Category: Churchmanship

Responding to Conflict Biblically

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These are my notes from a seminar on resolving conflict, based on a book by Ken Sande, available at Amazon.

The Peacemaker’s Pledge:

  1. Glorify God – instead of focusing on our own wants and desires, let’s focus on seeking to please God and honoring and obeying him.
  2. Get the log out of your own eye – instead of focusing solely on the faults of the other person, focus on my part in all of this and how I might grow and change my attitudes and behavior.
  3. Go and show your brother his fault – instead of pretending the other person does not exist or overlook his offenses, focus on talking directly to the other person in a biblical manner.
  4. Go and be reconciled – instead of accepting premature compromise or allow the relationship to wither, focus on pursuing peace and reconciliation, forgiving as Jesus would.

Understanding Conflict and Our Responses to it:

  1. What is conflict?
    1. A difference in opinion or purpose that frustrates someone’s goals or desires.
    2. In a fallen world, conflict is inevitable and should be expected (Romans 3:10-18, James 4:1-3, Acts 15:1-2, 36-39).
  2. What causes conflict?
    1. Misunderstandings (Acts 15:22-29)
    2. Differences in values, goals, gifts, calling, priorities, expectations, interests, or opinions (1 Corinthians 12:12-31).
    3. Competition over limited resources (Genesis 13:1-12).
    4. Sinful or selfish attitudes and desires that lead to sinful words and actions (James 4:1-3).
  3. God provides a way to deal with conflict.
    1. Many believers have only a devotional theology for conflict resolution.
    2. To be a peacemaker, we need a systematic theology that resolves conflict in a biblical manner.
    3. We are guided by the Peacemaker’s Pledge, the four G’s.
    4. We are inspired and empowered by what God has already done and continues to do for us.
      1. We are powerless in our own strength (Romans 7:15).
      2. The foundation for peacemaking and reconciliation is our justification by God’s grace through faith in Christ (Romans 3:24, John 14:27, 2 Corinthians 5:17-21, Ephesians 2:8-9, Philippians 2:1-4, Colossians 1:20, 3:12-15).
      3. Jesus is our perfect model of a peacemaker: he died for us while we were yet sinner (Romans 5:8, Philippians 2:5-11), he suffered wrongs without retaliation (1 Peter 2:23), he confronted others for their good (John 4:1-26), he loved and forgave even his enemies (Luke 23:34). He promises to work in us so that we may do the same things (Philippians 2:13, Colossians 3:15).
  4. How do we respond to conflict?
    1. Escape response – on one end of the spectrum (designed to get away from the pressure).
      1. Denial – pretend the conflict does not exist or refuse to deal with it properly.
      2. Flight – run away from the person with whom you have conflict (which is appropriate if someone is in danger).
      3. Suicide – which is always the wrong response to conflict.
    2. Attack responses – on the other end of the spectrum (designed to bring pressure on your opponent to defeat them).
      1. Litigation – a matter is taken to civil authorities for a decision.
      2. Assault – use force or intimidation to force submission.
      3. Murder – which is always the wrong response to conflict.
    3. Conciliation responses – on the middle area of the spectrum (designed to find just and mutually agreeable solutions to conflict). The first three are personal, the latter three are communal.
      1. Overlook an offense – walk away and forgive (Proverbs 19:11, 12:16, 17:14, 1 Peter 4:8, Colossians 3:13).
      2. Discussion – personal offenses are resolved through confession or confrontation, leading to forgiveness and reconciliation (Matthew 18:15, 5:23-24, Galatians 6:1-3, Proverbs 28:13).
      3. Negotiation – substantive offenses are resolved through a bargaining process to reach a mutually agreed upon settlement, involving compromise and collaboration (Philippians 3:3-4).
      4. Mediation – one or two others will meet with the parties to improve communication and facilitate a resolution (Matthew 18:16). Solutions can only be suggested.
      5. Arbitration – When the parties cannot come to a voluntary solution, the arbiter has the power to render a binding solution.
      6. Church discipline – When a Christian party refuses to do what is right and just, the church family intervenes to promote repentance and reconciliation (Matthew 18:17-20). Note that relationship is more important than worship (Matthew 5:23-24).

Conflict Provides Opportunities:

  1. To glorify God – show him honor and respect, bring him praise, to be a witness for what he has done in your life.
    1. Trust him (Psalm 37:5-6).
    2. Obey him (John 14:15).
    3. Imitate him (Ephesians 5:1-2).
  2. To serve other people.
    1. Help carry their burdens (Galatians 6:2, 10).
    2. Help them change through constructive confrontation (Galatians 6:1).
    3. Teach and encourage others by example (1 Timothy 4:12, Titus 2:7).
  3. To grow into the image of Christ (Romans 8:28-29, 2 Corinthians 3:18, James 1:3-4, Romans 5:3-4, Hebrews 12:7-13).
    1. Conflict humbles us to remember our need for God (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).
    2. Conflict confronts us to uncover sinful attitudes and habits (Psalm 119:67, 71).
    3. Conflict provides an opportunity of cast off the old self through repentance and faith, and put on the new self created to be like Jesus (Ephesians 4:22-24).
    4. Conflict helps us practice godly habits (1 Timothy 4:7, Hebrews 5:14). Remember the ABC’s (Adversity Builds Character).
  4. Opportunity, leads to Responsibility, which leads to Stewarding (a biblical approach to conflict). Stewarding requires an accurate view of God.
    1. If you believe that God is limited in power or his love is inconsistent, you will find it difficult to trust and obey his commands. Now you will take matters into your own hands.
    2. Since God is omnipotent, omniscient, immutable, and omnipresent, he is unlimited and in charge. (Isaiah 46:10, Daniel 2:20-22, 4:34-37).
    3. God is also all-loving, holy, just, gracious, good, merciful, and faithful. He is for us (Psalm 62:11-12, Isaiah 43:2-3, Matthew 10:30-31).
    4. Therefore, all that happens does not take God by surprise (Matthew 10:29-30, Exodus 4:10-12, Proverbs 16:4-5, Acts 2:23, 1 Thessalonians 3:3, 1 Peter 4:12-19, Genesis 45:5, 50:20, Daniel 3:16-18).
    5. Stewarding means trusting that God is always up to something good, even when his purposes are not clear (Deuteronomy 29:29).
    6. Stewarding views conflict as an assignment, not an unfortunate accident.
    7. Stewarding focuses on faithfulness more than results (Matthew 25:21, Luke 12:42-47, John 12:24-26).

Peacemaking is Not Optional: (Romans 12:18)

  1. Three dimensions of peace.
    1. Peace with God (Colossians 1:19-20, Romans 5:1-2).
    2. Peace with other people (Romans 12:18).
    3. Peace within ourselves (Isaiah 32:17, 48:18, 26:3, Romans 3:20-22, Matthew 22:39).
  2. Jesus’ reputation depends on peace and unity.
    1. The priestly prayer of Jesus (John 17:20-23).
    2. The command of Jesus (John 13:34-35).
    3. The worship of Jesus (Matthew 5:23-24).
  3. Make every effort – Ephesians 4:1-3, Romans 15:5-7, 1 Corinthians 1:10, Galatians 5:19-22, Colossians 3:13, 15, 1 Thessalonians 5:13-15).
  4. Conflict resolution inside the church, not the courts (1 Corinthians 6:1-8).
    1. It’s a bad witness.
    2. It ignores the root problem.
    3. It does not bring peace or reconciliation.
  5. Peacemaking is not optional (Matthew 5:9).

Is This Really Worth Fighting Over? (Proverbs 19:11)

  1. Two kinds of “logs” to remove.
    1. A critical negative attitude that leads to unnecessary conflict.
    2. An actual sinful words and actions.
  2. Overlooking minor offenses (Proverbs 12:16, 19:11, 17:14, 1 Peter 4:8, Colossians 3:13).
    1. Why? To imitate the Lord (Psalm 103:8-10)
    2. When? If the offense is not dishonoring to God, if your relationship has not been permanently damaged, if others are not being hurt.
  3. Change your attitude (Philippians 4:2-9).
    1. Rejoice in the Lord always (Philippians 4:4).
    2. Let your gentleness be evident to all (Philippians 4:5).
    3. Replace (cover or control) anxiety with prayer (Philippians 4:6-7).
    4. See things as they truly are (Philippians 4:8).
    5. Practice what you have learned (Philippians 4:9).
  4. Count the cost (Matthew 5:25-26).
  5. Remember the rights and privileges given by God (1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1, Matthew 25:24-27). This R does not stand for rights, but responsibility (to glorify God, serve others, to grow into the likeness of Christ).

Examine Yourself: (Proverbs 28:13)

  1. Take an honest look at yourself (Psalm 139:23-24)
  2. Repentance is more than a feeling.
    1. Mere remorse leads to further grief (2 Corinthians 7:10).
    2. Godly sorrow comes when we see sin for what it is, a personal offense against God (Luke 15:18, Genesis 39:9, Psalm 51:3-4).
    3. Genuine repentance involves a change of heart and a new way of thinking (Luke 15:17, Isaiah 55:7-8).
    4. Genuine repentance leads to changed behavior (Acts 26:20, Matthew 3:8) resulting in confession, repair, and change.
    5. The benefits of confession and genuine repentance.
      1. Clear conscience before God.
      2. The first step toward constructive change.
      3. Sets an example for others to follow.
  3. The seven A’s of confessions – never make a confession just to get a burden off your shoulders.
    1. Address everyone involved (Psalm 41:4, Luke 19:8).
    2. Avoid if, but, and maybe (Psalm 51).
    3. Admit specifically what you did.
      1. Sinful attitudes (Matthew 15:19, James 3:13-4:12, 1 John 2:15-17).
      2. Sinful words – reckless words (Proverbs 12:18, 15:1), complaining or grumbling (Philippians 2:14, James 5:9), Deception or twisting (Exodus 20:16, Proverbs 24:28), gossip (Proverbs 11:13, 16:28, 20:19, 26:20, 1 Timothy 5:13), slander (Leviticus 19:16, 2 Timothy 3:3, Titus 2:3), worthless talk (Ephesians 4:29).
      3. Sinful actions – not keeping your word (Matthew 5:37, Psalm 15:1, 4), not respecting authority (Mark 10:42-45, Romans 13:1-7, 1 Peter 2:18-25), not treating others like you want to be treated (Matthew 7:12).
    4. Apologize expressing sincere sorrow for how you affected the other person.
    5. Accept the consequences (Luke 15:19, Numbers 5:5-7, Luke 19:8).
    6. Alter your behavior (Ephesians 4:22-32).
    7. Ask for forgiveness (Genesis 50:17).
    8. Allow time – OK, there’s an eighth A.

When Should You Go and Confront Someone?

  1. When someone has something against you (Matthew 5:21-24)
    1. You may be able to clarify a misunderstanding.
    2. You may learn that you were actually wrong.
    3. You may help to deliver the other person from the bitterness of unforgiveness.
  2. When someone’s sins are too serious to overlook (Matthew 18:15)
    1. Is it dishonoring to God? (Romans 2:21-24).
    2. Is it damaging to your relationship?
    3. Is it hurting other people (including you – Luke 17:2-3, 1 Corinthians 5:6)?
    4. Is it hurting the offender?
  3. Issues of confrontation.
    1. You are not to be a busybody (2 Thessalonians 3:11, 1 Timothy 5:13, 2 Timothy 2:23)
    2. You should not listen to excuses for not confronting someone.
      1. The Bible says not to judge (Matthew 7:1-5)
      2. Isn’t God the one who will show someone they are wrong? (2 Samuel 12:1).
      3. Confrontation is needed when someone is caught in a sin (Galatians 6:1).
      4. The purpose of confrontation is to restore the offender to usefulness to God (Galatians 6:1).
    3. The same principles apply to non-believers (Galatians 6:10).
    4. The same principles apply to persons in authority (2 Samuel 12:1).
  4. Communication skills.
    1. Speak only to build others up (Ephesians 4:29).
    2. Listen carefully – waiting (Proverbs 18:13), concentrating (Matthew 7:12), clarifying (Are you saying? Would you give me an example?), reflecting (From your perspective, I was wrong. You really care about this issue), agreeing (You’re right, I should have… A lot of what you say is true. I understand how you feel).
  5. Elements of effective confrontation (Proverbs 12:18).
    1. Prayer.
    2. Choose the right time and place.
    3. Believe the best about the other person until you have the facts that prove otherwise (1 Corinthians 13:7).
    4. Talk in person whenever possible (Matthew 18:15).
    5. Plan your words.
    6. Use a gracious tone of voice and friendly body language.
    7. Be objective (facts vs. personal opinions or conclusions).
    8. Use the Bible carefully (don’t preach).
    9. Ask for feedback.
  6. Recognize your limitations (Romans 12:18, 2 Timothy 2:24-26).
    1. Your job – speak the truth in love as clearly and persuasively as possible.
    2. God’s job – to change the hearts and minds of other people.

When Should I Involve Other People? (Matthew 18:16)

  1. After you have attempted step one – to overlook minor offenses.
  2. After you have exhausted step two – to talk in private.
  3. Step three: take one or two others with you. The key is “refuses to listen.”
    1. Mutual agreement.
    2. Unilateral request.
    3. What do conciliators do?
      1. They encourage self-control and courtesy.
      2. They ask questions and clarify facts.
      3. They counsel and admonish by God’s Word.
      4. The expand resources.
      5. They observe and report to churches.
    4. What is the opponent is not a believer? (Galatians 6:10).
  4. Step four: tell it to the church (Matthew 18:17).
  5. Step five: treat the other person as a non-believer (Matthew 18:17-20, 1 Corinthians 5:1-6, 2 Corinthians 2:5-11, 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15, Titus 3:10-11).
    1. “As” means a functional decision, not a heart decision.
    2. Treat sinners like Jesus treated sinners – love them enough to tell them the truth.
    3. The purposes of church discipline:
      1. To prevent dishonor to God (Romans 2:23-24).
      2. To protect the purity of the church, preventing the offender from leading others into sin (1 Corinthians 5:1-13, Matthew 18:16).
      3. To restore the offender, leading them toward repentance (Galatians 6:1, Matthew 12:20, Acts 3:19).
    4. When to go to court?
      1. If you have exhausted church remedies (Matthew 18:15-20, 1 Corinthians 6:1-8).
      2. If you are asserting biblically legitimate rights (not all rights are right).
      3. If you have a righteous purpose (so count the cost). Will it glorify God, benefit others, and is it necessary?

Forgive As God Forgave You (Ephesians 4:32)

  1. Forgiveness is not a feeling, nor forgetting, nor excusing (at first).
  2. Forgiveness is a decision.
    1. The major penalty of sin: personal separation (Isaiah 59:2, Romans 6:23).
    2. Forgiveness releases us from this penalty (Ephesians 2:13, Jeremiah 31:34, Psalm 103:12).
    3. Four promises modeled after God’s forgiveness (Matthew 6:12, Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4:32, 1 Corinthians 13:5, Psalm 130:3-4).
      1. I promise I will not think about this incident.
      2. I promise I will not bring up this incident and use it against you.
      3. I promise I will not talk to others about this incident.
      4. I promise I will not allow this incident to stand between us hinder our personal relationship.
    4. When you forgive, you tell them the real source of their forgiveness is Jesus Christ, and promised to forgive when we confess (1 John 1:9).
  3. When should you forgive? (Luke 17:3, Mark 11:25, Luke 6:37).
    1. The ideal biblical response to sin: repentance, confession, restitution, and change.
    2. Promise #1 – forgiveness
      1. Conditional – a commitment made to the offender.
      2. Ideally, after repentance and confession.
      3. Minor offenses may be forgiven even if there is no confession or repentance.
      4. Major offenses – these promises may be delayed until the problem is resolved following Matthew 18.
  4. What are the consequences?
    1. There is a time for mercy (Matthew 18:21-25, Luke 15:21-32).
    2. There is a time for consequences (Psalm 99:8, Proverbs 19:19, Numbers 14:20-23) Forgiveness of personal offenses does not necessarily release a person from the material consequences of their actions.
  5. Overcoming unforgiveness.
    1. Unforgiveness will separate you from God (Matthew 18:35, Mark 11:25).
    2. Renounce sinful attitudes and unrealistic expectations (Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13).
      1. Expecting the offender to earn or deserve forgiveness.
      2. Desiring to punish the offender.
      3. Demanding a guarantee.
    3. Remember that our baptism into Christ and experience God’s daily forgiveness (Matthew 18:21-35).
    4. Draw on God’s strength (Philippians 2:13).
  6. Reconciliation and the replacement principle.
    1. Reconciliation means that the relationship is restored at least to the condition it was before the conflict arose (Matthew 5:23-24, 6:12, 2 Corinthians 2:5-11, 5:18-21).
    2. Reconciliation usually take deliberate work.
    3. The replacement principle (Luke 6:27-28, Leviticus 19:18, Ephesians 4:22-24).
      1. In thought (Philippians 4:8).
      2. In word (Romans 12:14).
      3. In deed (Romans 12:20).
    4. It’s not forgive and forget, but forgive TO forget.

A Biblical Approach to Negotiating (Philippians 2:1-4)

  1. Cooperative vs. competitive negotiation.
    1. Competing is appropriate in some cases, but neglects the problems and needs, results in inadequate solutions, is inefficient, and damages relationship.
    2. Cooperating is preferred (Matthew 7:12, 1 Corinthians 10:24, 13:4-5, Matthew 22:39).
  2. When you negotiate – PAUSE.
    1. Prepare.
    2. Affirm relationships.
    3. Understand interests.
    4. Search for creative solutions.
    5. Evaluate options objectively and reasonably.
  3. Prepare (Proverbs 14:8, 22) – Pray, get the facts, identify issues and interests, study the Bible, seek godly counsel, anticipate reactions, pick a good time and place, and plan your opening remarks.
  4. Affirm relationship (show respect and concern) – communicate in a courteous manner, spend time on personal issues, exercise authority with restrain, submit to authority in a godly manner, seek to understand the other’s point of view, look out for the interests of others, confront in a gracious manner, allow face saving, and give sincere praise and encouragement.
  5. Understand interests (1 Samuel 25:24-31, 32-35) Issue (an identifiable and concrete question), position (a desired outcome or definable perspective on an issue), and interest (what motivates people and gives rise to positions; a concern, desire, need. limitation, and something the person values).
  6. Search for creative solutions (Proverbs 14:8, Daniel 1:11-13)). When brainstorming, separate inventing from deciding, no idea is out of bounds.
  7. Evaluate options, don’t argue – look for God’s truth (Psalm 19:7, 111:10), get objective facts (Daniel 1:11-16), seek objective opinions from trusted advisors (Proverbs 12:15, Matthew 18:16), look behind the opinions of others and deal wisely with their opinions and objections, and the last resort (Matthew 18:15-20, 1 Corinthians 6:1-8, Romans 12:17-13:7).

Dealing with Unreasonable People (Romans 12:21)

  1. We have supernatural weapons (2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Luke 6:27-28, Ephesians 6:10-18).
  2. Control your tongue (Romans 12:14, 1 Peter 2:15).
  3. Seek godly advisors (identify with others, avoid being isolated – Romans 12:15-16).
  4. Keep doing what is right (Romans 12:17, 1 Peter 2:12, 15, 3:15-16, 1 Samuel 24).
  5. Recognize your limits (Romans 12:18-19).
  6. The ultimate weapon: deliberate, focused love (Romans 12:20-21, Luke 6:27-36).
    1. Demonstrate love (Romans 5:8, 1 John 3:16).
    2. Doing good can protect you from your own bitterness and resentment.
    3. Doing good can help to bring another person to repentance.

We’d Rather be on the Bench?

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Ken has been very clearly sharing each week about the reality of community life in the church, which causes us to think about our current relationship with God. Perhaps his biblical challenges have forced you to admit that we as a church have often been simply a casual fan of Jesus, rather than a committed follower of Jesus.

We believe just enough to know that heaven is the place we want to go after this life, but not enough to make actual changes in our lives that will allow God to use us and therefore make an eternal impact on his kingdom.

We believe the mission and purpose of God is to call out pastors, teachers, and missionaries to build his kingdom, but we settle for sitting on the bench, or sidelines, never really wanting to get into the game.

  • We’re glad we “made the team” by saying YES to Jesus at some point in the past.
  • We’re wearing the team uniform so others know we are on God’s team, but we really don’t make an impact on the team’s success.
  • We know there’s a playbook we have been given, but admit we have not read it enough to know the team strategy.
  • We regularly show up at practice, but make little preparation for the actual game.
  • We’re content to just sit here on the bench and leave reading the playbook and running the plays to the starting team.

We think to ourselves…

  • “I don’t expect to get in the game so I’m just fine sitting here on the bench, dressed out, and wearing my team’s colors.”
  • “I don’t really like practice all that much: the coach is always telling us what to do and how to do it.”
  • “I don’t like that the coach makes the whole team run, shoot, get in shape, hone our skills, and get prepared for the games.”
  • “I admit that don’t really DO all that stuff. I prefer just sitting over here on my team bench, next to this little orange water cooler filled with Gatorade.”

So, you may be asking, “Why are you even on this team?”

“Well, it’s because I like the crowd cheering for me and my team, knowing I just might make it to the Final Four and the Championship Game because of all the dedication, commitment, skills, and efforts of those five starters who get all the playing time.”

Wow, I didn’t think I would take this illustration so far, but the more I thought about it, how often is this true in the church?

  • My faith is all about ME.
  • My faith is personal.
  • My church is also about ME, and my preferences.
  • My church is here, people know how to find us.
  • My spiritual growth is optional.
  • Finding my place of service is optional.

But the Bible begs to differ. Faith is not something that we just have or live out personally or in isolation. There is way too much evidence in Scripture that the Christian faith is meant to be carried out in the context of community.

We often seek God’s will in our own lives but fail to realize that God has a will for HIS church.

  • The church is the gathered group of Jesus followers.
  • The church is people, those who have confessed allegiance to the One who bought them and saved them, not just to sit and soak, but to serve.
  • The church is gifted to do exactly what the Lord desires for each of us to do and accomplish.

I’m not talking about just volunteering, although that is expected when we have a corporate mentality of Christianity. I’m talking about truly understanding what the church is all about.

  • What does God expect of the church?
  • What is God’s vision that he has shown to pastor Ken?
  • What does a disciple of Jesus look like?
  • Why do we gather in worship?
  • What is the Great Commission (Acts 1:8) and how am I supposed to be a part of it?
  • What are my spiritual gifts and where can I exercise or use them?

Jesus mentioned that there are two great commandments: to love God, and then to love others (Matthew 28:18-20, Matthew 22:36-40). The whole law can be summed up in these two commands, but the Bible also has a lot to say about HOW we live as believers and followers and disciples of Jesus.

This is why Ken has spent so much time casting vision for King’s Grant, defining who we are as a church, helping us to discover our spiritual gifts, and how to exercise and employ the gifts of grace that God has so thoughtfully supplied.

Let God have his way for this church (Philippians 1:6). Stop being content to sit on the bench.

Shepherds in the Church

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I read and recommend Jim Putman’s book called, “Church is a Team Sport.” As followers of Jesus, we know that the Bible uses the imagery of a shepherd to describe the leadership in a church, but many pastors and leaders fail to lead the sheep as God intends. Here are a few quotes from the book…

Jesus gave us the example of a true shepherd when He gave up His life for us. In Acts 20:28, Paul tells the elders to shepherd the flock of which he had made them overseers. He reminds the leaders in that passage that the sheep were purchased by God.

God describes His expectations of a shepherd in Ezekiel 34:2–10. [ read more about shepherds here and here ]

We see God judging the shepherds because they failed to fulfill their responsibility—they had not fed the sheep but only themselves.

In Ezekiel 34, the sheep were not cared for. When they were hurt, they were not nursed back to health. When they strayed or were lost, the shepherd didn’t look for them. They became food for wild animals. This is what happens in the church when God’s people are not shepherded.

Unfortunately, sheep stink, bite, and wander, and they can be stubborn. Yet God expects shepherds to care for His flock.

Many pastors teach but are not around when the sheep need help. Granted, a pastor can’t do everything, but his responsibility is to make sure all the positions on the team are filled.

Every coach needs to have a game plan for shepherding the hurting and chasing strays. We are often like the hired hand Jesus talks about. When the wolf comes, we run or ignore the plight of the sheep because we don’t really love them.

Sometimes, shepherding means getting dirty. People’s lives are messy, and it takes time for the Lord to clean them up. Too often our lives are so busy that the only people we can see ourselves working with are those who won’t take much time. We don’t think in terms of relationship; we think in terms of information.

Most of us think this means writing better sermons, but you have heard the true statement that “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” A leader must be someone who knows his sheep and understands their needs. He leads them, teaches them, and models for them how to serve God and others. There is mutual accountability and trust. The shepherd knows when his sheep have succeeded, and he celebrates with them. He knows when they feel defeated and need encouragement and support. He grieves with them, and when the sheep wander, he does all he can to get them back on track.

When a church becomes a shepherding community, when they care for the needs of others, when they help people beat the habits that have always beaten them, when they dare to be real, others can’t help but notice. They see joy and a change in the person they have always known, and they become interested—even excited. At the very least, they keep watching.

Fully Engaged in My Church

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In the book, unChristian, I discovered that Christianity has an image problem. We just heard random people on the street talk about their impressions of the church. They’re talking about us. We are boring, hypocritical, deceptive, interested more in conversion than the person themselves, too political, anti-choice and anti-women, anti-homosexual… like we’re known more for what we are against than what we stand for. The question of the day is, “What would anyone in our society want to be connected to the church, much less become fully engaged?” I hope I am able to come up with an answer over the next 15 minutes.

Last week the message was on the importance of being fully engaged with God, so this week I’m going to talk about the local church being the key to our engagement with God!

The key verse: 2 Chronicles 16:9 – The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

There is power in a fully committed life, but what does it actually look like?

  1. Careful student of Scripture
  2. Zealous and active in their stand for God
  3. Appetite for worship and prayer
  4. Consistent in worship attendance
  5. Practices Scripture memorization
  6. Not afraid to pray in public
  7. Active in the local church
  8. Fasts and tithes regularly
  9. Has desire to stand against blasphemy and ungodliness
  10. Has firm grasp of basic foundational theological truth

For a long time I thought this is what would honor God and help me become more like Jesus, to become fully engaged with God and my church. But look again; these 10 behavior traits don’t look much like the disciples. I dare say they are not of Jesus’ disciples at all, but of his chief opponents, the Pharisees. Perhaps you’ll take a look at this post on What Does a Disciple Look Like?

I’m convinced that real-life discipleship (becoming more like Jesus in character and attitude) is what happens between the gathering times at church. What are people like at home, at school, in the lunchroom, in the office, on dates, at parties, in the locker room, in the boardroom, on the computer, or at the after-school job? What are they like when no one is looking? Do they demonstrate unconditional love, joy, peace, patience, concern for others, kindness, servanthood?

I also believe that real-life discipleship is also marked more by footprints than by monuments. For me, discipleship focuses on long-term commitments rather than a one-time decision to “accept Christ” or to become a Christian. It involves forward motion, a journey, a marathon. People may look at imperfection and failures of so-called Christians, but remember that the word disciple means learner, not expert.

At the beginning I want to remind you that we need to develop what I call firsthand faith. This is not faith inherited from parents, or Sunday school teachers or the pastor, but we take ownership of our own faith. Once faith becomes firsthand, it transforms into a conviction that will not be swayed by competing worldviews or other religions. Is there little wonder why teenagers often leave the faith when they leave home, or graduate God after they graduate high school?

Perhaps the church must stop trying to cram our bags with only the right beliefs and make us carry it because they said so. Rather, we should use questions and strategies that help people unpack the baggage they’ve been carrying. Re-examine the faith they have and discover why it’s in there.

So, how do you know that you are living out your own faith? I found a Gallup poll from October 2004 which described church members and non-members and their spiritual commitments, do they “strongly agree” to these nine factors.

  1. I spend time in worship or prayer every day.
  2. My faith is involved in every aspect of my life.
  3. Because of my faith, I have forgiven people who have hurt me deeply.
  4. Because of my faith, I have meaning and purpose in my life.
  5. My faith has called me to develop my given strengths.
  6. I will take unpopular stands to defend my faith.
  7. My faith gives me an inner peace.
  8. I speak words of kindness to those in need of encouragement.
  9. I am a person who is spiritually committed.

On the chart, notice that 39% spend time in worship or prayer on a daily basis, and 62% treat others with kindness or encouragement. Gallup also discovered that 90% of Americans believe in God or a higher power, yet as we see here, so few of them spend much time communicating with this God or higher power.

Overall, the results are that 22% of church members and only 3% of non-members are described as fully committed. The bottom line is that there is a disconnect between faith and practice in America.

So, what does it take to become fully engaged, sold out follower of Jesus in my church? I hope that this list will be something you use to evaluate yourself… “do I have this action, am I doing it, am I not doing it?

1. I take responsibility daily for my spiritual growth.

Key phrases: Take Responsibility, let’s say it together. Once more.

Think about a brand new baby, we have to do everything: feed, change, clean. Babies need someone to help them grow, but there comes a point when they have to be responsible for their own growth. Bethany’s hungry, when she was little I had to do everything, but now she can walk to the refrigerator and get something all by herself.

Can you imagine your child when he or she was in a high chair? It’s fine when they’re two, but now that they are 35 it’s a little weird. A lot of Christians are like this… feed me, feed me! It’s like they still want to be in the high chair, but it has turned into an “I” chair, because they really think it’s all about me, and what I can get. So, that’s the first step of becoming fully engaged with my church.

James 4:8 – Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.

How do you start? Draw close to God, instead of living this divided life. Listen, you are as close to God right now as you want to be. God is not playing hide and seek.

2. I practice contentment in all areas of my life.

I am basically asking if you are satisfied with your life. Surveys show us that Americans are a pretty dissatisfied group. We are always discontent; climbing the corporate ladder, finding the right spouse, driving the better car, buying the next iPhone or gadget.

So, on a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with your marriage, relationships, job, career, where you live? Notice that discontentment comes when we can’t enjoy the NOW because we are too stuck in the past or too focused on the future. I have struggled with this, coming from Chatham and the small town life to the busyness of Virginia Beach. I could walk to the church, to Hargrave Military Academy where I taught, to my favorite Mexican restaurant right on main street.

Others look in the other direction, into the future, so they are not content in the present. They are not fully engaged in the church because they know they are stationed here for a short time and know they will move, so why get more involved? Besides, it hurts when we make friends only to leave in a short time, so why risk the pain?

Philippians 4:12 – I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.

Do not let the past or the future rob you of the joy and contentment your have today!

3. I serve others and not just attend church.

Here is where it gets practical; from taking responsibility and contentment to something very practical. Service is a very real path to engagement in my church. Serving others is also the Jesus path to greatness.

John 12:26 – Anyone who wants to be my disciple must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the Father will honor anyone who serves me.

So, how are you serving Jesus? You start by volunteering to meet needs… preschool help, Operation Inasmuch, setting up for classes, teaching a class, making phone calls, folding letters, chaperoning a youth event.

There are plenty of people in this congregation that always step up to the plate when there is a need, and others that always seem to let others step up. They say people in our society desire anonymity when it comes to church, but that is not what church is about, it is about community, faith, and love.

What must we do if we desire greatness? Here is what Jesus said…

Matthew 23:11 – The greatest among you must be a servant.

4. I invite people to come to my church.

Inviting people does not always mean they will come. But are you generally excited about what God is doing here? Do you see lives changed? Needs met? Purpose realized? Coming to understand a spiritual truth when you finally get it, it just clicks?

Do we really believe that people are lost without hope if they reject the good news of Christ? Sometimes we just get comfortable with our small group and are not interested in growing. We always say that we want to grow, but what steps do we take to actually grow, what sacrifices do we make to help growth to happen?

Do you pray for lost people you know? Do you stretch yourself and get out of your comfort zone? When was the last time you took a step a faith and actually “got out of the boat” because Jesus was out of the boat walking on the water?

Colossians 4:2-6 – Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning Christ. That is why I am here in chains. Pray that I will proclaim this message as clearly as I should. Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

How are you doing with the checklist? Responsibility, Contentment, Service, Inviting people? The last item is a very practical step.

5. I bring my tithe to God each week.

The Bible tells us that what you do with your money is the one initial and greatest signs of your engagement with God! Let me illustrate.

When Stephen was young, we would occasionally eat out at fast food places. It happened that I finished my fries, none left, and saw Stephen had quite a few on his tray, so I reached over and took a few. To my surprise he objected, “Those are mine.”

  • Did he not know that I’m the one who bought him the fries in the first place? Perhaps next time I would not buy any fries at all, then where would he be?
  • Does he know realize that I can go up to the counter and buy more fries than he could possibly eat?
  • Does he underestimate my strength? I could just take all of his fries away from him. So, what’s up with, “Those are mine?”

In the church, it’s like God saying to us, “If you want me to bless your life, just share your fries.” And we just cross our arms and say – no. God just wants 10% and for us to realize that we wouldn’t have anything if it were not for Him.

Malachi 3:10 – Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!

  • Bring – Bring (as Paul says, on the first day of the week – 1 Corinthians 16:2) what you have purposed in your heart, don’t rob God of what He requires.
  • All the tithe – Ten percent, not a potion of what is left over at the end of the month.
  • Into the storehouse – This represents the church, so don’t split it up between several worthy causes. Support other causes with your offerings, not your tithe.
  • Put Me to the test – See what happens as we honor God in this area; a blessing so great we won’t know what to do with it.

Ultimately, this is not a money issues, it is a heart issue. Jesus said that where your treasure is, there will be your heart also. (Matthew 6:19-21)

So, these are the fruits of an engaged life. Taking responsibility, experiencing contentment, serving God and others through the church, inviting people into the fellowship, and bringing the tithe to God each week. How are you in all these areas? What is the fruit of your life? Do you have all five? Which one can you work on this week?

Matthew 7:16-17 – You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit.

I trust you will step out in faith today and bear the fruit that God desires and deserves.

What We Need From Pastors

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Today, I was reading Brian Dodd on Leadership. A good word for pastors…

We want our pastors to work on their craft, to be prepared, to think of new and creative ways to communicate the timeless message of Jesus Christ. But because of the over-abundance of pastoral talent and our access to it, we no longer need slickness and craftiness.

Here are a Few Things we Need:

  1. When you stand up on Sunday, we do not need you to impress us with your brilliance and insight. We just need to know you have been with alone with God and he has marked your life.
  2. We do not need a talk. We need you to have a message for us from the Ancient of Days addressing the issues we face at this point and time in human history.
  3. We need you to have calloused knees on our behalf.
  4. We need you to elevate the importance of the Bible. It is God’s Word on paper and we want to know what it says.
  5. We need you to preach the truth of Scripture, the virgin birth, the sinless life of Jesus, and Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection.
  6. We need you to tell people there is a heaven and a hell and everyone will go to one or the other.
  7. We need you to challenge us to live righteous and holy lives.
  8. We need you to prioritize the pursuit of personal holiness over the pursuit of personal freedoms.
  9. We need you to be a picture of the desired destination at which you wish for us to arrive.
  10. We need you to put your relationship with God above all else and your family second.

Here are a Few Things we Need for You to Know:

  1. We need you to know how much we love and admire you.
  2. We need you to know how often we pray for you.
  3. We need you to know how much we appreciate the fact you could make far more money consulting or in corporate America but you choose to pastor sheep like us.
  4. We need you to know how much we look forward to hearing you each Sunday.
  5. We need you to know we have you and your family’s back.
  6. We need you to know we were glad you were there at our most defining moments – weddings, funerals, baptisms and baby dedications.
  7. We need you to know how sorry we are for saying stupid, uneducated, and ill-advised things we deeply regretted later on.
  8. We need you to know we should have paid you more.
  9. We need you to know that if you need anything, all you have to do is ask.
  10. We need you to know how glad we are you did not resign this past Monday but decided to come back for another Sunday.

[print_link] [email_link] [ Brian Dodd on Leadership ]

Statements that Kill a Church

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Six Statements That Can Kill a Church

Words can kill churches because they often have deadly actions behind them. As we begin this new year, please allow me to share six statements that I have heard from church members whose churches have died.

Please hear that last statement again: These are statements from church members whose churches have already closed their doors. I am convinced these statements were major contributors to the churches’ demise.

“We pay our pastor to do evangelism.” The common meaning behind this statement is that the members have no intentions of sharing their faith. A church with non-evangelistic members is a dying church.

“Without our money, this church would be in trouble.” Ouch! The key word here is “our.” Members with this attitude do not give with an open hand; they perceive the money they give to the church is their money, not God’s money. This tight-fisted non-stewardship, if prevalent in the church, is a sure sign of sickness or death.

“This church is not meeting my needs.” For certain, members’ needs should be met. But have you noticed that, often times, the most needy members are the first to complain and the first to leave? We should certainly care for the needs of the flock, but the attitude of the members should be that of serving instead of being served.

“We pay the salary of the pastor and staff, so they should listen to us.” This deadly statement has two major inflictors of pain. First, the money is treated with a tight fist, as I noted above. Second, the money is used to control leaders. I served in a church where a member made that statement to me frequently. Years after I left, I learned he never gave a dollar to the church.

“We will let the next generation deal with change.” When older generations make this statement, they are resolutely refusing to make necessary and immediate changes. Sadly, the next generations won’t stick around in such a church to make the changes.

“I was here years before the pastor came; I’ll be here years after he’s gone.” This statement is one of power and control rather than service and giving. It’s about out-lasting each pastor to keep the church just the way the member wants it. It’s a statement that was commonly heard in churches that have closed their doors.

I remain an obnoxious optimist about our local congregations. But, sadly, many will die in this year and the next. Most of them will have had members who made these six deadly statements.

[print_link] [email_link] [ This is directly from Thom Rainer’s blog ]

Church With an Equipping Culture

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A Church with an Equipping Culture is…

  1. Being diligent to work together as a unified team (Ephesians 4:1-6)
  2. Doing spiritual gift assessment, affirmation & placement (Ephesians 4:7-10)
  3. Expecting its staff to be Equippers rather than “the Ministers” (Ephesians 4:11)
  4. Releasing its members to do the “work of ministry” (Ephesians 4:12)
  5. Seeing people become more like Christ (Ephesians 4:13)
  6. Producing new converts who are becoming doctrinally sound (Ephesians 4:14)
  7. Speaking the truth in love to one another (Ephesians 4:15)
  8. Experiencing growth through every member contributing (Ephesians 4:16)

[print_link] [email_link] [Based on my classes with Richard D. Leineweber, Jr. c. 2000]

Evangelism in Today’s Culture

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proverbs-28-13Our message must never change, but the way we deliver that message must be constantly updated to reach each new generation. In other words, our message of transformation must never change while the transformation of our presentation should be continual, adapting to the new languages of our culture.

Lost people have a need for meaning, a need for purpose, a need for forgiveness, a need for love. They want to know how to make right decisions, how to protect their family, how to handle suffering, and how to have hope in our world. These are all issues we have answers for, yet millions are ignoring the message of Christ because we insist on communicating in ways that make little sense anymore.

In a sense, we’ve made the Gospel too difficult for a changing culture to understand. Let me give you this analogy: Imagine a missionary going overseas and saying, “I’m here to share the Good News, but first you have to learn to speak my language, learn my customs, and sing my style of music.” You can immediately see why this strategy would fail!

Yet, we do that all the time in a culture that is in radical flux. If we want to reach people in the current century, we must start thinking differently. I believe the most overlooked requirement in the church is to have spiritually mature members – members who unselfishly limit their own preferences of what they think a church should look like in order to reach lost people for Christ. As Jesus said in Luke 5:38, “New wine must be poured into new wineskins!”

Here’s a simple tradition to break in the 21st century: stop thinking of the church as an institution. Emerging generations are desperately looking for community. You and I may know that the church is a community, but emerging generations have never seen it that way. They’ve seen a list of rules, not a loving community. This is a prime example of an opportunity to restate the eternal truths of the Bible in a fresh, contemporary way.

Emerging generations are also focused on the experiential, and that means we have to adjust the way we teach and preach because most traditional churches focus almost exclusively on the intellect. In the 21st century church, we not only want people to know about God, we also want them to actually encounter God.

Of course, this means rather than preaching simply for information, we should also preach for action. Our message is not meant to just inform, but to transform the lives of those in our congregation. In almost every single sermon I preach every point has a verb in it – something to do. What are you going to do now that you know this godly truth?

[print_link] [email_link]
[This is an excerpt from Rick Warren’s article at pastors.com ]

The Shepherd’s Staff

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The Shepherd’s Staff – Ezekiel 34:7-16

This is a difficult and ambiguous time at King’s Grant Baptist Church. It is hard to take in that the person who has shepherded us for all these years has decided to leave us. Many couples have been married, many family members have been buried. A pastor goes through life with us, we were a family.

On the other side, now we feel alone, vulnerable, anxious, and to some degree we feel betrayed by the simple fact that our pastor is going to shepherd other people instead of us. Yes, we recognize God’s calling on his life, and sometimes following that call moves our ministers in a different direction, but we grieve the loss none the less.

There is no doubt that losing a pastor can be a time of upheaval for a church. When a pastor simply retires after long and faithful service (like Jerry), or if he moves on to another area of service in response to God’s leading (like Skip), it can be a time of sweet sorrow. We can, and should lift him up in prayer and encourage him in his new adventure.

But there is also a flip side. We grieve the loss, the ambiguity, and the anxiety, the uncertainty: who will faithfully teach us the Bible? Who will do our wedding? Who will preach my funeral? Who will train me to be all that God wants me to be for his kingdom’s sake?

Then there is the inevitable posturing for leadership by various members of a congregation. This is generally done because some people sense a vacuum of leadership now that the CEO is gone. The thought is that WE need to gain control of the situation, perhaps others feel that no one can better lead during this time than so and so, and during this election year, we can tend to campaign for taking on such leadership. After all this potential tension, it comes down to trusting the body of Christ, and in the Holy Spirit who is leading the people of King’s Grant Baptist Church.

In order to help us through this difficult time, we must first begin with an understanding of exactly whom the church belongs to. The church does not belong to the pastor or to the leadership or even to the congregation. While we embrace congregational rule and autonomy in a Baptist church, we cannot lose sight of the fact of whose church this really is.

The church belongs to Christ. The Bible says that Christ is the Head of the church. The word church (ekklesia) literally means the “assembly of the called-out ones.” These called-out ones gather together to worship the head of the church, our Savior, our Lord, our True Shepherd.

The church (all those who profess faith in Jesus Christ) is committed to following the leadership of Christ in all that we do; by obeying Him, and even presenting an accurate image of Christ to a lost world who is constantly watching. The church is the body of Christ. He died for His body, and His body dies daily in order to live for Him. Until and unless church leadership is committed to this biblical model and the congregation comes to grips with this truth, no pastor can really be successful.

So the first step in surviving the loss of a pastor is to understand the definition of the church. Additionally, we should be united in our understanding of and our commitment to the church, both the local church and the universal church. A lot of church conflict comes from a lack of unity in the beliefs of the church and the commitments of the church to its mission and purpose. The church is not about US, the church is about and FOR him. So, before beginning to seek a new pastor, the church, the body, must agree on the true leader of the church.

It is amazing that when we have a proper Christology, other issues become very clear. As an example, our understanding of Christ will determine our understanding of our mission; which in turn determines our understanding of church. We cannot get this out of order. For the visually inspired, it looks something like this:

Christology-Missiology-EcclesiologySecond, the church must understand and be committed to the sovereignty of God in all things. Nothing that happens is a surprise to God, God allowed this to accomplish his will and his purposes, for US and for HIM. God has assured us that, all things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). The church can take comfort in the knowledge that we are being led by the sovereign God who is involved in the details of everyday life and the ministry of his church.

Third, the departure of a pastor is a good time to reevaluate and/or redefine the mission and work of the church. There are obvious commands from Scripture—teaching and preaching the Word of God, being a people of prayer, worshipping and glorifying our heavenly Father, and fulfilling the Great Commission to make disciples. But we have to ask ourselves if we have moved from our original calling to be on mission; living with purpose and intentionality. Have we embraced a more comfortable lifestyle and do we emphasize our own worship preferences? We must ask the question, as John says in the Revelation, “Have we lost our first love, and left the mission and vision that Jesus has for us?” Leaving our first love can manifest itself by promoting our own desires and preferences over Jesus and his mission, the lost, and God’s calling us to be on mission with him.

All this is to say, God is in charge, so we don’t have to take control of the situation. He knew that we would be going this long before the announcement was ever made. Nothing catches God off guard, and we don’t have to worry. Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you, Peter tells us (1 Peter 5:7). I believe that God is going to teach us something during this time. While our local shepherd has left us, the Good Shepherd will never leave us nor forsake us. We are NOT lost sheep and we are NOT left as orphans. God has a plan for us and we must simply trust that he is looking out for us!

This church has gathered under the leadership of the Holy Spirit; we have among us a fine group of servant leaders. You have a capable and faithful staff that is in place to care for the needs of this congregation and offer leadership during this interim time. It is my desire that the congregation have confidence in your current staff to guide us through this time of change and uncertainty.

Ok, so let’s get to this passage about shepherds in Ezekiel 34.

This passage begins with a look at the ungodly leaders of Israel, and the apostasy of the kings of Israel. When ungodly leaders lead God’s people, everyone suffers. While they are called “shepherds,” they are actually political leaders, perhaps kings. Of Israel’s 20 kings, ALL of them were weak, unspiritual, and evil leaders. Of the 20 kings of Judah, only six were good. Godliness was missing from every aspect of community life, just take a look at Ezekiel 22. Leaders used their strength to shed blood (Ezekiel 22:4, 6), prophets devoured people and seized their valuables, they multiplied widows (Ezekiel 22:25), the priests did violence and profaned the holy things of God (Ezekiel 22:26). So, with leaders like this, who will blame the people for practicing extortion, robbery, oppression of the poor, or exploitation of the foreigners, (Ezekiel 22:29). There is a great and sober truth at play here: people learn by example.

There was an absence of leadership in every way possible. And because if it, the Lord counted them all guilty of violating his trust and he announced their destruction. As a result, God’s lament over the situation is recorded in Ezekiel 22:30, “I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one.” The people needed a leader who would challenge them toward personal holiness and embrace God’s global purpose.

This verse of Scripture, Ezekiel 22:30, reminds me of a song years ago by Al Denson, called “Be the One”

In a world full of broken dreams, Where the truth is hard to find
For every promise that is kept, There are many left behind
Though it seems that nobody cares, It still matters what you do
Cause there’s a difference you can make, But the choice is up to you

Will you be the one, To answer to His call
Will you stand, When those around you fall
To take His light, Into a darkened world
Tell me will you be the one?

Instead of having leaders who were consumed by God’s glory, God’s mission, and leading the people for their own good, Israel’s shepherds were concerned with themselves, (Ezekiel 34:2). Look at some of the issues revealed in Ezekiel 34:1-8…

The False Shepherds (Ezekiel 34:1-8)

  1. They feed and water themselves (Ezekiel 34:1-3)
  2. They refuse to care for the weak, sick, injured (Ezekiel 34:4)
  3. They allow wild animals to devour them (Ezekiel 34:5-8)

It was the responsibility of the shepherds, the leaders, to care for the people, to protect them, and to see to it that their needs were met. But these selfish leaders of the kingdom of Israel had abused and exploited the people because they thought only of themselves.

The leaders not only exploited the sheep but they also abused them by neglecting to meet their needs. Sheep require constant care, but the leaders didn’t manage the nation’s affairs for the sake of the sheep, but for their own profit. They didn’t care for the sheep at all, but only for themselves. As I put this together, I thought, any resemblance to those in DC is purely coincidental.

False shepherds of the Old Testament had led the nation to ruin, yet God will come to rescue his people. True leaders don’t exploit their people—they sacrifice for them. Jesus, the true shepherd, set the example by laying down His life for His flock (John 10:10). I’ll talk more about this on Mother’s Day May 8.

Rather than focus on the ungodly shepherds of their day, I want to focus on that which God expects of US today, for the leaders of his sheep.

When I was a kid, one of my favorite shows was called, “the Dukes of Hazard.” At least once each week Uncle Jessie would get on the CB radio and call out, “Shepherd to lost sheep, shepherd to lost sheep, y’all got your ears on?” So, in this passage, while God has stern words for the shepherds, he will also comfort his people, because he has a message for his lost sheep.

God may have been chastising the shepherds, but he never gave up on his sheep. Check out what he expected the shepherd to do.

The Faithful Shepherd (Ezekiel 34:11-16)

  1. He seeks the sheep (Ezekiel 34:11)
  2. He cares for his sheep (Ezekiel 34:12a)
  3. He delivers or rescues his sheep (Ezekiel 34:12b)
  4. He gathers his sheep (Ezekiel 34:13)
  5. He feeds his sheep (Ezekiel 34:14-15a)
  6. He leads his sheep (Ezekiel 34:15b)
  7. He pastors his sheep (Ezekiel 34:16)
    1. Positive: seeks the lost, brings back the scattered, binds the broken, strengthens the sick (Ezekiel 34:16a)
    2. Negative: destroys the fat and strong, feeding them with judgment

I want you to notice the personal pronouns used in this section, Ezekiel 34:11-16. These are first person promises, some 25 promises in all. These promises include judgment as well as deliverance. When we read about all of the exploitation of the kings, these “I will” statements in Ezekiel 34 suggest God’s determination to be involved in the lives and destinies of his people. No longer will there be a human mediator between God and his people. The Messiah was to be the shepherd of God’s people.

God was leading the sheep for their own good, not as Israel’s shepherds had done, who were in it for themselves. After reading this list of what the faithful shepherd is going to do, why would the people of God want a different kind of king over them, other than God?

What about us? God wants to have authority over us, but we often feel that his authority is NOT in our best interest. Is he really looking out for us? Don’t I get a say in this? I have all of my life goals and plans, or the vision for this church, all set and they’re beginning to unfold, so don’t come in a make me change anything. Let me tell you, immediate obedience to God is always in our best interest; disobedience always brings vulnerability and downfall.

God wants to lead us for our own good. He is not a tyrant; he is one who wants to relate to us and carefully lead his sheep.

What I see here is actually pretty staggering; but the truth is that we DO NOT deserve this type of leadership. In case we are viewing ourselves as defenseless, fluffy, innocent sheep who are worthy of a sacrificial leader, we should always remember that just like Israel, we have often rejected God’s leadership. Perhaps we have even hated God’s leadership. In fact, every sin that we commit is actually a profession that WE are really in charge. Each sin is a reminder of our OWN reign in our lives, and a demotion of God’s reign. And we are ALL guilty, “All of us like sheep have gone astray, Each of us has turned to his own way;” (Isaiah 53:6).

In spite of our rebellion, God has never wavered from his desire to reconcile sinners to himself. No one has ever sacrificed so much, his own Son, to bring an ungrateful people into his presence.

So during this time of uncertainty of not having a senior pastor, I trust that you will have confidence in God’s direction and leadership, and in the earthly shepherds that our heavenly father has provided. We need, and have, shepherds (your staff members) who are looking out for your best interests. We are here to love you, care for you. We are here to challenge you to strive for God’s best, and to take risks for the kingdom’s sake. You are not left as orphans because our pastor is gone. This time in the life of our church is cause to embrace the True Shepherd who cares for us more than any earthly human being is ever able to do. Don’t fret, don’t worry, but have confidence in God, in our Savior, and in his timing. Anticipate and expect much greater things in our future. For his glory and his honor! Amen.

Next Steps:

  1. Will you commit yourself to prayer during this time, as we seek a new pastor?
  2. Will you commit yourself to others in this church through faithful participation and active service?
  3. Will you put your own desires and personal preferences aside as we seek to become a church focused on God’s mission and global purpose?
  4. In what ways will you seek the lost? Bring back the scattered? Bind the broken? Strengthen the sick? Feed or lead the sheep?
  5. In what ways will you meet the needs of others during this time of uncertainty?

Choosing a New Pastor

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Choosing a new pastor HAS to be different than an episode of The Bachelor, and let me tell you why.

It was disturbing to recently see a handout that takes the reader through the pastor search committee process. While much was in order and took the reader through the logical and practical steps in the process, there was a disturbing and concerning section that I want to address. Perhaps just writing this is therapy for me, because once the committee begins its work, I have no influence whatsoever on how they conduct their business.

One block in the process is to “narrow the field down to 6-10 potential candidates.” Certainly this is all well and good. But the next step was to “check all references” which is not so good. I am a fan of checking references, but at the proper time. After checking references, then the field is “narrowed to 3-4 top candidates,” and then visiting and interviews take place. As I read this, all I could think about was The Bachelor TV show.

While I have only seen commercials and never the show, the premise is for a room full of women to be wooed and seduced by a handsome eligible bachelor. The process involves a series of dates, conversations, and decisions. The show is known for its famous scene of giving a rose to the ones that move forward in the process, eliminating those who don’t make the cut.

Point of clarification: the following is written in general masculine for simplicity in language. I do not want to write him/her for every pronoun used.

Doing this to a potential pastor is simply not right. Contacting references before the candidate is in serious consideration is premature. The candidate is now vulnerable to those in his current position, should they find out a search committee is considering him. Everyone in the candidate’s circles of influence begin thinking he is perhaps on his way out, asking questions, and damaging his current ministry, especially if he does not “get the rose” eliminating him from the competition.

The simple fact that he is in a “competition” is humiliating enough; imagine yourself being courted my someone. You’re interested and think this could lead to something like a life-long commitment, only to discover down the road he has been dating other people all this time and chose someone else over you. Besides, a potential pastor wants to know that God has led you to him, rather than you’re throwing the dice hoping for the best.

So, how should this pastor search be done? After all of the preliminary stuff like congregational survey and church profile, when the time comes to get to the business of looking at candidates, I suggest this process (beginning with much prayer and seeking God’s direction).

  1. Gather resumes from multiple sources: local association or state convention; recommendations from people you trust; sites like ministermatching.com, etc. Beware of resumes that come from churches, groups, or individuals whose theology, methodology, or ecclesiology is not a good fit for our church.
  2. Copies of these confidential resumes are distributed to committee members to read and review. Messages on tape or mp3 are distributed as well.
  3. Each member picks out their top ten candidates based on the criteria for which they are seeking.
  4. In committee, everyone explains their selections to the rest of the group, and perhaps narrowing the field by pooling the candidates that many of the members have in common.
  5. Once you get to the top five choices, the committee puts these in priority order, and agree that candidate number one is the first to pursue.
  6. A visit is made to that pastor’s church to hear him preach live; no official committee contact is made. Make sure to call the church (like any guest might) to make sure the pastor is preaching that Sunday, and ask the time of the service. And don’t sit together as a group; don’t be obvious.
  7. The committee then decides if they want to contact him for an in-person interview.
  8. If all is satisfactory after the interview, then the committee requests confidential references. These reference should be called, not sent a reference form.
  9. If there are NO red flags at this point, the committee decides whether to extend and invitation for the candidate to visit the church, in private with the committee rather than publicly. The candidate and spouse visit the church and see the community to get a sense of who we are, and get a little of our history and the flavor of the church. The candidate may decide at this point to continue in the process or feel led that this is not the place.
  10. If there ARE red flags in the references or the interview, the committee may decide to move toward candidate number two. We thank candidate number one for his time and consideration but communicate that the committee decided it is not a good fit for the congregation.
  11. My recommendation is to work with one person at a time until such a time that God closes that door.

Once a candidate is unanimously selected, the committee is responsible to organize a “visit weekend,” in public, gathering with various groups within the congregation at various times for meeting, greeting, and questioning. Sunday is preaching day at the church. Then at a called business meeting, perhaps later that evening, the church would decide whether or not to extend a call that the candidate.

This is not The Bachelor, and these are solid reasons why we should employ a different method to select a new pastor.

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