your Life

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In America, we are way too busy… work, school, after school classes, scouts, baseball, cheerleading, swim practice, ballet, piano lessons, and the list goes on. We tend to over stimulate our kids and wonder why a peaceful evening at home with the family never happens.

I found this in a recent HomeLife magazine: Since faith moves us toward action, basically to love like Christ, we volunteer in church, the community and other charitable organizations. But we often find ourselves taking on too much. We fear that saying no will lead to guilt and obligation. But there are times that we need to take time out.

  1. When we are spending less time with the Father – the nature of relationships is that we spend time with those most important to us. Concerning God, how much time do we give to Him in Bible study, prayer, reflection, worship? If you’re crowding out that time, you’re too busy.
  2. When you’re neglecting your family and loved ones – it seems counter-productive, but it is possible to allow your work and service activities to take you away from those closest to you, which is not a place you want to be.
  3. When you’re physically, mentally and emotionally drained – realistically, how much good are you to others if you are exhausted? Not much. Remember that we are designed for rest and downtime, remember the 4th commandment? It’s not a bad thing, it’s a must.
  4. When your joy is gone – if you find yourself feeling no joy and satisfaction in the works of your faith or your daily life, you may be suffering from overload.

Dr. Richard Swenson, M.D. wrote a neat little book called, The Overload Syndrome, where he challenges readers to live within their limits. Chapter four hits this “activity and commitment” issue right on the head. Here’s the doctor’s Rx:

  1. Reestablish control on your life and schedule – be active and intentional in this correction, avoiding self-pity.
  2. Prioritize activities and commitments – start with priorities from God’s Word, look through God’s eyes and then act on what is seen, seek first His kingdom and the rest will follow, and remember that people are always more important than things.
  3. Practice saying NO to good things – it’s easy to say no to bad things, but the goal is control on your life. But it is never an excuse for laziness or non-involvement.
  4. Consider doing less, not more – make sure to do the right things, not just more things.
  5. Periodically prune your activities.
  6. Limit your long-term commitments.
  7. Work to establish and maintain balance.
  8. Guard the dinner hour.
  9. Restore the practice of Sabbath rest.

Not a bad prescription to bring the margin and balance back into your life.

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Balance and/or Priorities in Life

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I trust the week has gone well for you all. Our list of men has increased by five this week. Remember that the topics are not sequential, so coming back after missing a Saturday is quite easy, no catching up!

Last Saturday I was challenged to find something on “balance.” Generally this could mean balancing all the demands we have as men…family, work, play, sports, hobbies, you name it. One thing is for sure, when it comes to balance, setting priorities is the way to go! Ever notice that we will DO the stuff that is important to us. We make time, don’t we? We must remember the difference between the urgent and the important. How can you tell the difference?

Check out this teaching video, about 30 minutes or so, from Pat Morley, the author of the Man in the Mirror book. The video Bible study is on priorities, likely the root cause of our need for balance. Then think about these questions:

  1. How do your dreams and hopes for your children reflect your priorities? Do they reveal weak spots or blind spots?
  2. Read Matthew 22:36-38 and think about the significance of this command on the way we prioritize our time and money.
  3. Read John 14:15, 21, 23 and think about the relationship between obedience and loving God. What is something that you have done for God even though it was unpleasant?
  4. Name an area in your relationship with God that you are not doing all you should. What are you willing to do to improve?
  5. Read John 15:12-14 and think about who you are willing to die for.
  6. Read Genesis 2:15 and think about ways your vocation might contribute to God’s agenda.
  7. What good work might God be calling you to do?
  8. Is rest a priority with you, or do you feel guilty when you are relaxing? What is the Jesus position on relaxing (Matthew 11:28-30)?
  9. Think about how the world competes with biblical priorities. Any examples in your life?

Remember this is not homework! But try to view the priorities video and think about some of these questions. I have a conference all day on Saturday but will be at the KGBC pavilion 7:30-8:30, and then will have to take off!

Proverbs 27 for the Common Man

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As you heard, the 12 of us came to the pavilion that day with various expectations and needs. The group may not be exactly what every man is seeking, but perhaps we will address concerns that affect us all.

The format for Men of Steel at this point is developing, but I am convinced that we should not start a Bible study series that will cause men to think they will get behind if they miss a Saturday. Perhaps we should explore a new topic each Saturday, announced ahead of time (like by e-mail) so we can gather with a similar idea of what to expect. Maybe even prepare to contribute to the discussion. We can then come to the devotional time with ideas about a Scripture. Remember, this is not a requirement like homework!

So, at the pavilion on Saturday October 11, how about really diving in to Proverbs 27? Consider this as you read the chapter this week:

  1. God is the One who controls the future – Proverbs 27:1
  2. Jealousy destroys human relationships – Proverbs 27:4
  3. God wants us to trust friends and correct one another – Proverbs 27:5-6
  4. We need a sense of “home” and a “people” who can give support and counsel – Proverbs 27:7-10
  5. The danger of listening to the wrong people – Proverbs 27:10
  6. The foolishness of conceit – Proverbs 27:5, 12, 16
  7. We need to learn from friends – Proverbs 27:17
  8. God knows us because He knows our hearts – Proverbs 27:19

Ask yourself:

  1. How does our relationship with God affect our relationships with family and friends? (Proverbs 27:2, 4-6, 8-11, 14-17)
  2. How does your relationship with God affect foolish people? (Proverbs 27:3, 12, 15-16, 20, 22)
  3. How does your relationship with God affect your business dealings or planning for the future? (Proverbs 27:18, 23-27)

From John Maxwell, regarding leadership and relationships:

  1. Don’t brag (Proverbs 27:1-2) – leaders understand how little they get from self-promotion.
  2. Don’t envy (Proverbs 27:4) – leaders sabotage themselves if their motive is to keep up with others.
  3. Be up-front (Proverbs 27:5-6) – leaders don’t fear confrontation, but speak the truth in love.
  4. Don’t forsake your roots (Proverbs 27:8) – leaders understand the power of heritage.
  5. Stay close (Proverbs 27:9-10) – leaders work at maintaining relationships and meeting needs.
  6. Add value (Proverbs 27:17) – leaders sharpen those with whom they come in contact.
  7. Don’t be moved by flattery or praise (Proverbs 27:21) – stay humble or you’ll stumble.

Hope to see you on Saturday!

Marriage Glue: Ways to Stick Together

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There is a lot of good stuff in the August HomeLife magazine, especially on nurturing our marriages.

 

·     Keep dreaming together: When you share your hopes and dreams with your spouse, and when you dream about your future together, you are solidifying your commitment to each other.

·     Express your commitment in words: Write out your covenant to each other, frame it, and display it in a place where each of you will see it often.

·     Learn new things about your spouse: You are both works in progress, and God will continue to refine you. Continually study your spouse and learn about his or her interests, feelings and gifts.

·     Pray with and for your spouse: The Bible tells us that a cord of three strands in not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). When you are both focused on God and each other, your marriage will be strong enough to face the storms of life.   

 

“Genuine love is honor put into action regardless of the cost.” – Gary Smalley, Love is a Decision.

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Ten Ways to Seal Your Marriage

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Marriage is a pretty important institution, ordained and blessed by God in the very beginning. But life is hard and many marriages and families fall apart. How can the church address the issue of making stronger families? By making stronger marriages! With the movie recent release of Fireproof, I thought that we all could use a little encouragement on developing our marriages! 

 

1.  Make Christ the center of your lives (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

2.  Remain sexually and emotionally faithful (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)

3.  Keep no secrets from your spouse (1 Corinthians 13:6)

4.  Love and respect your spouse (Ephesians 5:33)

5.  Pray for your marriage (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

6.  Be kind and forgive (Ephesians 4:32)

7.  Follow God’s instructions for money management (1 Timothy 6:10)

8.  Don’t go to bed angry (Ephesians 4:26-27)

9.  Honor each other’s parents (Exodus 20:12)

10.  Always strive to make your marriage better (Philippians 3:12)  

 

All sound biblical guidance, right? But will we commit to it. How can we make our marriages better… starting this week? Have you taken the Love Dare? This list was taken from HomeLife magazine.

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