It’s time for some self-evaluation… ask yourself these questions:
- When you are angry, does reason rule the day or do tense emotions take over?
- Do you allow the mind of Christ within you to determine how best you should act, a choice that leads to appropriate action … or do you have a knee-jerk reaction that leads to inappropriate reaction?
If you have never evaluated what happens when you feel angry or if you lack insight as to how others perceive you when you are angry, seek God’s wisdom and understanding. “If you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” (Proverbs 2:3–6)
An appropriate action is expressing your thoughts and feelings with restraint, understanding, and concern for the other person’s welfare. “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” (Proverbs 17:27)
An inappropriate reaction is expressing your thoughts and feelings in such a way that stirs up anger in others so that it produces strife. Proverbs, the book on wisdom, paints this graphic picture, “As churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.” (Proverbs 30:33)
To help assess whether you act or react, take time to answer the following questions:
Even though a situation may evoke anger, those who allow the Lord to be their strength will respond appropriately. “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” (Colossians 3:12)
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This information comes from Hunt, J. (2008). Biblical Counseling Keys on Anger: Facing the Fire Within, Dallas, TX: Hope For The Heart.