Typically, childhood sexual abuse is not a onetime, isolated incident, but rather a premeditated plan resulting in repeated abuse by a perpetrator. While the details of each victimization are different, perpetrators follow a typical course of behavior: intentionally seducing and then stimulating, silencing and then suppressing the victim. Once the victim is suppressed, the child loses all hope.
Seduction: The perpetrator emotionally seduces the child by developing intimacy, progressively building trust and giving pleasure. This is accomplished by becoming an attentive friend, showing preferential treatment, giving money, gifts, bribes or rewards.
Stimulation: The child feels pleasure in physical touch that seems appropriate, affirming and warm (playful wrestling and tender touching such as hugs and gentle back rubs). Over time the child becomes desensitized and vulnerable to a progression of more advanced sexual activity. The increased physical encroachment may not be enjoyable, but the increased sexual stimulation can be enjoyable. (By God’s design, the body naturally responds to sexual stimulation. While children eventually feel conflicted over the mixture of pain and pleasure, no guilt should ever be attributed to the child—the guilt belongs to the abuser alone.)
Silence: The perpetrator moves to ensure the victim’s silence through intimidation and fear-inducing threats. A warped sense of loyalty has already been cultivated within the child through special attention, gifts and privileges. Although the abuse may be a onetime event or continue for years, few victims ever tell. The destructive secret remains imbedded for years in a quagmire of ambivalent feelings such as love and hate, pleasure and shame, tenderness and terror. They feel rage at the reality of being in the relationship and rage at the possibility of losing the relationship. Meanwhile, abusers are keenly aware of their power over their innocent prey.
Suppression: When no one rescues the child from the abusive relationship, the child feels doubly betrayed. Any hope of ever being “saved” by anyone, including God, is destroyed. The child, feeling no choice but to bow to the supreme power of the perpetrator, slips quietly into enslavement. Then, when hopelessness reigns, the soul is suppressed and the light within the spirit is snuffed out.
The Bible describes men of deception: “There is no fear of God before his eyes. For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin. The words of his mouth are wicked and deceitful; he has ceased to be wise and to do good. Even on his bed he plots evil; he commits himself to a sinful course and does not reject what is wrong.” (Psalm 36:1–4)
Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Childhood Sexual Abuse: The Secret Storm. Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.