Category: Leadership

Building Relationships Jesus’ Way

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If Christianity is nothing else, it is about relationships; with God and with others. Jesus said that the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength, and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself. It’s pretty direct yet ambiguous as to how to do it, but a great foundation.

Jay Dennis gives some good insight in his book, The Jesus Habits: Exercising the Spiritual Disciplines of Jesus:

1. Jesus took the initiative to build relationships – the woman at the well (in John 4) is a great example of taking the initiative.

2. Jesus didn’t allow prejudice to affect his building a relationship, (her being a lower-class Samaritan). This tells me that He was cross-cultural in His mission.

3. Jesus demonstrated that sharing a meal is one of the best relationship builders – like the invitation of Zaccheus (in Luke 19). Hospitality is such a great way to serve others in the name of Christ.

4. Jesus didn’t give up on building a relationship with someone – like the woman caught in adultery (in John 8). It’s as if He’s telling her that He will not give up on her.

5. Jesus confirmed that relationships are more important than structures and organizations – like when Jesus healed someone on the Sabbath Day and took grief for it (in John 5).

6. Jesus even built relationships in the last moments before His death – like the thief on the cross next to Him (in Luke 23).

If authentic Christianity is going to spread throughout our city and the rest of the world, it will be done through relationships. I’m not against religious broadcasting, but adding people to the kingdom will not reach the world in time – multiplication is needed. We need to teach people how to become disciples of Jesus, yes, but it is more important to develop people into disciple-makers.

Disciple-makers are able to take the good news they received and invest it into the lives of others, who in turn will invest their lives into others. Paul set the example in his letter to his younger disciple, Timothy (2 Timothy 2:2). Let’s start small by finding a few people who have potential to become disciple-makers, and then invest time and effort into them!

How? I like this quote from Dale Carnegie, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” People are not notches on your belt! Your interest must be genuine.

Being Missional Vs. Missions Involvement

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Gary Chapman of the Southwest Virginia Christian Leadership Network reminded me of the recent movement termed “missional.” To me, this makes sense:

You’ve likely heard the term, “the missional church”, in conferences and conversation.  Simply put, it is a call to churches to be biblically faithful to be Christ’s presence in their local community.  In Breaking the Missional Code by Ed Stetzer and David Putman, the authors make the following statement:

It may sound uncharitable, but we don’t mean it to be so. But . . . many will say that these shifts, and a book like this, do not matter.  They are convinced if you just “preach the gospel” and perhaps “love people” that your church will reach people. They are wrong, and their ideas hurt the mission of the church. Communities across North America are filled with churches led by loving gospel preachers—most of whom, if statistics are true, are not reaching people.

You cannot grow a biblically faithful church without loving people and preaching the gospel. But loving people means understanding and communicating with them. Preaching the gospel means to proclaim a gospel about the Word becoming flesh—and proclaiming that the body of Christ needs to become incarnate in every cultural expression.

So, practically speaking, what would it mean for the church to become “missional?”  This list is from Dan Kimball’s book, They Like Jesus But Not the Church and explains what Stetzer and Putman are suggesting:

  • Being missional means that the church sees itself as being missionaries, rather than having a missions department, and that we see ourselves as missionaries right where we live.
  • Being missional means that we see ourselves as representatives of Jesus “sent” into our communities, and that the church aligns everything it does with the missio dei (mission of God).
  • Being missional means we see the church not as a place we go only on Sunday, but as something we are throughout the week.
  • Being missional means we understand we don’t “bring Jesus” to people but that we realize Jesus is active in our culture and we join him in what he is doing.
  • Being missional means we are very much in the world and engaged in culture but are not conforming to the world.
  • Being missional means we serve our communities, and that we build relationships with the people in them, rather than seeing them as evangelistic targets.
  • Being missional means being all the more dependent on Jesus and the Spirit through prayer, the Scriptures, and each other in community. 

Authentic followers of Christ would seem to be missional in their mindset as described here. It’s more than being involved in missions activities; it’s a way of life! Check out this image…

On a wider level. people just might consider the claims of Christ or at least view Christianity with some mention of respect if they could just see more people actually living out what they profess to believe. A lot of people may be into spirituality but they are certainly not into the church. How can we grow into authentic followers of Christ? How can we embrace what it means to be missional?

“An authentic life is the most personal form of worship. Everyday life has become my prayer.” –Sarah Ban Breathnach

Cross-Generational Chords of Discontent

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I’m fascinated by a book by Gary L. McIntosh called, One Church Four Generations. I am a part of a congregation full of Builders, often called The Greatest Generation that built this country into what it is today. But as I think about the future of the church, how will we reach the younger generation of Boomers, Busters and Bridgers? 

 

McIntosh writes about the conflict over worship styles: 

 

While not every member of each generation sees things the same way, essentially the areas of difficulty are as follows: 

o    Pace of the service. Builders like worship services to move along slowly and predictably. Boomers like worship to move at a fast clip, while Busters and Bridgers want it to move even quicker. Both Busters and Bridgers look for variety and spontaneity.

o    Brightness of the lighting. Builders prefer softer lighting as it gives more of a worshipful feeling. Boomers look for a brighter lighting so they can see people well. Most Busters and Bridgers also like brighter lighting, but some prefer a darker setting, perhaps with candles or other subdued lighting.

o    Loudness of sound. Builders appreciate being able to hear well but dislike sound that blasts. Boomers and Busters want the music loud enough that they can feel it. Some Bridgers also appreciate louder sound and in some situations are comfortable with lots of interactive noise from videos, music, and talking.

o    Length of service. Builders have a longer attention span and thus are willing to sit through longer services. The attention span of Boomers, Busters, and Bridgers has been increasingly shorter.

o    Formality of service. Builders expect a certain level of formality and decorum, whereas Boomers prefer somewhat of a dressy casual. Busters and Bridgers like things to be flexible and casual. Builders equate reverence with formality of dress. They experience great frustration with Bridgers who may wear baseball caps in the church, perhaps even while in the worship service.

o    Feel of the service. Builders look for a worship service that is quiet and reverent. Boomers and Busters desire an upbeat celebration time. Bridgers, however, appear to appreciate worship that is real and honest regardless of the style.

o    Participation in the service. Builders tend to watch and enjoy while Boomers and older Busters who grew up in church like to participate with clapping and similar forms of involvement. Bridgers like a highly interactive worship service that allows for multiple forms of involvement. Unchurched Boomers, Busters, and Bridgers want to be entertained to some extent.

o    Type of music. Builders love the hymnal and the familiar songs of the faith. They like their music to be slowly paced and reverent. Boomers appreciate the praise music of the ’70s and ’80s, while Busters and Bridgers like to “sing a new song” to the Lord using a variety of music styles.

o    Quality. Builders associate quality with the effort that is extended. Thus a person may sing off-key, but Builders appreciate the quality of his or her effort. Boomers see quality as being mistake free. They expect the music, sound, announcements, and message to be well done. Busters and Bridgers tend to view quality as equal to authenticity. To them a Boomer worship service comes across as too slick and contrived. A few mistakes in the worship service are fine with them, as it is more authentic and real.

 

So how do you work through these issues? What about a blended service trying to be all things to all men? What about starting a contemporary service to reach the younger generation? Would it meet on Sunday morning or maybe Saturday evening? What about meeting in a different venue than the church property? Is it OK to have two separate congregations in one church, each service meeting the needs of their “target” audience?

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Heisman Winner Has Priorities in Order

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I found a great article about this year’s Heisman Trophy winner, Tim Tebow, having his priorities in order. He’s an MK (missionary kid), a committed follower of Jesus and a faithful member of First Baptist Church Jacksonville, Florida.

In a profile aired on ESPN during the Heisman award ceremony, Tebow said his priorities are: “number one, my faith in God; number two, my family and my relationships with my family; number three, academics; and number four is football.”

His mother, Pam Tebow, in the profile, said she declined the advice of a doctor to get an abortion after she became seriously ill and dehydrated when pregnant with Tim, her fifth child while living overseas. Bob Tebow said his son is a “miracle baby and so we have reminded him that hundreds of times.” He was homeschooled but allowed to play high school football thanks to a Florida law.

There are several quotes from his pastor, Mac Brunson, about the entire family’s commitment to Christ. 

“I think who he is is a great tribute to his mom and his dad, in fact the whole family,” Brunson said. “It’s a family that’s incredibly dedicated to the Lord, dedicated to missions. They walk the walk. They just don’t talk about it; they really walk the walk. It’s a close family, and you have to admire the family, not just Tim, but the entire family as well for their commitment to the Lord and the Lord’s work.

“They are really an example of what a family can be under Christ because all of them are so gifted in so many different ways,” Brunson continued. “He’s got a brother who is an incredible athlete. He has a sister who is an incredible teacher. His mother speaks, his dad preaches and has this mission effort in the Philippines. They’re all just talented, gifted. They’re close. They’re a great example of what a family can be when Christ is Lord of everyone’s life.”

Mac Brunson was a Tidewater area pastor several years ago, serving at South Norfolk Baptist Church.

I liked this article because Tebow sets an example for students today, standing up for what he believes in, as well as excelling in academics and athletics; a real role model. Not just a guy who crosses himself after a great play, but a young man who can be at the top of his game and still be faithful in his relationship with Christ. The world has plenty of people who talk a good game. Living it out can communicate to others that what we believe really is something significant.

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Ministering to the Buster Generation

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Broadly defined, Busters were born between 1965 and 1983 and represent about 66 million Americans (roughly ages 25 to 42). They have seen many changes and advances in their lifetime: Roe v. Wade, high technology, video games, television quality and choices, the Challenger disaster, the Berlin Wall came down, peer groups became essential, music had become more cynical, AIDS, the Persian Gulf war, the youthful Clinton administration (his relatively young age and who can forget Monica)…

 

Their characteristics may be described as desiring freedom, non-work-a-holic, into 60’s nostalgia, survival (from AIDS to pollution to over population), feeling neglected (divorced parents, single-parent homes, virtual communities), rejecting the values of the Boomers and even postponing marriage.

 

So, where do they fit in the church? Busters value a true family atmosphere (often coming out of a generation of broken families); get involved in local causes in order to see the results of their efforts, have shorter attention spans (the sound bite generation); want a church to meet their own needs (a pragmatic faith that works for them) and a faith that works for others (becoming involved in social, political and environmental issues)…

 

Let me get to my subject. Gary McIntosh (One Church Four Generations) suggests many ways the church can seek to understand this generation.

  • Define Vision – we must have a clearly defined vision and a commitment to accomplish the task. He says that “to know Christ and make Him known” is too theoretical to be relevant to Busters. Pragmatic busters want to know how the mission will be carried out; how are we going to get to know Christ and to whom is the church trying to make Christ known?
  • Keep Worship Authentic – honest, straightforward, tell-it-like-it-is services are attractive to Busters. They can be short or long, but they cannot be considered a waste of time. They are not so much bored with worship but with services that move slowly. Music is important, so we need to use up-to-date music in a variety of styles, even having busters help plan the services.
  • Focus on local issues – rather than far away places. They will feed the homeless in their own area but seldom will they minister across the country. They want to know that their money is making a difference and do not give because they are asked to give to the regular Boomer channels of missions support. So, experiencing missions is important, even if that experience takes them internationally.
  • Challenge to Short-term Service – the general rule is to recruit for short-term and to renew for long-term. Long-term commitments are not the norm, so experiencing a ministry first helps develop a commitment to it in the long term.
  • Small Groups – Busters love feedback and discussion with people they trust. Step-by-step instructions and accountability are usually needed to move from concepts into action.
  • Answer Questions – since Busters need to sort out various hurts in their lives, the church needs to provide practical messages, classes and groups. They need help with problems they face every day: AIDS, divorce, pornography, immorality, child abuse, drugs and alcohol abuse, STDs. They need honest answers and biblical solutions.
  • Develop Need-Based Ministry – we might call some of these support groups: divorce care, overcoming addictions, surviving abuse.

We have to understand the driving forces behind the group we are trying to reach. This group is the future of the church. What will the church look like after the Builders and Boomers begin to die off? So, what do you think? 

Your Personal Mission Statement

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National best-selling author, Laurie Beth Jones, in her book, The Path: creating your mission statement for work and for life, wrote about an incident in WWII where an unidentified soldier suddenly appeared in the dark and could not state his mission… he was automatically shot without question. She wonders what would happen if we reinforce that policy today. 

 

I suppose being confronted with life and death would force us to reexamine who we are and what we are really about. People leading unfulfilled lives would burst forth with possibility and power. Our mission statement is in essence our written-down reason for existing. This is the key to finding your path in life and identifying the mission you choose to follow.  

 

Jesus had a mission statement. “I have come that they might have life, and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10) or perhaps, “I have come to seek and to save those who are lost.” (Luke 19:10). So, every activity he understood was a result of that mission statement.  

 

Laurie Beth goes on to give three guidelines in developing a personal mission statement:

  1. It should be no more than a single sentence in length
  2. It must be easily understood by a twelve year old
  3. You should be able to recite it by memory at gunpoint

 

Abraham Lincoln’s mission was to preserve the Union; FDR’s mission was to end the Depression; Nelson Mandela’s mission was to end apartheid; Mother Teresa’s mission was to show mercy and compassion to the dying; Joan of Arc’s mission was to save France; Nehemiah’s mission was to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Forgetting one’s mission leads to getting tangled up in details that will take you completely off your path. 

 

My mission statement? To know Christ and make Him known. It’s not an astounding treatise or even original. But I get my mission statement from Mark 3:14, where Jesus called His disciples to first be with Him, and then He sent them out to preach the gospel.  My challenge to you is to seriously consider why you exist on this planet, or where you live at this time in history. How will you impact eternity for those around you? Focus on your mission so you do not get distracted.

Completing Successful Projects

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In a recent issue of Rev magazine (Nov/Dec 2006), Rick Warren outlined six principles to guide leaders in completing successful projects, whether that project is starting a new church, creating a new ministry, etc.  In doing so, he turned to the example of Nehemiah and his “monster project” of rebuilding Jerusalem ’s wall.

The principle of simplification – Keeping his plan simple, Nehemiah organized work teams around natural groupings of people who were already associated together.  “The point is – don’t create an organization if you don’t need it.”   Note: We already have groupings such as these in many of our churches – they’re called Sunday School classes!

The principle of participation – Nehemiah sought to get everybody involved in the project.  But, as with any group effort, there will be those unwilling to go to work (the people of Tekoa – Nehemiah 3:5).  Nehemiah didn’t fret or waste time attempting to enlist these shirkers.  He simply worked with those who were willing.

The principle of delegation – In our churches, we often assume people know what to do.  But, good delegation involves more than simply outlining the big picture. As Nehemiah modeled for us, we need to understand what the steps required for the task to be completed.  And, we need to know what persons are gifted and called to do.

The principle of motivation – Nehemiah recognized the wisdom of having persons work on that section of the wall nearest their homes.  By doing so, he gave the people ownership of the project.  The people were allowed to work in areas most convenient and where they were most interested.

The principle of administration – Even with good delegation, supervision and clear lines of authority are a must.  Nehemiah didn’t just tell the people what to do; he continued to oversee the project by what Tom Peters calls MBWA – Management By Walking Around.  He knew what was happening.The principle of appreciation – When completed, Nehemiah and the people celebrated.  But, it’s interesting to note, that Nehemiah recognized the people by name in his book.  Do we know who is doing a good job in our church?  Do we tell them?

An excerpt from the Southwest Virginia Christian Leadership Network Newsletter.