Ok, I’m definitely no expert but I have done research and have a desire to help men (including myself) to become the best husbands they can be. This post is about learning to communicate, because without good communication, our wives will feel isolated and misunderstood.
There is a problem when men use “guy-to-guy” communication on our wives, we just see things differently! Here are four things we can do to better communicate at home:
Learn to Listen
Generally, a lot of men decide what they think before they talk, while many women decide what they think while they are talking. So, for this reason, women need to know that they have been heard. So the wise husband will…
- Seek out his wife when he comes home
- Ask her about her day
- Not take it personally if she’s upset
- Ask questions they let her know that he is engaged
Do you hear her, but rarely listen? Do you listen carefully rather than superficially? Think about the things that you hear and can identify. Don’t allow the obligations of everyday life interfere with the treasure you have in your wife.
Refuse to Be Mr. Fix-It
When the women shares feelings, most husbands see this as a call to action (drop everything and come to the rescue). But she really just wants to be understood, and problem-solving is a secondary issue. She often wants to talk about the problem rather than solve the problem.
Give Reassurance
Silence and withdrawal are often seen as rejection, so stop it! If you have to leave for an appointment, give her a word of reassurance, like, “I’m going out for a while and will be back soon to pick up where we left off.” Simple acts of kindness, like holding her hand in the car or opening the door for her can communicate reassurance.
Ask For Her Input
This will definitely help her to stay connected. What do you think about…? How do you feel about…? She is a valued part of your life and she needs to feel that she is important to you.
Now, when she’s upset, do not fan the flames! How often is it that she is upset, so you also become upset? Resist the temptation. Keep your cool, allow her to vent. A great verse to follow is James 1:19.
Face it, husbands are far less communicative than wives, so it is important that men understand that the strong silent type is not the role model we need. Also, wives connect by sharing feelings, so don’t just seek to find solutions, try to give some understanding and reassurance.
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