Living at Peace with Loss

This semester I am leading a GriefShare group at King’s Grant. It’s a thirteen week small group that will have an effect on the rest of one’s life, but it is possible to Live at Peace with Loss.

A Description of Grief:

June Hunt writes that grief is a heart response to hurt, a painful emotion of sorrow caused by the loss or impending loss of someone or something that has deep meaning to us.

Grief can dig a “ditch of dependency” with deep ruts of anguish, depression, and isolation—strong emotions very difficult to pull yourself out of. God understands our anguish; even the Lord Jesus is described in the Bible as a:

“”Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” (Isaiah 53:3)

We can also be assured that our pain is always purposeful, and when grief accomplishes its work, a deep well has been carved within us that God, in His time, will fill with joy, peace, and contentment. Bible says:

“‘Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.” Lamentations 3:32-33

The journey of grief may be painful, but there is joy in that we don’t travel on this journey alone.

Living with Grief:

“Grief is the recognition you’ve lost someone you love; if there were no love, there would be no grief.” (Zig Ziglar)

Grief is normal, it is not a sign of weakness. Many people will pretend that everything is okay, but this response is not helpful. We must give ourselves permission to grieve, and men, we often don’t do that. We feel we need to be the strong ones and pull ourselves up by determination. People need to honestly express their emotions and realize that the pain of grief will come and go from day to day, perhaps hour by hour.

We are often unprepared for grief when it shows up and you will be surprised at how long it may last. In GriefShare we discovered that we should “lean into our grief” which is like standing in the ocean being tossed by the surf. Don’t run from it, you can’t stop it, but you can stand strong by leaning into it.

We also learned that we should not make big decisions while experiencing grief. Don’t rush into selling the house; remember that you had 30 years of memories there and after you have dealt with grief, you will cherish those memories while still living there. Don’t rush into remarriage, big mistake, and don’t allow people to rush you on your journey.

Weekly Encouragement:

The topics for each week are wonderful, and the first three are appropriate for those in grief who may not have lost a loved one to death. Perhaps there is a loss of life as we have known it.

1. Living with grief
2. The journey of grief
3. The effects of grief
4. When your spouse dies
5. Your family and grief
6. Why?
7. The uniqueness of grief – two sessions
8. The prescription for grief
9. Stuck in grief
10. Top twenty lessons of grief – two sessions
11. Heaven