I was reading the Lifeway magazine “Living with Teenagers” (Feb 2009) and it’s full of great information this month. One article on finding friends I find exceptionally noteworthy today:
Your teenager may have a couple hundred friends on his Facebook page, but how does s/he find real friends? How can parents help?
- Reflect on your own friends when you were a teen.
- Understand it takes some time.
- Get to know your teenager’s friends and pray for them.
- Help them to see that God is relational and created us to connect with others (Matthew 22:37-39).
- Help them think through the qualities of a good friend; perhaps define the word “friend.”
- Share examples of poor friends:
- Shallow friends (Proverbs 18:24),
- Foolish friends (Proverbs 13:20, Proverbs 14:17),
- Mean girls – and boys (Proverbs 12:26),
- Gossiping friends (Proverbs 16:28, Proverbs 20:19),
- Volatile friends (Proverbs 22:24-25),
- Fair weather friends (Proverbs 17:17).
Measure how good a friend you are (each question is worth 10 points):
- ____ I haven’t passed on any gossip this week; I keep things to myself.
- ____ I am a good listener; I make eye contact and ask follow-up questions.
- ____ I am even-tempered; I don’t explode or withdraw when upset.
- ____ I am happy for people, not threatened, when they succeed.
- ____ I feel sad when others (including those I don’t like) fail.
- ____ I have the skills to be honest about things that bother me in a relationship; when I’m honest the problem is usually resolved.
- ____ I appreciate someone who is honest with me; I receive it gracefully.
- ____ I take appropriate responsibility for my behavior.
- ____ One of my strengths is picking the right kind of friends.
- ____ I can avoid foolish and wicked people without creating a scene.
How’d you do? The closer to 100 you are, the better friend you are! Ask your friends to take the test with you in mind and see how the two compare.
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