There is a lot of confusion among men these days. Just look at the commercials we see on TV. I saw one about a guy commenting on his wife’s breakfast cereal choice. The box mentioned “low fat” or something like that so he asked if she’s trying to loose weight. He’s a good husband desiring to engage in communication with his wife, but she slams him, “Are you saying I need to be on a diet?” She asks, “What else does the box say?” Caught in a trap he tries to say the right thing until the clams up after telling her the box says “Shut up, Steve.”
Or how about dads in TV shows: What sort of dads do we find on Family Guy, Jimmy Neutron, The Fairly Odd Parents, Married With Children, or The Simpsons. The cool guys are usually the single men; married guys are idiots, irresponsible dopes, certainly not worth imitating, leaving us to wonder why she married him in the first place (or did she turn him that way?).
I remember when I was younger; there was a book that made fun of masculine stereotypes called, “Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche” (another was “Real Men Don’t Bond” and “Real Men Don’t Say Splendid: a Lexicon of Unmanliness”). Humorous, but I sort of LIKE quiche… eggs in a pie crust, throw in some Italian sausage, bacon, onions… anyway. I also remember Christians came out with their own “real men” statements, like, “Real Men Love Jesus.”
In thinking about men, marriages and family life, I thought I’d post this short list of what it means to be a real man:
- A real man includes his wife in looking toward the future.
- A real man accepts spiritual responsibility for his family.
- A real man is willing to say, “I’m sorry” and “forgive me” to his family.
- A real man discusses household responsibilities with his wife to make sure he is pulling weight.
- A real man consults with his wife on all major financial purchases.
- A real man follows through on the commitments he has made to his wife.
- A real man frequently tells his wife what he likes about her.
- A real man provides for his family’s basic living needs.
- A real man deals with outside distractions so that he can be together with his wife and family.
- A real man prays with his wife on a regular basis.
- A real man initiates meaningful family traditions.
- A real man initiates family outings on a regular basis.
- A real man takes time to give his kids practical instruction about life.
- A real man helps manage the schedule in the home.
- A real man keeps his family financially sound and out of harmful debt.
- A real man draws up a will in case of his untimely death.
- A real man lets his wife and kids into the interior of his life.
- A real man honors his wife in public.
- A real man encourages his wife to grow as an individual.
- A real man provides time for his wife to pursue her own personal interests.
Not a bad list. Seems we all can continue to work on our marriages… none of us has arrived. Share the wealth… what other items would you add to the list?
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