Category: Communication

The Top 10 in Communication

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The Bible gives many directives for the words we use in communicating with others. The following are Ten Commandments that reflect fundamental principles of godly communication.

  1. Your words are to be truthful: “The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful” (Proverbs 12:22)
  2. Your words are to be pleasing to God: “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight” (Psalm 19:14)
  3. Your words are to be life-giving: “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21)
  4. Your words are to be encouraging: “Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
  5. Your words are to be gracious: “Words from a wise man’s mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips” (Ecclesiastes 10:12)
  6. Your words are to be wise: “Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment” (Proverbs 10:13)
  7. Your words are to be few: “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19)
  8. Your words are to be timely: “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely word!” (Proverbs 15:23)
  9. Your words are to be an investment: “From the fruit of his lips a man is filled with good things as surely as the work of his hands rewards him” (Proverbs 12:14)
  10. Your words are to be loving: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal” (1 Corinthians 13:1)

[print_link] [email_link] Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Communication: The Heart of the Matter. Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.

Genuine Communication

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In college we hit on these types of characteristics of good relational communication:

Warmth—conveying acceptance and courtesy: Warmth says, “You are important to me. You are valuable to me. I enjoy and respect you. I will not try to make you a carbon copy of myself, but rather I desire that you fully realize your own potential.”

Genuineness—having no hidden agendas: Genuineness says, “I am not trying to manipulate you, nor am I trying to bend you to my will. I want to make it safe for you to communicate with me and safe for you to trust that I will be truthful with you.”

Empathy—putting yourself in the other person’s circumstances, or walking in their shoes: Empathy says, “While I may not know exactly what you are going through, I’m trying to understand the emotions you feel and the challenges you face. I will seek to understand you, rather than trying to make you understand me.”

You can see how these characteristics will deepen one’s understand, communication and relationships.

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Personal Communication

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We are having a seminar on Communication on September 12, so in preparation, I thought I’d post a few thoughts on the topic:

Many conversations can be compared to a table tennis match: two players stand on opposite ends of the table preparing to send the ball across the net in such a way that the other has little or no chance of a successful return. When I was a kid, the goal was to keep the ball going back and forth for as long as we could!

Good relational conversations can be better characterized as a game of “catch,” when both people attempt to deliver the ball to the other in such a way that it can be received and then successfully returned. The goal is not to win but to keep the ball going back and forth between them.

As I remember back to my counseling and guidance classes in college, I recall that satisfying relational communication is a process of verbal and nonverbal interaction with others in which thoughts and feelings are shared and understood. This means the receiver of the communication hears what is said and understands what is meant by the sender.

  • Verbal communication conveys thoughts and feelings with the spoken word, both choice of words and tone of voice.
  • Nonverbal communication expresses thoughts and feelings without words (facial expressions, body posture, hand gestures, direct or indirect eye contact, patient or impatient listening, gentle or rough touch, style of dress and clothing, apathetic or silent responses, platonic or romantic kisses, style of discipline, use of money or gifts).

The Hebrew word dabar, which means “word,” is used in the Old Testament to express the concept of communication. It implies speaking about a matter. The Bible, referred to as God’s Word, speaks to us about God and is one of the ways God speaks to us on matters pertaining to life. Old Testament language also speaks about the life-giving power of God’s Word.

“He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.” (Psalm 107:20)

In New Testament Greek, logos (word) is not just “the expression of a thought, concept or idea,” but refers also to the name of an object. In the first chapter of John, “the Word” (logos) signifies the Divine Expression, Christ.

“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14)

So, communication is much more than simply words. The big question for a believer in regard to communication is, “How can I communicate with others in a way that is most pleasing to God?”

The method of communication most pleasing to God is one that reflects Jesus Christ in all you say and do. That means allowing Jesus Christ to be Lord of your life … allowing Him to express His words and actions through you.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:16–17)

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