Category: Leadership

Change that is Really Needed

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Presidential candidates always promise change; one says he can deliver and the other says he can’t. We crave what the word represents, with a hope that perhaps one man truly can make a difference. But how will America experience real change? We have to change the society! Consider the information in the box, on how to get society right…

getmenrightIn his book, Wild at Heart, John Eldridge tells us that since men are made in the image of God, they understand their own natures by looking at how God has expressed His own nature. He mentions three expressions: a warrior, a lover and an adventurer.

  1. As a warrior, God battled satan for the souls of men.
  2. As a lover, Jesus gave himself for his bride, the church.
  3. As an adventurer, God created humanity and risked everything by giving us freedom to reject him.

So, the author contends that men are looking for a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, and an adventure to live.

In the series, Quest for Authentic Manhood, Robert Lewis teaches that men need to look at the example of Jesus’ masculinity as their test for true north. We either live in the shadow of the first Adam (mere existence) or the second Adam (a life-giving spirit) (see 1 Corinthians 15:45-49, Romans 5:17-19). The shadow a man chooses determines the kind of man and father he will become.

Why is Men’s Ministry so important? Because so much is at stake! Men are in a battle for their souls, their marriages, their families, and you see that society is ultimately affected. Let’s change America together; leaving no man left behind.

Gentle Jesus Meek and Mild?

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I think it is important to help children see the manhood of Jesus, but I’m afraid we don’t get a lot of help in this regard. I imagine that in the typical church, listening to sermons and Bible studies one hears only the softer side of Christ presented. As a matter of fact, a friend of mine who is in full time men’s ministry recently asked participants in two seminars to list characteristics of Christ. In both the women’s seminar and the men’s seminar, the descriptors were words like loving, forgiving, kind, compassionate, gentle. These are but a few words that are not very compelling to men.

 

I agree Jesus was all of these things; the most incredible example of each of these characteristics, but there’s more. He was also the most worthwhile example of courage, tenacity, service, assertiveness, righteousness, leadership, determination and godliness. These are characteristics that are more likely to get a man’s attention. Think about it, do we hear about these things often enough in sermons or in our Bible studies?

 

As an example, my friend Mike, from Noble Warriors, shared this story:

 

A couple of years ago I was asked to fill in as a substitute coach for my son’s Upward team. At the end of the game, I got to celebrate the kid’s efforts by giving out stars. After each game, stars are given to kids to recognize; Best Offense, Best Defense, Best Effort, Best Sportsmanship and Most Christlike.

 

There were eight kids on the team, four boys and four girls. This was week five in the season. I looked at the recognition chart and realized that all four girls had been awarded Most Christlike stars, one each week for the previous four weeks. Not a single boy had been awarded a Most Christlike star. Wow! I think that we have all been programmed to think about how nice Christ was and it’s probably easier for most of us to see someone being nice on the soccer field and recognize that child as Christlike.

 

I made a quick decision and gathered the parents around for the recognition time. I gave out the other stars then proceeded to explain that I like to observe characteristics of Christ that others may not think of very often. When I read the gospels, I see that Christ was tenacious, focused on the goal, determined, assertive, and that he was fully obedient to his Father’s will. I gave Most Christlike stars to two little boys who were tenacious, focused, determined, confident, assertive and obedient and made a big deal of how these two had followed Christ’s example of manhood.

 

I think we’d have more men following Jesus if we did a better job of helping men understand His incredible example of masculinity. I want to challenge you to keep this in mind as you read about Jesus in the gospels. Every time you read your Bible this week, look for passages where you recognize Jesus as an example of manhood. This simple challenge could open your eyes to some characteristics of Christ that you hadn’t noticed previously… and help you understand your own manhood.

The King’s Grant Men of Steel are meeting at the pavilion this Saturday, November 8 @ 7:30 to discuss this issue! 

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Christians Influencing Culture

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Christians are supposed to influence culture for the better, despite what many non-Christians might want. Richard Dawkins, the famous atheist professor at Oxford recently put signs on London busses stating that “There’s probably no God, now stop worrying and enjoy your life.” Probably? Perhaps he is not too sure about his atheism or the bus company made him tone down his message. Either way, the message is pretty clear, he wants people to live their lives as if there is no God… I wonder what that kind of world would be like?

I wonder what professor Dawkins might think about a world were no Christians exist. Gone are the 90% of Christians who desire to serve mankind in a positive fashion, help others when they are in need, offer comfort to those who are suffering or in grief, those who are the first to rush in with disaster relief… Dawkins must long for a world with no hope at the end of life, with no purpose in this life other than to eat, drink, conquer, procreate and die. Without Christians or the Holy Spirit of the Bible in this world, all that is left is the base of human cruelty, the survival of the fittest where only the strong survive.

My question is, “What does it hurt for people to believe in God?”

I recently read the Southwest Virginia Christian Leadership Network newsletter that quotes Reggie McNeal, from his book Practicing Greatness. He outlines seven spiritual habits or disciplines that lead to the spiritual influence we need within our culture. Since leadership is the art and science of influence, this is what McNeal writes:

  1. Self-awareness – understanding who God created you to be
  2. Self-management – managing emotions, expectations, temptations, mental/physical well-being
  3. Self-development – lifelong commitment to building on your strengths, not your weaknesses
  4. Mission – living out of a sense of God’s purpose for your life and leadership
  5. Decision-making – knowing the elements of good decisions and learning from failure
  6. Belonging – nurturing relationships with family, followers, mentors, and friends
  7. Aloneness – the intentional practice of soul-making solitude and contemplation

Seek ways to influence our culture with intentionality; not just seeking people to believe the way we do, but to allow people to see Jesus for who he really is!

Unless the Lord Builds the Home

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We had a great time at the pavilion last Saturday, a bit cold and a little damp, but what is a man of steel without a little rust? It would be like having power tools without scratches on them! The saying, “I would rather burn out than rust out” perhaps means we should live life to the fullest, don’t hold back, take a risk, follow through on your good intentions, be the hero to your family that you want to be… The old analysis of “rust” is that men can be old, broken and worn out, and chock-full of inactivity; but the new generation should see Men of Steel (perhaps with a little rust) as being seasoned, weathered, unpolished, rough, steadfast, structurally sound, tested and true.

In regard to the topic from this past weekend, the handout was from the Man in the MIrror ministry, and is found here. My blog article that I mentioned about the Overload Syndrome may be found here, complete with a prescription for dealing with correcting overload in our priorities.

October 25 and November 1

Remember that this Saturday October 25 is Operation Inasmuch, so we will not meet as Men of Steel that morning. All community mission teams will meet in the sanctuary at 8:00 for prayer and marching orders for the day.

On Saturday November 1, since the women’s ministry has two separate events, the dad’s (and you single guys are welcome, too) are going to meet at 9:30 for a father/son or dad/daughter fun outing. Suggestions have been bowling at the Hilltop Pinboys or the mini-golf, driving range and batting cage on Holland Road (to be determined later). If you have small children, come on anyway, as a group we can make this work for all of us!

A devotional thought for this week – Psalm 127:1-5 Here’s what I see…

  1. Ps 127:1 tells me that men will often do a lot of work and put great effort into building their homes… not the house, but your home, your marriage and children. It is good to try and build your homes, but this verse reminds us that if God is left out of the picture the effort is futile or in vain. A family without God can never experience the God-designed spiritual bond that He intends for relationships. Don’t make the mistake of leaving God out of your life, or your daily activity. If we make God the foundation of our home, which is our highest priority, we allow Him to build the home as He knows best.
  2. Ps 127:2 reminds me that working hard is not the sin here, but rather working too much (sunup to sundown). It’s like neglecting the most important people in our lives, which is senseless. Take time to rest at home with your loved ones.
  3. Ps 127:3-5 mentions children being a gift and a reward from the Lord, and men are blessed to have many children. Today, many people see kids as liabilities, a distraction or a nuisance, keeping us form what we really want to do, or they are financially way too expensive (growing out of clothing too fast, going off to college, healthcare, etc.). But we learn valuable lessons from our kids, too. Simple questions from kids can help us rediscover new things in fresh ways. After being a believer for 12 years, I didn’t really understand the love that my heavenly Father has for me until I became a father myself. The emotion can be overwhelming, I know how much I love Stephen and Bethany, and that doesn’t even come close to how much God loves me!
  4. The quiver is full of them? A quiver of arrows was generally five! Times have certainly changed. I read that the average American family has around two children, but the truth is the same, that children are precious and a gift. Arrows in the warrior’s hand may mean that our children will stand with us when times in the hood get tough; we survive adversity because God builds a strong home, having family who stand with us! Our kids are a reward, much like the promise given to Abraham, that he would be a great nation and his offspring would be like the sand of the earth or the stars of the sky, (Genesis 15:5 and Genesis 13:15).

John Maxwell on Leadership (Psalm 127):

  1. People cannot provide permanent security for the leader.
  2. Leaders should never put their emotional health into the hands of someone else.
  3. Spiritual and emotional health requires the truth.
  4. Leaders must remember that hurting people naturally hurt people.
  5. Trouble arises when leaders depend upon people to do what only God can do.

Consider passing this note to friends that you would like to join the Men of Steel. This is a word-of-mouth ministry!

Marriage Glue: Ways to Stick Together

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There is a lot of good stuff in the August HomeLife magazine, especially on nurturing our marriages.

 

·     Keep dreaming together: When you share your hopes and dreams with your spouse, and when you dream about your future together, you are solidifying your commitment to each other.

·     Express your commitment in words: Write out your covenant to each other, frame it, and display it in a place where each of you will see it often.

·     Learn new things about your spouse: You are both works in progress, and God will continue to refine you. Continually study your spouse and learn about his or her interests, feelings and gifts.

·     Pray with and for your spouse: The Bible tells us that a cord of three strands in not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). When you are both focused on God and each other, your marriage will be strong enough to face the storms of life.   

 

“Genuine love is honor put into action regardless of the cost.” – Gary Smalley, Love is a Decision.

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Ten Ways to Seal Your Marriage

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Marriage is a pretty important institution, ordained and blessed by God in the very beginning. But life is hard and many marriages and families fall apart. How can the church address the issue of making stronger families? By making stronger marriages! With the movie recent release of Fireproof, I thought that we all could use a little encouragement on developing our marriages! 

 

1.  Make Christ the center of your lives (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

2.  Remain sexually and emotionally faithful (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)

3.  Keep no secrets from your spouse (1 Corinthians 13:6)

4.  Love and respect your spouse (Ephesians 5:33)

5.  Pray for your marriage (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

6.  Be kind and forgive (Ephesians 4:32)

7.  Follow God’s instructions for money management (1 Timothy 6:10)

8.  Don’t go to bed angry (Ephesians 4:26-27)

9.  Honor each other’s parents (Exodus 20:12)

10.  Always strive to make your marriage better (Philippians 3:12)  

 

All sound biblical guidance, right? But will we commit to it. How can we make our marriages better… starting this week? Have you taken the Love Dare? This list was taken from HomeLife magazine.

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Sarah Palin and Women in Leadership

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Texas pastor Voddie Baucham participated in a CNN interview with Margaret Feinberg. Is he serious about female leadership in the community? Notice, it’s not just spiritual leadership within the church, but for a woman to be in leadership at all.

So, the woman’s place is in the home (Titus 2:4-5)? And one could assume a woman should keep her head covered, at least keep her hair long (1 Corinthians 11:6) but not braided, nor should she adorn herself with gold or pearls (1 Timothy 2:9)! Do the women of his congregation take the Bible that literally? For fear of sounding liberal, I have a problem with his interpretation. 

For one, if Sarah Palin is going to lead spiritually, Voddie Baucham might have a point, but since she has the potential to lead politically, I don’t get it.

Secondly, if women can’t lead in the church based solely upon their gender, those who agree with that position must logically take women out of all leadership positions, like even with children and youth. If women are not to have authority over “a man” (singular in 1 Timothy 2:12, like a husband, not necessarily over the community at large) support for male-only senior pastors might be legitimate. If they are not to have authority over a man because Eve was deceived first (like women may be more prone to heresy) why would we allow women to be in charge of our smallest and most vulnerable community members who can’t discern truth from error?

Third, it seems to me that Rev. Baucham should not have women in any leadership positions in his church. I’m thinking that is not the case. I would argue that his position applied politically might mean we remove women from most any community leadership… military, police, judges, the PTA, high school teachers, college professors. I tend to see God gifting all of His children with abilities to be used in His service. Heaven forbid that women would use the excuse of gender for not “stepping out of the boat” to do what they sense God calling them to do.

I cannot tell my daughter that although God has given her certain gifts of leadership and a passion to make a difference in the world, but she cannot do certain tasks because she did not get the right private parts.

Jesus and Peter on Loving, Caring and Feeding

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In the last chapter of the Gospel of John, Jesus instructed Peter to care for the dearest object of His love—His sheep. Three times Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love Me?” and three times Peter answered, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” Jesus then instructed him to, “Feed My lambs, take care of my sheep, and feed my sheep.”

Was Jesus unaware of Peter’s love? Of course not. His threefold question was not for Himself, but for Peter. He asked His questions to underscore the essential truth that only love for Christ would sustain Peter in the work that lay ahead—that difficult and demanding work of caring for people’s souls—perhaps the hardest work of all.

I am fascinated by the fact that Jesus did not ask Peter if he loved His sheep, but if he loved Him. Love for God’s people in itself will not sustain us. His sheep can be unresponsive, unappreciative, and harshly critical of our efforts to love and to serve them. In the end, we will find ourselves defeated and discouraged.

Paul tells us that the “love of Christ controls us”—our love for Him—which is the only sufficient motivation that will enable us to remain faithful in our task, to continue to care for and feed the flock of God.

Our task as leaders in Sunday School and Discipleship Ministry is to primarily be a shepherd of people, not just a teacher of lessons. Everything the pastor is to the congregation, teachers are to their students! Shepherds lead, feed and protect their sheep. Wow, that is so much more that just preparing a lesson each week!

Dedicated volunteers are the backbone of the discipleship strategy of our church; without whom the Great Commission would be stalled in this place. Thank you for the many who have faithfully served our Lord and fed His sheep through the years, and for the many more who have stepped up to feed His lambs (preschoolers and children), feed His sheep (students and adults) and take care of His sheep (leading, feeding and protecting the people entrusted to us).

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Teachers vs Shepherds

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I recently discovered a way to tell the difference between a teacher and a shepherd in Sunday School: ask the question, “What are you teaching right now in your church?”

The one who says they are teaching a five-week class on First John is the teacher; the one who says they are teaching middle school boys is the shepherd! I got this question from David Francis’ work on spiritual gifts. I found this to be a very provocative observation.

So often we believe that we are teaching lessons from the Bible when in reality we are teaching people the Bible! Here are other observations regarding shepherding:

  1. Shepherds know their sheep – The best teachers are those who take into account those whom they are teaching, we must know about life stages, gender differences, how to communicate, how this group learns, etc.
  2. Shepherds know their flock – They keep up with details about individuals in the class, maybe using a notebook to keep up with birthdays, anniversaries, hobbies, etc.
  3. Shepherds don’t wait for Sunday – Plenty of ministry opportunities await the shepherd when they are involved in the lives of their sheep during the week.
  4. Shepherds use a staff – They organize the class into smaller groups to help distribute the task of keeping up with the flock.

The key for me is that we teach people, we don’t teach lessons!

Enemies of Relationship Building

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We may agree that building relationships is essential to the mission of Christ and the evangelization of the world, but what are the barriers to our building relationships? Jay Dennis suggests these six “enemies” and I challenge authentic followers of Christ to find ways to overcome them:

1. Past hurts – Everyone has been hurt in a relationship before. How will we overcome that hurt and risk getting involved with others in a meaningful way?

2. Pride – How often do you tell yourself that you will not make the first move in relationship toward someone?

3. Prejudice – There is a hidden enemy that creeps in to all of us that says, “I’m not going to build a relationship with that person” for whatever reason.

4. Guilt – Perhaps you have said something or done something wrong against a person and that holds you back.

5. Busyness – We all have 24 hours in a day and need just a little bit more time to build relationships. We make time for what is important to us.

6. Selfishness – If I am going to take the time to build relationships, I’ll have to give up something else. Choices can be tough. We must decide what is important and what is urgent.

So, which enemy is holding you back?

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