Day Fifteen: Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits. Song of Songs 4:16
If you have been married for any length of time, you know that men and women often view sex in vastly different ways. For a woman, physical intimacy often requires much planning, preparation, and time. She might need flowers, a back rub, and a restful attitude before “feeling ready.” All of the events of the day might need to be resolved and put to bed (no pun intended) before she can give in to her sexual desires.
For a man, all that is required is “to show up naked and bring food.”
Even though you know that spontaneity is more difficult for your wife than it is for you, it is sometimes difficult not to be hurt by her seeming lack of interest.
If waiting until bedtime to spring the idea of making love on your wife isn’t working, let her know your intentions early in the day. Ask her what you can do to help set the mood for the evening.
Are you willing to watch the kids while she takes a bath and unwinds? Do the dishes need to be washed and put away before your wife can call it a night? Sometimes a woman is just too tired from all she has to do to think about making love, even though she may want to.
Remember that differences in sexual desire were created by God, and learn how you can work with these differences instead of railing against them in your marriage.
* Written and distributed by Claudia J. Pate, www.theanniversaryshop.wordpress.com